Page 40 of Hodge
“I wouldn’t go against the club, Dad.”
“So if I say no?” Fuck me. He would ask that. He would ask just how far I’m willing to go for her, and without thinking about it, I blurt it out.
“I’d leave the club.”
Chapter 18
Kemah
“Oh, come on. You gotta believe in soul mates,” Duke says as we pass the bottle of Jack back and forth between us. It’s freezing outside, but the Jack is keeping us both warm as the snow swirls in the sky and slowly falls around us.
“No, I don’t. I thought I did at one point, but not anymore.”
“Why not? Hodge hurt you?” I shake my head. Hodge didn’t hurt me. Hodge did what he thought was right. It was I who hurt me. I let myself believe he felt something for me, even when he didn’t, and that was all my fault.
“No. There’s been an issue with every man I’ve ever been with, which isn’t many.”
“You just haven’t found him then, Kemah.”
“What do you mean?”
“It means he’s still out there. My momma always said there was someone for everyone out there. You just gotta find them. And the road to findin’ them isn’t an easy one. It’s not a walk in the park, but it’s worth it.”
“I don’t know about that. I haven’t seen anything worth looking for,” I add.
“Really? You haven’t been lookin’ then, Kemah,” he says, raising his hand and resting it on my cheek. Before I know what’s happening, Duke leans in and presses his lips to mine. I want to savor his kiss, but it doesn’t feel right. Yet, in the back of my mind, I keep telling myself that Hodge doesn’t want me or careabout me the way I thought he did. So I give in and kiss him back.
The wind blows around us, and I can faintly smell cigarette smoke in the air, but I keep my focus on Duke instead. His tongue slips into my mouth and dances with my own. His hand slides around and cups the back of my neck, keeping me pressed to him. I’m nearly breathless when he pulls back and smiles at me.
“Wanna go inside?” I should say no. Tell him I’m not ready for this, but what the hell’s the difference? Maybe everyone is right. Maybe I need to move on. So I nod my head, and he stands, grabbing my hand and tugging me along with him.
We make our way back inside when his hand slides down to my lower back as he leads me toward the hallway.
“You’re gonna take your fuckin’ hands off her.” I hear the growl, and it sends a chill down my spine. I instantly stop walking, and my heart begins to hammer in my chest. Duke stops when I stop and turns his head to look over his shoulder before huffing out a breath. “I said, take your fuckin’ hands off her.”
“I don’t think you’re in any position to tell me what the fuck to do,” Duke tells him. I stand still. So fucking still. My chest rises and falls rapidly as a tear slides down my cheek.
“You don’t think so? We can take this shit outside.”
“She don’t belong to you, brother. Last I heard, you sent her away,” Duke tells him as Dezzy comes rushing toward me. I feel like I can’t breathe, like I can’t get enough air into my lungs. Her hands reach up and grip my face, forcing me to look at her.
“Hey. It’s okay. You want to go to my room?” I start to nod when I hear him speak once more.
“Kemah, I’m sorry.” My lips part as another tear falls down my cheek. Dezzy steps back, giving me a little space before I slowly turn to face him.
“You … you embarrassed me in front of everyone. You branded me and then sent me away, Hodge!”
“I know what I did, baby. I know I fucked up, but we need to talk.”
“No. We don’t.” With that, I spin back around, grabbing Duke’s hand and heading for the hallway once more, even though there’s an ache in my chest. We don’t make it far. Duke is ripped away from me and slammed against the wall. Punches and grunts follow as I spin to see what’s happening. My stomach cramps as I see Hodge punch Duke in the face.
“Hodge!” I scream, but it does no good. He swings once more when some of the others break them up. Griz is hollering, and there is complete chaos when Duke comes back toward me. I don’t want to be in the middle of them fighting. I can’t do this. I pull back just as Hodge turns to face me.
“I fucked up, Kemah. And I’m gonna keep fuckin’ up. Because that’s what I do!”
“Then that’s on you, Hodge. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
“I ruined them, Kemah. You know that.”
