Page 80 of Knot What She Seems
“Why don’t you just tell me the truth instead of some elaborate story?” Sam suggests gently. His voice is still a little hoarse from the Noth attack.
“It’s classified,” I improv, but that lovely little word seems to get the desired response from him.
Sam’s eyes grow as round as saucers, and he shifts on the bed, leaning back a little. “Oh.”
“Look. Ted is taking care of some things right now. But nobody can know.” I let my expression instead of my words lay out the threat of what will happen if anyone gets wind of this little switch.
Immediately, the beta shakes his head, fingers nervously grabbing the hem of his T-shirt and twisting it. “I wouldn’t tell. Who would I even tell? You’re my roommate…ohhhh. That’s why you never sleep here.”
I tilt my head as I study him. I’m not sure if I should be relieved that he just put two and two together about the sleep situation or if the fact that he’s a bit slow on the uptake means he’s more likely to spill the beans.
What choice do I have, though?
I either trust Sam or figure out a way to get him out of the picture.
He didn’t do anything wrong. I failed. That means I at least need to give him the opportunity to make good on his promise.
But it doesn’t mean I have to put complete faith in him. Maybe I can get Caran to do some digging into his past. There’s probably nothing there except for weird internet kinks I don’t want to know about…but still, sometimes those are the best leverage.
“How long are you going to…?” He trails off almost as if he realizes mid-question that perhaps he shouldn’t be asking.
I give him a tight smile and state, “I wish I could say more, but that’s really all.”
“Okay. Okay. So, just continue on like before?”
“Yup.”
“Yeah, I can do that.” He blinks and gives me a bashful smile that seems sincere. I study his face for a second, looking for any sign of a flinch, any flicker in his eyes that says he might be lying.
My stomach doesn’t fully unknot, but it’s the best that I can do…for now.
“Can you find something to do for an hour while I clean up here?” I ask.
“Um…sure, but there’s probably going to be an all-hands meeting or something pretty soon. I think I read that they do assemblies after incidents and after attack simulations and stuff,” he states as he scratches the back of his neck dolefully.
“Fuck. I forgot about that. Okay. Can you at least give me thirty and a massive warning if they’re calling people to assemble?”
“Yup. Can do.” He pops up off the bed as if this is the most uncomfortable place in the world to be right now. He’s not wrong about that.
While he stalks quickly to the door, I try very hard not to look down at my bloodstained hands. I was a disgusting mess of sweat before this attack and now? Now, I’m like the underside of someone’s shoe after a walk through a dog park on a rainy day.
Sam stops with his hand on the knob, turning, his shoulders slightly hunched. His teeth sink into his lower lip, and he looks meek as he says softly, “By the way, thanks for saving my life.” He spins around to face the door quickly as a red flush climbs up his neck.
I wonder if it’s because he’s embarrassed he needed to be saved or if he’s embarrassed he was saved by an omega.
Either way, it’s probably a blow to his ego. If people found out, it would be a blow to his reputation.
Knowing that eases my tension a little. It helps me believe that Sam will keep quiet out of more than just the goodness of his heart. But the heavy weight in the air is awkward with the weight of his gratitude and embarrassment, so I try to lighten it a little. “Maybe Alpha Team X will go a little lighter on us next class. Give us bonus points for surviving a real fight?”
Sam snorts in disbelief, giving a little eye roll. “Yeah. Right. They probably only give bonus points for bullet holes.”
“Too true. I do need the admin to revisit this whole ‘no weapons in the dorms’ policy.”
My roommate stares at me, swallowing hard. I’m sure he’s thinking about how much better he would have fared if he could have been armed. “Me too.”
With that, he leaves, and I head into the bathroom to try to erase some of the blood. The memories won’t wash away as easily…but honestly? I have yet to be hit by a wave of remorse.
Maybe it’s out there, somewhere, building offshore like a tsunami. But for right now, I simply feel an exhausted sort of pride that I protected someone.
