Page 48 of Hodge
“I don’t know yet. I want her here, I want her to stay. I want her here when I get back from a run or just havin’ a shit night. I like her bein’ here.”
“Even for Christmas?”
“Even more for Christmas.” My dad reaches over and slaps a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it.
“I’m glad to hear that, Hodge. She seems like a good one.”
“I think so too. She makes me feel shit I haven’t felt in a long time,” I admit. He nods his head before grabbing his beer andbringing it to his lips. I grab the pack of cigarettes and shake one out, bringing it to my lips and lighting it when Kemah walks over and sits down.
“You good?” My dad asks her.
“Yeah. Shouldn’t I be?”
“Yeah, you should be. You have my son, this club. What more could you want?”
“You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t see it before.”
“As long as you do, now that’s all that matters,” he tells her. She smiles and nods her head before he stands and leaves us alone.
“Two days.”
“What?” she asks.
“Two days, Kemah. We’re goin’ after your dad in two days,” I tell her. I watch her shift in her seat, and I know this all makes her uncomfortable, but it has to be done, and it’s going to be done by me.
“Are you sure you have to do this?”
“We’ve been over this.”
“I know! I know,” she says as I look up at her.
“It’s okay. To feel somethin’. Anything.”
“Is it weird I don’t know what to feel?”
“No. He hurt you. He gave you away,” I tell her.
“Doesn’t make me feel any differently. I mean, I feel like I should feel badly, but I don’t really.”
“He hurt you. There’s no reason for you to give a shit, Kemah.”
“He’s … he’s my dad.”
“No. He’s a piece of shit sperm donor. That’s it. That’s all he’ll ever be. A dad doesn’t hurt you. A dad doesn’t sell you out for money. He doesn’t turn his back on his child.” Anger races through my veins just because she thinks she has to care about that bastard. She doesn’t. And she’ll never have to worry about him again when this is over.
“And my mom?”
“What about the bitch?”
“She wasn’t as bad as him.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kemah! She didn’t want you either!” I roar this time.
“Fuck you,” she seethes.
“No. You’re not walkin’ away!” I scream louder when she stands and tries to walk away from me. Just as quickly as she tries to leave, she stops. She turns to look at me, and that’s when I see the hurt in her eyes.
“You know who wants you, Kemah? You know who would never turn their back on you or fuck you over for money?” I ask as I stand up and walk closer to her. I see the tears in her eyes, and I know she understands this. “Me, darlin’. Me. I fuckin’ care about you. I’m the one who won’t walk away from you. I’m the one who won’t sell you out for fuckin’ money.” Now the tears fall down her cheeks, and it breaks my heart.
