Page 69 of Coming In Hot
What the fuck is it about this guy? Why can’t I just walk away once and for all?
“I didn’t leave you, Jax,” he says quietly, his hand still hovering in the space between us like he’s unsure whether to reach out again. “I never wanted to leave you. I don’t know what you think I did, or what changed since I last saw you, but nothing’s changed for me. I didn’t do anything to hurt you.”
I shake my head, the accusation feeling like sandpaper against my tongue. “But you did. You chose to walk away. Accept the job promotion full-time. You made that choice. And now I’m left here trying to figure out what the hell to do with all the crap you left behind.”
I want to step back. I want to leave. I want to walk away from this and never look back, but I can’t. Not when he’s standing there, gazing at me like he cares. Like maybe this mess hasn’t been just mine to deal with.
Pharo appears shocked. “How’d you find out about that?” He shakes his head, scrubbing rain from his face. “You know what? It doesn't matter. I shouldn’t be surprised. But you got it wrong. I didn’t take the job. I turned it down.”
Now it’s my turn to be shocked. “You did?”
He doesn’t say anything at first. Just stands there, close enough for me to feel the heat radiating off him, but far enough that it still feels like there’s a gulf between us.
Pharo steps closer, his presence dominating the space between us. The rain continues to pour, but I can’t seem to focus on anything other than the fact that he’s standing in front of me, his eyes darker than the storm swirling above.
“Yeah,” he mutters, his voice rough from the storm and something else—something like frustration. “I turned it down.” His jaw clenches, and he runs a hand through his wet hair. “I thought about it, you know? But... it wasn’t the right move. Not for me.”
I stand frozen for a moment, reality not quite sinking in. This whole time, I’d been convinced he was leaving—thinking he had already made his decision. That the job overseas was the thing that was gonna tear us apart, that I was losing him for good.
“God,” I mutter, taking a step back, shaking my head, trying to process this. “I’ve been acting like a fucking idiot, haven’t I?”
“Common sense isn’t a flower that grows in everyone’s garden,” he teases with a smirk that I shouldn’t find sexy, considering I very recently wanted to yeet him over the side of the mountain. “It’s not just you, Jax,” he says quietly. “I’ve been... I’ve been a mess too. I didn’t want to drag you into anything with my job. But I’ve realized that maybe I’m already too deep with you. I can’t walk away, and I hate you just a little for making me care.”
He cares? How much, I wonder. “Not everything’s about you, Pharo.”
He grins, that damn knowing grin that gets under my skin. “Sure it is. You’re just pretending it’s not.”
I want to smack that grin off his face, but I know better. That’ll only make him want me more. Instead, I breathe out a long, controlled sigh, doing my best to keep the walls up.
“So,” I say, my voice barely a whisper now, “what does that mean for us? Are you... Are you staying?”
Pharo stares at me for a long moment, like he’s trying to make a decision in real time. His lips part slightly, but he doesn’t speak. It’s as if he’s weighing every possible answer, trying to figure out if he can say the right thing this time.
Finally, he steps closer again, and I feel the heat of his body even through the cold rain. “It means I’m still here, Jax. And maybe... I’m ready to figure this out. All of it.”
Whatever happens next, I know we’re facing it together. Pharo’s proving that to me. I have to take a leap of faith and meet him halfway. “Tell the truth, did you stay because you want to pursue the garage dream?”
“The garage isn’t the only dream I want to pursue, Jax.” He ghosts his wet lips over mine, just a breath. “You gonna let me fuck you again?”
“Right now?” I ask, knowing that’s not what he meant.
“Whenever. Wherever. I always want you, Jaxy.”
“No,” I correct, nipping his bottom lip as punishment. “I said we’re not doing that.”
I hate his grin.
I hate the twinkle in his gorgeous eyes.
I hate that he thinks he’s got me right where he wants me.
And I hate that he knows I’d fuck him right here, right now, without hesitation.
His blunt nails dig into my jaw as he takes hold of me, pulling me close. His warm breath puffs in a cloud over my lips, and all around us, the rain continues to fall, soaking us to the bone.
“You’re always gonna hate me a little bit, aren’t you?” Pharo asks with a hint of amusement.
“Thought you said it makes the sex better.”
