Page 24 of Spiced Chais and Secret Spies
Ipet him asIponder and talk, and he seems all here for it.
“Okay,”Isay. “Ilove making stuff for other people, andIthinkIdo want to share a booth withRyleigh.Maybeeven start selling items online.Ilove crafting things.Physicalthings that people can use or wear.AndIwant to be at a farmer’s market, or a boutique, or a festival and see the expressions on people’s faces as they look at the thingsI’vecreated and decide whether or not they want to buy them.
“Iwant to travel, too.AndIwant to keep my job at theCoffeeLoftbecauseIlove it.Someday, if my craft stuff takes off,Imight change my mind.Butfor now,I’mgoing to keep enjoying seeing my regular customersevery day and living off the satisfactionIget with each orderIfinish.”
Charmbarks, and based on the open-mouthed smile on his face as he looks at me,Ithink he’s telling me thatI’mon the right track so far.
“AndIwantOllie,”Itell him. “IthinkI’veknown thatIdo for much longer thanI’vebeen willing to admit to myself.”
PrinceCharmingsettles onto the grass looking straight at me, his two little paws in front, right next to each other.He’sgot a “See?Iknew whatIwas doing whenImade you crash into him on that sidewalk” look on his face.
“Iam not going to tell you you’re a good boy for tripping me,”Itell him. “Orfor chasingOllie’scat up a tree.”Ipause a moment, then add, “Butyou are a good boy.”Yeah, he knows it.
“I’verealized how happyIget every morning whenIseeOlliewalk through those doors.Andhe is so supportive.IfItell him my plans about doing a craft booth,Iknow that he will be my biggest cheerleader.Andhe would be so proud of every stepImade along the way.”
SinceOlliefirst told me that he thinks my spontaneity and adaptability are strengths that he’s in awe of,I’vethought about his words so many times.Ithas made me look at myself so differently.Andit has opened so many more possibilities for my life.Idon’tthinkIwould’ve thoughtIcould do the boutique if it wasn’t for him seeing me so differently from howIwas seeing myself.
“Doyou know what?”ItellPrinceCharmingas the realization hits me. “Oneof the reasons whyI’vealways held back on doing the craft fair thing is becauseIthoughtIwould have to commit to making one type of thing, andIwas worried thatIwould get bored of it quickly and want to stop.AndthenI’dfeel like a failure.
“Butwho saysIhave to sell the same things all the time?Maybebeing spontaneous and adaptable would actually make me more successful.Icould respond to trends more.Havefun new stuff all the time, and maybe that would make people want to come back more.”
Irealize thatOlliegiving me the ability to see whatIthought were my weaknesses as my strengths was a gift.Onethat will keep giving to me my entire life.
“AndmaybeOllieneeds me, too,”ItellCharm. “Hesaid that he wishes he could be more spontaneous.Hehas a lot of fears when it comes to taking risks.MaybeIcan help him ease into taking risks.Thenhe can make decisions based on what he really wants instead of letting fear make decisions for him.Maybetogether, we can build each other up and become more than what either of us could be separately.”
Charmbarks his agreement.Atleast,Iassume it’s agreement.Hestill has his eyes on me, listening intently, and he’s got that smile on his face.Okay, he alwaysdoes, butI’mgoing to choose to believe that this is agreementI’mseeing.
“Ican’t believeI’vejust been sitting here, waiting for fate to come along!Orfor the wind to blow my kite in a direction that was undeniably toOllie.Ithink it’s timeImade choices and decide whatIwant to do and follow through on it.”
Charmjumps to his feet and barks three times.
“AndifOllieis interested in dating me but needs a little push or a little reassurance, thenIcan give him that push.Ican reassure him.Ican even askhimout.Idon’t have to follow my rules if it doesn’t feel right.”
PrinceCharminggrabs the leash that’s beside me in his mouth and hands it to me.Ilaugh. “Iguess this means you’re ready for me to start owning my life, huh?”
CHAPTER 13
FEAR EVICTION: NOTICE SERVED
OLLIE
Iglance at my watch asIrush into thePacioli&Blackwellbuilding, then run my hand through my hair.IfIhave to wait more than about four seconds for the elevator,I’mgoing to be late.
Lastnight,Icouldn’t fall asleep.Mymind kept running on repeat all the mistakesImade.Specifically, the mistake of not askingDaisyout.Shewas right there, expecting it, andIstill did nothing!
Ifthe last seventy-two hours have taught me anything, it’s thatIwantDaisyin my life more thanIever have.AndIknewIdid quite a bit before then.NowthatI’vebeen able to spend so much time with her, it’s been a confirmation that her amazingness wasn’t just somethingIhad built up in my head.She’seven more incredible thanIhad imagined.
Yet, when it came time to make the critical move,Ifumbled the mission.Andbecause of that, my night was filled with so many regrets.
Atsome point early this morning,Ifinally fell asleep.Deepasleep.I’mtalking freight-train-couldn’t-wake-me asleep.Andneither could my alarm, apparently.Roididn’t even wake me up.Whenmy consciousness did return to the land of the living, she was asleep in her bed.Maybeshe jumped up on my bed at the normal time, then got bored of waiting for me to wake up, and went back to her bed.Maybeshe even put her paw on my forehead.Ihave no idea.
AllIknow is thatIhad time to shower, dress, brush my teeth, comb my hair, get breakfast forRoi, give her a quick goodbye scratch under her chin, and race to work, praying for green lights all along the way.
Thesaddest part about oversleeping is thatIhad to skip going toCoffeeLoftfor my spiced chai.Ihaven’t worked here a single day without stopping at theCoffeeLoftfirst.Itfeels wrong to step onto the elevator (which happened to be waiting for me) without chai in my belly.
Butit feels even more wrong to not seeDaisythis morning.Especiallyafter our mission yesterday.Innot asking her to stay at the festival with me,Ididn’t get to spend nearly as much time with her asIwould’ve liked.SoI’mmissing her doubly.Plus, seeing her every morning makes me feel as ifI’marmed with an extra layer of confidence for the day.
WhenIget off the elevator,Ihead down the hall to my team’s area.Tadis at the desk in his cubicle, and it makes me realize that a part of me had wondered ifI’dcome in today to see his desk completely cleaned off and be informed that he was no longer an employee.Butthe bigger part of me never really believed that was how this morning would go.
