Page 79 of Maneater
I open and close my mouth a few times, trying to decide how to answer before I do.
“It had nothing to do with you. I didn’t know what you did for work, much less where you worked. And even then, how would I have known that you were coming to this resort?” I don’t deny that I’m here for a reason.
“If you’re working with someone here, you could have assumed I’d make my way here once the fire came to my attention.”
I can see his line of thinking, really, I can, because if I were in his shoes, those are the connections I’d make. But I need him not to. Ineed him to stop digging, stop searching. My eyes are wide and pleading when I say my next sentence.
“I need you to trust me, Rowan. I can’t tell you right now, but as soon as I can, I will. I promise.”
It’s more than I’ve ever given anyone, on a mission or not. I’ve never told anyone I was casually seeing or hooking up with someone about my job, but Rowan isn’t either of those.
That’s the conclusion I’ve been slowly coming to terms with over the past few days. I finally found a man who I want to give a chance to, who I want to prove to me that not all men are liars and cheats, and now, because of this job I love, I might have fucked it up before it even started.
He changes the subject then, and my pulse pours.
“Where did you get my keycard?” he asks, his voice low and deceptively calm. I am anything but calm in this moment.
“I… I… I…”. I stutter, unsure of what to say or how to talk myself out of this. “I found it with my things yesterday. I must have grabbed it without thinking the other day, I don’t know, Rowan. I swear, it was just a happy circumstance. I was here because I thought you might be here and?—”
“A happy circumstance,” he says with a humorless laugh, disbelief in the words. “So you were at the party the other night—was that also some plan to distract me? Using jealousy to get me distracted so you could break into the room? Or your accomplice, I suppose?” Guilt lashed through my stomach once more. “This afternoon, were you stealing something else? Giving Rory a free pass to set this up for the next sabotage, knowing I’d be distracted by your mouth?”
My eyes are wide as his words hit their target, slicing deep. That’s exactly the conclusion I would come to if I were in his shoes, but hearing the accusations thrown at me hurts.
“Rowan, I can’t believe you would even ask that. You really think I would do that?”
“What else am I supposed to think, Josie? You were at the sceneof the crime holding my stolen keycard. Sometimes one plus one equals two.”
“And sometimes things aren’t what they seem,” I say, my voice wavering, my hands out at my sides. “Rowan, it wasn’t me. I know what it looks like, but it wasn’t. You have to believe me.”
“No, I don’t.” A sudden look of sadness crosses his face before it’s once again smothered by anger. “I don’t have to believe you.”
It’s the truth, of course. He doesn’t have to believe me. And really, he shouldn’t. But, god, I hoped he would.
“Rowan—” I start, my voice cracking, but he cuts me off with a shake of his head.
“Look, I have things to do,” he says, tipping his head toward his desk. “Go back to your room. But don’t go far, in case we have to ask you any questions.”
I stare at him for long, long moments where I wish things were different, where I wish I was allowed to tell him everything, but that’s part of the job. If I spilled it all now without talking to Rory and Gabriel, I could lose my job. I could blow the case. I would lose the trust of people I care about.
So I nod, and I turn away, hoping to hear him call my name to try and work this out.
But I never do.
And as I’m walking back toward my room, I realize that while I may have kept the true nature of the mission safe, I may have ruined all we might have had.
THIRTY-TWO
JOSIE
I’m a mess when I get to our room, barely able to fight back the tears rimming my eyes until I open the door. When I do, Rory stands from where she was sitting at the desk, notes sprawled around her, and waits until the door slams behind me. I lean against it, my body unable to hold myself up any longer, and let the first tear finally fall.
“Oh, honey,” Rory whispers in her sweet, soft voice that she doesn’t use often before moving to me and pulling me into her arms. “That bad?”
“He doesn’t trust me,” I cry into her shoulder. “And of course, he shouldn’t, but I want him to. I want him just to trust me and let me solve this, and then I can tell him everything. But he’s so fucking stubborn, and, of course, I get it because I wouldn’t believe me either, but…fuck!”
Slowly, she guides me to the bed, and I sit on the edge next to her, taking in a few deep breaths to calm myself before I spill everything about the rest of my afternoon and, most importantly, the look Rowan gave me before I walked away.
Ten minutes later, I’ve finished telling Rory everything: what I saw while the paramedics helped out the woman, what happenedwhen the police came to file a report, how the employees reacted, the seeming confirmation of Daniel and Tanya hooking up, and most importantly, what happened with Rowan.
