Page 51 of Hodge
“Meaning what?”
“Meanin’ we need a break. We need to be left alone to deal with our bullshit on our own,” Locke says as I glance over at him before dragging my gaze back to meet Hodge’s.
“I’ll leave you alone. I get it.” He reaches out and rubs his hands up and down my arms as he looks me in the eye.
“I’ve never had anyone here when I got back, Kemah. I don’t … I honestly don’t know how I’ll act.”
“I get it. I’ll stay out of your way,” I tell him. He nods his head before leaning in and kissing me once again, but this time, he doesn’t pull away; he keeps me tucked into his arms. I hear Kiki and Locke leave the room, but Hodge just keeps me wrapped up in him, and to be honest, I wouldn’t mind staying here forever.
After what seems like hours, he pulls away and sighs.
“I hate that I have to leave you like this.”
“I’ll be fine, Hodge.”
“I know you will, it’s just all new to you.”
“And I’m doing fine. At least I think I am.”
“Yeah, you are. You’re doin’ great, baby. If you need anything, find one of the girls.” I nod my head as I watch him walk away and move around the room. He pulls out a hoodie and then pulls his cut off before sliding the hoodie on. Then the cut goes right back on. He grabs a baseball hat I’ve never seen him wear and places it on his head backward, and damn, does he look good like that.
“You eyein’ me?” I smile now.
“How could I not? I’ve never seen you in a hat before,” I tell him.
“You like it?”
“I more than like it.” Now he chuckles and turns to look at me, smiling like I hung the fucking moon.
“I’ll keep it on next time I fuck you,” he promises, causing my heart to kick up a notch. Hodge finishes grabbing his things, stuffing a gun into the back of his jeans, before grabbing a knife and sliding it into his back pocket.
“Is all that needed?”
“You never know who’s out there waitin’ for you. It’s just better to be cautious.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I’m always right, baby.” He smiles at me, and it takes my breath away. Hodge walks over and kisses me roughly once more.
“I need to go.”
“I know,” I tell him as he holds me against him like he doesn’t want to let me go. And if I had the choice, I wouldn’t let him. Nevertheless, I hold onto him for as long as I can before he pulls back, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Okay. Be careful.”
“Always, baby. Always.” I watch him as he pulls away from me and turns, leaving the room. I sigh before walking over and dropping onto the bed, running my hand through my hair. I’ve never had someone I wanted to come home. I didn’t think I’d ever have that. Jake was useless. He wasn’t something I ever gave a shit about and never will.
I lay down on the bed and close my eyes, praying I can get some sleep without him here. Everything weighs heavily on me right now, including that brand on my ass.
When I finally fall asleep, the dreams come. The things that happened to me, the things that could have happened to me. It makes me uneasy, even in sleep.
I wake up in a cold sweat, my hair sticking to my skin as I suck in much-needed air. The room is dark now, and I climb out of bed, heading straight to the bathroom. I flip the light on and look at myself in the mirror. Some days, I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know who I should be. And maybe that’s for the best.
The money still lingers in the back of my mind, but Hodge is in the forefront. He’s given me everything. He is everything. With him, I don’t need money. I don’t need my family because he gave me one. One so big and so caring, I could never repay them.
With a sigh, I strip out of my clothes, turn on the shower, and climb in, washing away the nightmare that plagued my sleep.
