Page 114 of Howl for Me
The very life I ran from, the one I swore I’d never let myself have, swollen-bellied, living in the shadow of a man, mother to some wild-eyed child. It’s right there, breathing down my spine. And yet… Why does the thought of it with him not make me want to bolt? Why doesn’t it make me sick? Why do I feel safe? He eases me down into the tub, and I hiss at the heat until it wraps around me. He kneels beside the edge, dipping a washcloth and running it down my thighs, gentle and careful. He bathes me in silence. Cleans every inch of me like I’m something fragile and precious. His hands shake, but his touch never falters. We don’t talk. Not about what happened. Not about what might come next. Because if we do… something real might break open between us. And I don’t know if I’m ready for it yet. But I want to be. God help me, I think I want all of it.
“I can only deal with one thing at a time,” I say, my voice barely above the splash of water around me. I grip the edge of the tub and stare at my knees, trying not to unravel again. “And right now, the only thing I can handle is Hector.”
Johnny doesn’t say anything at first.
I can feel his eyes on me. He’s not angry, he’s just…. worried. So worried it hurts to look at him.
“I couldn’t let myself fall for you because I was afraid of pissing him off, but now this. I didn’t think it through. All I could think of was saving you. Getting the shoot done. I had some weird tunnel vision that was my desire to help you and be with you, wrapped all in one. ”
He reaches for my hand under the water, warm fingers curling around mine like a lifeline. He leans in, and presses his forehead to mine, “It’s ok. We are ok. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have knotted you. I’ve never lost control like that before.”
I close my eyes, letting his words settle deep into my bones. He lost control for me. The thought makes something hot and fierce bloom in my chest. But the silence breaks too quickly.
A knock, soft, but it might as well be a gunshot in the quiet room.
Johnny’s whole body tenses. “Not now!”
Naomi’s voice muffled through the door comes next.
“Hector’s here. He wants to see you both.”
My stomach plummets like a stone in water. Cold panic rushes up my spine. I look at Johnny. He’s already halfway to his feet, eyes glowing gold. His mouth curls into something feral.
“It’s okay,” he growls. “I’ll slaughter him if I have to. Someone must have let him know about the shoot. Fuck, that’s the one rule I always stuck to; no knotting. I have never lost control like that, but you're my mate. Cass. You’re it for me. I’m sorry for losing control, but I’m not sorry for experiencing that with you. You, baby, look at me. You mean so much to me. I will handle all of this, OK?”
“No,” I say quickly, reaching for his hand. “Let me talk to him. I can fix this. I can convince him it’s fine. We can handle this together, but I need you to stay calm for me.”
He doesn’t like it, not one bit. But he nods and helps me out of the tub, wrapping me in a towel before handing me my clothes. I dress in silence, heart pounding so hard I’m surprised he can’t hear it. We walk hand in hand to Hector’s office. My fingers are trembling in his. But I don’t let go. Hector doesn’t even look up at first when we walk in. He’s sitting behind his desk; flipping through papers like this is any other meeting. Then he looks up, and the smile he wears is anything but warm.
“Sit.”
Johnny starts. “Hector, look..”
“Sit.”
The command slams through the room. Johnny’s entire body is coiled like a spring, and mine is locked in some kind of suspended fear. Hector’s eyes bounce between us, slowly measuring and calculating. We sit on the same couch where all of this started. It’s crazy how much everything has changed since then.
After a pause that feels like eternity, Hector sighs, “Johnny, you know, you really are a pain in my fucking ass.”
Johnny tilts his head like he’s ready to lunge.
I open my mouth. “It was my idea..”
“She didn’t show,” Johnny interrupts. “And we know you needed the shoot,”
“I was prepared,” Hector says, standing now, voice like a blade slicing through the room, “to take your soul, Johnny. Rip it right from your fucking body.”
Tears prick my eyes. Real fear coils in my gut, thick and hot. Hector isn’t just some grimy boss, he’s an actual fucking demon. I don’t even know what he is capable of but I can guarantee I don’t want to find out. Johnny’s claws flash just under his skin. I feel him tensing beside me, ready to shift, to fight, to die if he has to. But then…Hector pauses. He reaches down, pulls a thick filefrom his drawer, and tosses it across the desk. It lands in front of Johnny with a hard slap.
“Your contract is void.”
I blink. “What?”
Johnny frowns, snatching the papers and flipping them open. Highlighted on one of the pages, buried in fine print near the bottom, is a clause that looks like it was written to be missed:
If the contracted were to find his fated mate, all obligations become null and void.
We stare at the words with wide eyes, neither one of us fully comprehending yet what this means. And Hector just smirks like the devil himself. “You not only found your fated mate, but you fucked her on camera on my set and knotted her,” he says, lighting a cigarette. He exhales smoke like a damn dragon. “So congratulations. You’re out. Fired. You get to keep your soul and I get to keep my sanity not having to deal with your bullshit anymore.”
