Page 9 of Love Me in the Dark
That put jerking off to shame, big time.
I’ve never come so hard in my life. My head is spinning, my ears are ringing, and I’m pretty sure letting her do that was a huge mistake. I can still taste he and smell her juices, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to let them take her away tomorrow.
But they have to. That’s the way it has to be. This doesn’t change anything—Tristan still needs me. He still needs to get out of here and back into the real world before these sick fucks destroy him. I can’t let that happen. Not even for her.
She didn’t choose this, but neither did I. And neither did my brother.
She’s lying beside me, and I don’t dare look at her. I need to get out of here, get away from her, and pretend this never happened, even if I know, I’ll never forget.
“What are you doing?” She reaches for me when I set up, but I jerk my shoulder away before she can make contact.
“What do you think?” I stand, tucking myself back into my shorts and pants, then zip up. “What, did you think I wouldstay here all night? Like we’ll fall asleep in each other’s arms or something? Get dressed.”
“But, Elijah—” Her voice holds so much pain and confusion. I can’t stand hearing how much I’m hurting her.
“Now. Or do you want my dad to come in and see you like this? What do you think he would do?” It hurts, but I force myself to look her in the eye and not flinch away from the pain I find. “Do it, or don’t. I don’t care.”
Her chin quivers like she’s fighting back tears. “Please, don’t be like this.” Still, at least she gets up and pulls the dress over her head before I turn my back on her. At least I don’t have to force her into it.
“Like what? Like realistic? Sorry, this isn’t some fairy tale.” I hate myself, but it’s for the best. It’s for Tristan. I can’t let myself forget about him the way Dad did. He forgot about both of us.
“Why won’t you look at me?” she asks when she finds me staring at the floor. “I’m dressed now. You don’t have to worry about me getting you hard again.”
“A body does what it’s going to do,” I remind her, my voice flat. “Don’t act like you deserve an award or something for making me come.”
“Don’t sound like that. I know you don’t mean it.”
“What, are you going to cry now? Hey, at least somebody made you come who didn’t pay for the honor. At least you have that to hold onto.”
My body stiffens when she grabs my arm. “I know why you’re doing this. I’m not stupid. You think you’re being noble or something, pushing me away, but really you are just making me feel like shit.”
“Right.” I yank my arm away, and her touch still burns. “Keep telling yourself that. Whatever you need to get you through this.”
“Stop it.” When I angle my body away from hers, she steps up in front of me, holding me by the shoulders. “Look at me. At leastlook at me. If you’re going to treat me this way, do it like a man. Look me in the eye.”
She’s killing me. I don’t know how much longer I can keep up this act. All I want is to take her in my arms and promise she doesn’t have to go, that I can stop this from happening. I want to save her.
I can’t. Not if I’m going to save my brother. That’s just how it has to be.
But I know she’s won’t stop until I give her what she wants, so I force myself to look into her eyes. They’re soft and full of tenderness. “I know why you’re doing this.”
“Oh, you do?” But even now, I don’t sound as sarcastic as I did before. I’m losing ground fast. I need to get out of this room, but I don’t think I can. And I don’t want to.
“You’re not like them.” She takes my face between her hands and stands on tiptoes to kiss me. I don’t kiss her back, but I don’t push her away, either. I’m not that strong. “You are not your father. You’re not like the other men. I feel it. Maybe I always did, and that’s why I couldn’t help liking you.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I’m not just saying it to make you feel bad or to get what I want. It’s the truth. I feel how different you are. You’re a good man, Elijah.”
But then she releases my face—I wish she wouldn’t—and squares her shoulders. “But you can’t help me, either. I know that, too.”
It’s the resignation in her voice that makes me sure my body’s going to tear itself in half. That’s what she’s doing to me, ripping me to pieces and making me question everything that was so important when I woke up this morning. Before I heard what she did, and knew we were getting pulled into it.
“Leona, I…”
She only touches her fingers to my lips and shakes her head, wearing a sad smile. ‘There’s one more thing you can do for me. I don’t want apologies, and I don’t need explanations. I just need you to hold me.”
She sits down on the bed, then moves over to make room for me. “Please? Just hold me until morning. Don’t make me go through the night alone. I promise, this time, I won’t do anything. I’m exhausted; I didn’t sleep at all last night. I don’t want to be alone. That’s all.”
