Page 41 of Patchwork
He scoffs, tugging his lip ring between his teeth and glaring at me. “Right, I’m only here for your dick. That’s why I won’t even tell you my real name. Oh wait, that’s you, not me.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
He shakes his head and his shoulders sag, the fight going out of him just as quickly as it sparked.
“Forget it. I really do need to deal with my agent though, so I think I’m going to see if I can get a flight out tomorrow. Let’s take a few days to cool off and get our thoughts together, and we can talk about shit when I come back.”
Is he really going to come back?
I replay everything we just shouted at each other. He thinks I don’t know him? He’s pissed he doesn’t know my name? But none of that got down to the root of what’s really bothering me.I don’t know if I can deal with only having him for a handful of hours a few times a year.
I guess he’s right. We both have some thinking to do.
Chapter 19
ONYX
Ilieawakehalfthe night listening to Hero’s steady breathing and wondering what the hell even happened last night. I feel so stupid for getting so worked up over something as small as Hero’s real name. But… is that stupid? After hours of going around in circles about it, I still can’t decide if I’m overreacting or if it really is a sign that he doesn’t see this as something serious the way I do.
By the time the morning sun starts to paint the bedroom in shades of gray and pink, I roll out of bed and quietly get dressed. I don’t really want to leave this morning without waking him up to make sure we’re okay, but the flight I managed to book last night leaves out of Milwaukee in just a couple of hours.
Knots twist in my gut as I stare down at Hero’s sleeping form, one arm flung over his face, the covers half off him to give me a nice view of his bare chest. I trace his familiar tattoos with my eyes, shapes I memorized with my tongue years ago. I’m tempted to forget the flight altogether, crawl back into bed, and spend the morning making up for that fight. Longing plucks atmy chest and it’s nearly impossible to resist the lure of Hero’s warm bed, but I already texted Van to let him know I’d be back in Seattle today. He’s expecting me in his office tomorrow, and I’m more than ready to get this shit wrapped up.
This isn’t like the other times I left. I won’t have to spend months with an ache in my chest, counting down the weeks and months until I get to see him again. I’ll only be gone for a few days. Then I’ll come back, and we’ll sort things out. I’ll lay it all out on the table for him, tell him things will be different, and ask if he wants this the same way I do.
I tear myself away from watching him and tiptoe out of the bedroom, easing the door closed behind me. In the living room, Diva yawns and stretches on the back of the couch, slow blinking a “hello” to me before she stands up and scampers towards the kitchen expectantly. I chuckle and follow her. I guess I can fill her bowl before I leave.
I click my tongue against my teeth and open the cabinet above the refrigerator to grab a few treats from the stash I put up there a few weeks ago. She meows and kneads her claws into the denim of my jeans, tilting her head one way and then the other to beg so cutely for the treats she already knows she’s getting.
“Here you go, beautiful,” I coo, dropping the treats for her and scratching her chin before going to the cupboard to get her dry food to fill her bowl. She meows again and rubs up against my shins, and then happily starts to munch on her breakfast. “I’ll be back in a few days, okay Deevs? Don’t let your daddy convince himself otherwise.”
I straighten up and glance around the kitchen for a second, my attention landing on my notebook on the counter. Perfect.
I tear out a piece of paper and write a brief note.
I’m sorry we got into it last night. If you think about it, it was our first fight, which is kind of a big relationship milestone.Let’s celebrate with a cake when I get back? Or maybe I’ll just cover you in frosting and lick it off instead.
I’ll see you in a few days, and we’ll talk.
My hand pauses, poised over the paper, trying to decide how to end the note. ‘Love, Onyx’? I haven’t managed to say the word out loud to him yet, and I probably shouldn’t do it in a note when I’m on my way out the door. I tap the tip of the pen against the paper for a second then settle for doodling a little heart instead. I stick the paper partially under the coffee machine so there’s no way he’ll miss it when he wakes up, and then I quietly slip on my shoes and step out the front door.
It’s a pleasant, warm morning with the smell of summer heavy in the air—grass and the faint smell of manure from some nearby field. A sense of nostalgia andhometugs at my gut, and I smile. Whatever Hero decides about us, I think I’ll settle in Fall Crosse either way. Not that I’llnevertravel again or ever get that itch to be somewhere a little busier once in a while, but I’ve missed the simple feeling of home here. I think I started missing it the minute I left, I just wasn’t ready to admit that to myself. I was still too young and proud to think a little town in Wisconsin could be enough for me, but I don’t think you get a say in where your heart decides home is.
With one last look over my shoulder at the house, I get into my car and drive away.
HERO
I can tell that Onyx is gone before I’ve even pried my eyes open. There’s a different kind of quiet in the house, an empty feeling in my chest. Jesus, I’m a fucking idiot. What were we even fighting about last night? Seeing him shine like that up on stage just reminded me that he’s too talented and beautiful for a place like Fall Crosse… for a man like me.
I groan at myself, rolling over to bury my face in my pillow in an attempt to suffocate the idiocy out of myself. I think I said something about him only being here for my dick. Fuck my life, this stupidity might actually be rooted too damn deep to remove it without brain damage. I sigh and flop onto my back again. Diva mews and paws at the door. I can’t just lie here sulking until Onyx comes back…ifhe comes back. But the thought of dragging my ass out of bed and actually facing the empty house is too much.
I reach for my phone on the nightstand and fire off a quick text to Milo.
HERO: if you aren’t working this morning, want to come by and hang out for a bit? I’ll make coffee and waffles.
MILO: Blueberry waffles?
I chuckle and type out ‘sure’ and Milo responds by liking the message, which I’m hoping means he’ll come over. I let myself wallow for just a few more minutes before getting up, taking a piss, and throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The rumble of Milo’s old car engine catches my ear as I shuffle into the kitchen. I need to do a tune-up for him before he ends up stalled out on the side of the road somewhere.
