Page 2 of Hodge
I watch the girls, mainly my sister, as she smiles and moves through the room. I like seeing her like this. Happy for a change. Not that our lives were shit, they weren’t, at least mine wasn’t. Our mom, on the other hand, really gave Kiki hell, and it showed for a long time. Now though? She has Locke at her side, just like she has the rest of us. And maybe that’s what I need. I need my family on my side. I know they are in the back of my mind, but they want me to move on and get over this shit.
To me, it’s not that easy. How do you walk away from something like that? Something you blame yourself for? How do you move on like it didn’t happen? For me, it’s not that easy. For them, it may be.
I tip my head back and close my eyes, trying to drown out her face, the tears, the bruises. I try to drown out everything about her, but it doesn't do any good.
Chapter 2
Kemah
I watch him closely as he walks through the room with a glass in his hand. He moves toward the kitchen, and I know exactly what he’s after. More liquor. Just what he doesn’t need.
I debate getting up and leaving the room, but I know that would only anger him more, so I stay in my seat, flipping through the pages of my magazine.
Jake comes back, his glass full as he sits across the room and stares at me. I pretend not to notice him at first, but I know that will also piss him off.
“How’s Phil?” I ask, trying to make light conversation.
“He’s fine. Julie had the baby a week ago.”
“She did? Boy or girl?” I ask, looking up at him now. If I can keep him talking long enough, he’ll eventually drink until he passes out, and I can go to bed peacefully.
“Boy. Named him Phil junior,” he says, sounding put off by the name.
“You don’t like the name?”
“I don’t think any child should be a junior. It makes no sense to me. They don’t need the same name to carry on a last name.” He rolls his eyes.
“That makes sense.”
“What did you do today?”
“I had lunch with Valerie. She wants to meet up with you sometime soon,” I tell him. He chuckles.
“I can’t stand that little cunt.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s boring, Kemah. She talks too much about herself and nothing of importance.”
“I don’t mind her that much,” I say before looking back down at my magazine.
“Wasn’t she your friend in college?”
“Yeah, she was.”
“And you actually liked being around her?” I know what he’s trying to do, and that’s get under my skin. He’s trying to start a fight, and I won’t give him the satisfaction of doing that.
“I didn’t mind her. She wasn’t like this back then. I think it’s more John than anything.”
“You think her husband makes her this way? Typical woman,” he huffs out a breath.
“You don’t think a man can make a woman think differently about herself?” I ask, looking back up at him. He should know. He does it to me all the fucking time. He makes me feel less than, just as he always does.
“If a man can make a woman think differently about herself, then she isn’t with the right man.” Point made. I know I’m not with the right man. I’ve known for a long time, but I’ve no choice in the matter.
“Men say things, make women feel a certain way. If she isn’t appreciated, she can feel it.”
“Then you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” he hisses in my direction. I nearly roll my eyes, but I figured that would just piss him off a little more, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid.
