Page 16 of Grave Kisses
Embarrassment suddenly stabs through me, and I try to get up. “Stop. Relax,” Marcus says, keeping me in his lap.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why…”
“It’s okay,” Marcus says. “How do you feel?”
“Tired,” I mutter. “Why are you holding me hostage?”
“Uh. Well, because you just screamed and broke all the dishes in the kitchen for twenty minutes straight and then sobbed until you passed out. So, you need to just relax for a while,” he says.
“I don’t know why I did that,” I admit, giving in and relaxing against his chest.
“Because you are sad. Angry. Probably triggered. It’s a lot of emotion,” he says.
“Where’s Bellamy?”
“Sitting on the bed behind you,” he tells me, turning so I can see Bellamy.
“Hi,” Bellamy says sweetly.
“I feel weird now. Can we go to the safe?” I ask.
“Yeah. Let’s do it,” Marcus says, patting my leg and unwrapping his arms from around me. When I stand up, they do too. I go down the hallway to Alan’s bedroom, and the entire room smells like him. It’s comforting in the saddest way. I push the feelings aside and go to his closet. In the back, I move the boxes from in front of the panel before pulling it open. The reason I am the only one who can open this is because it takes a handprint. I lay my hand on the scanner, and the lock immediately disengages. I never thought I would have to do this, and it feels wrong to snoop through his stuff, but this stuff is saved for a reason.
Inside, there are various items like the deed to the house, registration for the vehicles, and a few business documents, but it’s the box at the bottom of the safe that catches my attention. When I pick it up, I see that it has my name on it. I look through everything else before taking the box to the front porch. I can’t relax in there, and I know this box is important. It means that he knew that I would have to get in there one day when he was not able to.
Marcus and Bellamy sit with me as I set the box on my lap and pull the lid off. On top is a picture of him and me at my college graduation. Under it is an envelope with my name on it. I set those aside, and there are several USB drives.
“I feel like I should open the envelope first,” I say.
“It was on top, so I’d say probably,” Bellamy says. I sigh and pick it back up.
Kendra,
My sweet girl… If you are reading this, then I have passed away. I wish I could be there to hold you through the grief. I know you are trying to bottle it up, but don’t. You’ve worked too hard to free yourself from your own mind to go back to that place. The truth is, I’ve known for months that I am dying. I know it is just a matter of time before my heart gives out, but I don’t want you to have to grieve me before I am gone. Part of it is selfishness because I don’t ever want to see you hurting like you were when I first took you in. I know you have probably already questioned if there was anything you could’ve done differently to save me, but you couldn’t. I knew my fate, which is why I am writing this. I made sure everything was in order exactly how I wanted it, so life would be easier for you when my time does come.
First things first. Marcus is going to be an asshole for a while. It’s inevitable. He’s too much like his dad. Bellamy is his voice of reason, so just stick it out until he pulls his head out of his ass. They’re both wonderful men who I am confident will take care of you. Before you try to shut them out, understand they’re more stubborn than you. Which says a lot, really. No offense! I’d be lying if I said I’m not sitting here hoping you’ll marry one of those boys one day. (Or both. I don’t judge.) But even as just friends, they will take care of you just the same as Martin or I would.
Next, Archer… There is a lot I haven’t told you, or anyone, really. I protected him when I shouldn’t have. I tried so hard to help him, but what he did to you was the final straw. Kimberly was Archer’s older sister by a year. She was sweet and sassy, just like you… The truth is, Archer killed her. More specifically, he brutalized her and then killed her. I found her body in the shed when I returned from a trip, and that image will forever be burned into my mind. I think the most frightening part was the fact that she had sat there all weekend, and he was sitting in the house like nothing had happened, while his sister’s mutilated body was sitting outside. He freely admitted to it and said there was nothing I could do, but I didn’t want to believe it. I had already lost her and my wife, so losing him was too much. I never spoke up about his confession (although, he was on drugs. So, who knows if I got the full truth), and her case went cold… I’m telling you this because you are about to inherit everything. I am making sure to leave his trust because I know you will sign it over to him. This means he inherits something, and he legally cannot come after you for anything. To add to that, there are signed adoption papers in the safe. Sign them and give them to Jesse. She knows all of this and will ensure that he has no case. I’d like to think he wouldn’t come after you otherwise, but he might. Be prepared for that. He is pure evil, Kendra. Never trust him. In this box are flash drives that contain all of the proof that you need to get justice for yourself, if you want. I don’t think I need to explain exactly what I mean by that, but the house had cameras at the time of your attack. Watch with care, and don’t try to do it alone.
I love you so much, Kendra. No matter where you are in life, I am there too. No matter what happens, know that I am proud of you. I wish I could hug you while you read this, but find solace in knowing that I am taking every moment I can to say goodbye.
Love you always,
Dad.
P.S. We both know you like dark humor, so here is an interesting fact… Did you know people shit themselves when they die? Now you can say that even when I’m dead, I still give a shit! If you don’t laugh at my shitty joke, I’ll haunt you!
I laugh as tears roll down my cheeks. He was always so goofy, and this is what I needed. This is closure, even though it hurts. Marcus and Bellamy are also laughing through tears.
“I can’t believe he signed out his death note like that,” Marcus says, wiping his face.
“Shit, I can,” Bellamy says. “He was morbid.”
“It hurts, but I’m glad I got this,” I say. “God, he was such a dork.”
“I can imagine his silly ass giggling as he wrote that,” Bellamy says, and I laugh. I can imagine it too. I do not doubt that he did it intentionally.
“I’m just going to get this over with,” I say as I stand with the box. “Y’all don’t have to see this if it is what I think it is.”
