Page 40 of Patchwork
I push my chair back and stand up.
“I’m going to see if I can still sign up for one of the slots tonight. I’ll be right back.”
Hero stares at me for a second, looking confused, then nods.
“Hell yeah,” he says encouragingly, patting my shoulder as I pass.
I’m going to be brave and perform my own music. And when we get back to the house later, I’ll be even more brave and finally lay all my cards on the table. I’m falling in love with Hero, and if he doesn’t feel the same, I’d rather know it now.
HERO
I feel like I must have missed something. Onyx has barely said a word to me all night. He’s hardly said a word to anyone. He claps and cheers for each of the performers, but everything I’ve said to him has only gotten one-word answers or tight smiles in reply. Maybe he’s just nervous to perform on his own?
The host for the night tells us to give another round of applause for the poet who just left the stage, then calls Onyx’s name to go on next.
“You’ve got this, rockstar.” I shoot him a wink, and we all whistle and cheer as he makes his way up to the stage.
A murmur goes through the crowd, and I hear a few people asking each other if that’s who they think it is. I rumble a laugh at the shy way Onyx ducks his head briefly, fiddling with hisguitar strap and adjusting the microphone. It’s amazing to watch in real time as he gathers up his confidence and transforms from a nervous dude at an open mic night to a rockstar, flashing a cocky smile to the crowd and shaking his hair out of his eyes.
“Thanks for having me. There’s a lot of incredible talent in here tonight. I’m going to perform a song I wrote myself for the first time in public, so please be gentle with me.” He flashes a cocky smile that earns him some more cheers and a couple of catcalls. “This one is calledMilwaukee.”
He starts to strum, and I immediately recognize the chords. They vibrate through my body and prickle over my skin as a mixture of nostalgia and pride and absolute awe rushes through me. It’s the melody he played for me after the first time we hooked up. There’s something even more satisfying about this than the tattoos I’ve etched all over his skin. Whatever happens between us in the future, I’m imprinted inside of him too. I’m on his skin, I’m in his music… this thing between us means something to him.
He might have written the chords while I fucked him, but the lyrics are something else. They’re about fear and fate and taking chances. This song isn’t anything like what he plays for Black Sheep, and his raspy voice is memorable all on its own. I know he’s not always happy with his band, and honestly, he doesn’t need them. He could have a solo career even more successful than what he has now. He could tour even more if he wants to.
Feelings war inside me. I’m so fucking impressed with him, and any part of me that was still holding on, resisting the pull to fall completely and stupidly in love with Onyx Hart, gives up. But there’s also a sinking feeling—the realization that he’s not someone I’ll ever be able to keep all for myself. Whether it’s a weekend or three months, he’ll always be leaving. Can I live with that?
His song ends and the crowd is silent for a second, like they’re all just as stunned as I am by his talent and his soul. The cheers are deafening when they start. Onyx hops down off the stage and hurries back over to our tables. More praise follows him as the host wraps up the evening and everyone starts to get up to leave.
“Is it wrong to be slightly bummed that there weren’t any homophobic hecklers for us to toss out?” Milo asks.
Piston laughs. “Tell you what, next weekend we can go to a redneck bar and start some shit.”
“Deal,” Milo agrees eagerly.
“Ready to head home?” I ask Onyx.
He nods and we all head out and hop back on our bikes. I’m glad that it’s impossible to hold a conversation on the Harley. The fifteen-minute ride home will give me a chance to start sorting through the tangled feelings in my chest a little bit. Except it turns out fifteen minutes isn’t nearly enough, and I’m still a knotted mess by the time we kick our shoes off. Onyx picks Diva up and coos praise at her, and another pang hits me in the sternum. I’m not even jealous that he convinced my cat to like him more than me. I just hope she won’t blame me when he leaves.
“That song was amazing,” I say gruffly. “They should let you do lead vocals sometimes for Black Sheep.”
Onyx huffs a laugh and sets Diva back down. She scampers away with a flick of her tail, and the two of us wander into the living room.
“Actually…” He clears his throat and drags his fingers through his hair. “My agent has been blowing up my phone. I need to set up a meeting with him and—”
“You’re leaving early?” That heavy feeling in my chest gets even weightier.
He frowns. “I’m notleaving, I just need to go back to Seattle for a few days. But I wanted to talk to you first—”
“What’s to talk about?” I interrupt him again. A little alarm sounds in the back of my head, warning me that I’m acting like a dickhead right now. But I can’t seem to rein it in, not when every fear I have is being immediately proven right. “You should go. Fall Crosse isn’t going to keep a rockstar entertained for three months straight. I knew that already.”
Onyx’s frown morphs into a scowl, and for the first time since I’ve known him, he looks pissed.
“What the hell is your problem? You’ve been trying to push me out the door since the minute I got here. Why are you so fucking convinced that there’s nothing here for me? You don’t even know me.”
His words are like a slap in the face.
“I’m not pushing, I’m being realistic. What the hell do I have to offer you? Even great sex can only keep someone around so long.”
