Page 14 of Hodge
“What does that mean? Of course you do. Mistakes are just that, Hodge. We can’t fix most of them, but we can do better.”
“What if we can’t? What if we can’t do better?”
“We can always do better. That’s the beauty of life, Hodge. If we don’t like something, we can change it. If we fuck something up, we have the power to make it right.”
“That might be true for you, but we aren’t the same, Kemah. And I don’t think I’d want to be just a normal man,” I admit to her. This is my life, the club, and the things we do. It’s all a part of who I am.
“Then don’t be. There’s no reason you should change who you are.” I nod my head before I pull out a cigarette and light itup. Kemah doesn’t say anything, just watches me. The door to the kitchen opens, and one of the club girls walks in. She looks between us but then moves directly toward me. She throws her arms around my waist and cuddles into my side.
“Having a good time?” she asks as she peers up at me, licking her lips.
“Yeah, I am. What about you?”
“It’s a little boring for me. The guys are all busy,” she purrs, and I know what she wants.
“I’m going to go,” Kemah announces. She starts to stand from her stool when a low growl falls from my throat.
“Sit down,” I demand.
“I need to go. It’s late,” she argues as she moves toward the door.
“I said, sit down!” I roar louder this time. When Kemah turns to look at me, I can see the heat in her eyes. Fuck, she likes this. She likes it when I tell her what to do. Kemah walks back over and sits down on the stool when I shove Lynn off me. She takes the hint and leaves the room as I stalk toward Kemah.
Our eyes are locked in a heated stare as I lift my hand to her cheek, cupping it, and then I lower my lips to hers and kiss her. I kiss her hard and rough. I kiss her until neither of us can breathe. And then I don’t stop. I keep going, pressing myself against her body until she can feel my fucking hard cock pressed against her. This woman is doing things to me. Things I haven’t felt in a long time, and it’s a little unnerving for me.
I pull away, and Kemah stares up at me, confused by what’s happening. She shakes her head, and then she stands, rushingfrom the room, and I let her go. I don’t know why, but I fucking let her go.
She doesn’t deserve this life. She doesn’t deserve to be a part of what I do, just like her. The ghost of my past didn’t deserve this life either, yet I forced it on her. I made her into this. I pushed her to her death. I pushed her until there was nothing left to push, and then that was it. That was the end of it.
I bring the cigarette back to my lips and inhale the nicotine into my lungs as I close my eyes and try to drown out the images of her lying there in a mangled mess. It doesn’t do any good. That’s the only image I’ll ever see.
Chapter 8
Kemah
Jake’s here when I walk in the house, anger painting his features. As soon as the door closes, his eyes meet mine, and I know I’m in trouble.
“You want to tell me who the hell you were with?”
“No one.”
“That was not no one who answered your phone! It was a fucking man, Kemah! Who the fuck was it? That dirty ass biker?” He sneers at me. I huff out a breath, but I don’t bother saying no. I’m not going to stand here and lie to him. But then he looks at me, and laughter bubbles out of his throat. He actually stands there laughing at me.
“What’s so funny?”
“You think he likes you. That’s what’s so funny,” he laughs.
“What do you mean?”
“That’s why you went there looking for him. You actually think he likes you,” he continues to laugh.
“No, I don’t.”
“Yeah, you do. How stupid can you be, Kemah? I mean, come the fuck on! Look at you! Your father has to pay me to be with you.” The laughter doesn’t stop, and now I feel the tears prickle the back of my eyes.
“Fuck you, Jake.”
“Yeah, you’d like that. Did biker boy not want to see you naked?” He continues to throw jabs at me, but I keep my head held high. I don’t think I’m an ugly girl. In fact, for the most part, I think I’m pretty, to a point.
