Page 37 of It Started with a Sunset
Avery turned in her chair so she faced Summer and studied her for a moment, and Summer tried to make sure she appeared happy and normal. But either Summer was failing at it or Avery was ultra-perceptive, because she said, “You don’t quite seem yourself. I mean, I get that you’re stressed from work, but it feels like it’s something beyond that. Are you okay?”
Summer smiled and perked herself up more, just like she always did. “Yep!” Then she remembered what Brock had told her about not being responsible for everyone else’s happiness and that she was allowed to feel her feelings.
So she decided to take a chance and feel her feelings in front of Avery. “Okay, maybe there is something.” Or maybe she didn’t want to even think about the feelings. But Avery was looking at her with a concerned expression, so maybe it was too late to go back. She took a big breath and let it out slowly, hoping it would calm her heart that had started racing.
“I’m spending enough time with Brock that things are just naturally getting more serious. And I’m scared, Avery. I’ve never gotten to this point with a guy before. I always end things long before this. But Brock is just different from every other guy, so I really don’t want any of it to end. But I’m also so afraid of continuing forward because it’s all such unknown territory. I really don’t want to mess it up, but I have no idea what I’m doing. Or if I can handle it.”
“You can handle it and you’re not going to mess it up.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know you, and you’re awesome.”
Avery leaned forward and gave Summer a hug, which she apparently needed way more than she could’ve guessed. But Avery’s words of confidence in Summer’s abilities didn’t actually comfort her, because she didn’t believe them.
“Summer?”
Tess’s voice came from the other side of the half wall. She quickly let go of Avery’s hug, blinking a few times to make sure her eyes weren’t going to look like they might be teary, and turned to her boss. “Yeah?”
“When you get done here, do you mind meeting with me in my office?”
Summer nodded and said goodbye to Avery. She felt her phone buzz and looked down at it to see that she’d gotten a text from her dad.
Dad: Hi, sunshine! Just wanted to pop in and say that I hope you have a great day.
She smiled and sent him aThank you! I needed thatmessage back, then went through the gap in the wall to the Welcome Center side. She looked but didn’t see Brock as she walked through the common area of their offices and back to Tess’s office.
Tess eyed her as she sat down. “Are you doing okay?”
Summer put on her happy, peppy face. “Yep!” She might let herself feel her feelings for a quick moment with Avery, but she wasn’t about to with her boss. “What did you want to talk with me about?”
“We had a decent number of applicants after the Aquamoose Tracks event a few weeks ago, which was great, especially considering the sprinkler incident. So I think the one we do at the end of this month will go well after implementing the tweaks we talked about.
“I just wanted to check in to see how you feel about the presentation you’ve been giving at high school events and to brainstorm with you about anything else we can do to get our numbers up. We’re at midterms now, and I’d hate to see us head into the second half of the semester with the numbers still coming in at the same pace that they are.”
By the time they had finished brainstorming all the things that could be done to bring in more student applications, Summer was feeling more mentally numb and lightheaded than ever. Maybe she could handle showing just a tiny bit of her feelings around her boss because she really needed advice, and it was the only way she could ask.
She looked down at her notes. “There’s just more work here than I could ever possibly get to, and I’m having a hard time knowing where to even start.”
“I suggest putting all your notes into a list, then give each one a score on how big of an impact it’ll make. Then look at the scores to decide where your time is going to be best spent.”
Tess leaned forward in her chair, her elbows on the table, her hands almost reaching across to Summer, like she wanted her words to zing across the desk to her more fully. “That’s the hard thing about good things—there are always multiple good things out there, and choosing one often means not choosing another. So make sure you’re taking the time to stop and think about whether you’re okay with that before making your choice.”
Summer nodded, thanked Tess, picked up her notes, and headed out of Tess’s office.
And, because she automatically related anything anyone said to Brock, she thought about how the very nature of a serious relationship—one that seemed to be getting more serious every day—was all about choosing one person over all others. From about the time she’d been old enough to get her driver’s license, she’d started to notice how difficult it was for her to commit to choosing plans to do one thing over another. How could she commit to a serious relationship when the consequences could affect the rest of her entire life? She definitely didn’t feel qualified to make that kind of choice.
As soon as she got to her office, Brock knocked on her doorframe, a winning smile on his face. “Good morning. How’s the stress level?”
“Oh, you know. On a scale of one to ten, somewhere around twenty-seven. How about yours?”
“I’ve gotten mine down to about twenty-five, so I’m thinking of celebrating.”
“You definitely should. Hey, listen, I don’t think we better get together tonight; Tess just loaded on more work, and I think I better stay focused on getting it under control.”
He paused, studying her, then nodded. “Okay. Let me know if you change your mind, or if you get hungry this evening and want me to bring some food.”
“Thank you.”
