Page 5 of Coming In Hot
To add insult to injury, I still have to see Pharo almost every fucking day. That bond we shared, the unspoken understanding and trust, he shattered in ways that still feel raw when I think about it.
Every time I look back, it’s as if Pharo’s been chiseling away at my life, carving out pieces of me with each betrayal, each deception. The person I was—before he started taking—feels so far away, like someone I used to know. And now, with his continued deception so clear, forcing me to keep after him, to get close to him to uncover the truth of his lies, it feels like there’s no going back. All that’s left are echoes of who I was, tangled up with the remnants of what he left behind.
I’m not sure what hurts more—what he took or how little he seems to care.
There is no justice in this world. Right and wrong, good and evil, who fucking cares? All that matters to me is my brothers—keeping the ones still alive safe and validating those I’ve lost.
Reaching for the roll of antacids lying on my desk, I break off two and pop them in my mouth, grinding the fruity chalky tablets into a fine powder between my molars. They’re always within reach because just thinking of Pharo makes my stomach churn and my chest burn.
Joey:
Boo
His message pops up on my screen, bursting the bubble of my negative thoughts. I grab my vape off the desk and take a long pull, the scent of coconut and tangerine filling my nostrils as I type out a reply.
Always lurking.
Joey is a bright spot in my dark day. My co-conspirator. If I come across a firewall I can’t breach, Joey finds a way around it. When my head free-falls into a downward spiral, Joey is always lurking, just a keystroke away to boost me up again. Joey is a mystery. I don’t know anything about him except that he’s a hacker like me. His age, his whereabouts, and his former profession are all questions I might never have the answers to.
Joey:
You figure out that secret investor’s identity yet?
Not yet. Was just about to get to work.
Joey:
Bullshit. Quit lying to me and get after it.
I blow out a heavy sigh and chuckle. How does he know I was fucking around? He always knows. I swear to God he’s hacked my WebCam and is spying on me. Hence, the duct tape over the lenses.
It’s not paranoia, it’s a safety precaution. You can never be too careful. I met Joey in a hackers forum online. Located on the dark web, it’s a place where we trade information and resources. Basically, tips on how to breach firewalls. Joey slid into my DM‘s and we connected instantly.
Busting Pharo will have to wait. I have real work to do, paying work, and I need the money because my bike needs a new set of tires.
By the time I finish finding the information I need, the sun has set outside the sliding glass door of my living room. I stand up and stretch my back, twisting from side to side until I hear it crack. Time to figure out dinner. There’s nothing in my fridge except a jar of jelly and some cold cuts.
Damn, I should have joined the Bitches for lunch. At least then I would have some leftovers to eat now. Looks like dinner is going to be another PB&J sandwich. The third one this week.
Not that I mind, I’m not a fancy guy with highfalutin’ taste. Everything in my apartment was bought at a big box store. In fact, the most valuable things I own are my bike and my computers. Going to the Black Mountain Tavern with the guys is my idea of a night out on the town. If I’m invited somewhere and I can’t wear jeans and a T-shirt, I’m not going.
For years in the Army, I lived out of a footlocker and a rucksack. To this day, I still keep a go bag packed and ready in my closet in case of an emergency.
I don’t just travel light, Ilivelight.
My buddy McCormick has this firebox analogy. According to him, if your house were on fire, you should be able to fit everything worth taking in a single box. Shit, I can fit everything worth taking in the pocket of my jeans. Basically, just my bike keys and the memory stick from my computer. Everything else can burn to the ground for all I care. None of it holds sentimental value to me. I carry my memories in my head and my heart so they can travel with me wherever I go. I can never lose them, and no one can ever take them from me.
They are a necessary part of me, like a vital organ. The anger I feel over Jordan's death keeps me going each day. It gives me purpose, a reason to wake up and keep fighting.
A reason to start each new day despising Pharo’s existence.
Every time I see his stupid, perfect face smiling, laughing, living life like he doesn’t have a care in the world, it fuels my anger and keeps me going.
His time will come. One of these days, I'll make sure Pharo pays for what he did.
CHAPTER3
JAX
