Page 54 of Hodge
“That’s because you don’t need to say anything. Jake isn’t dead yet. I don’t know where he is,” I tell her as she looks at the blood on me once more. It takes her a minute, but then she realizes what I did. A gasp falls from her lips as she takes a step back.
“You … them …” I smirk.
“This blood on my face was from watchin’ your mom bleed out after I slit her throat.”
“Wha … No.”
“Yeah, sweetheart. I told you I was gonna make them pay for what they did to you.” Kemah watches me intently, unsure what to say, and I get it. What do you say to someone who just murdered your family? Tears fill her eyes, and I laugh. I actually fucking laugh at her. “No tears, Kemah! They used you!”
“I know they did,” she whispers.
“And your dad? He’s not even your dad. What a fuckin’ joke that was.”
“What? What do you mean? The money … his grandfather …” She says, sounding confused.
“Your mom was a whore, Kemah. She was fuckin’ your grandfather. That money was never yours. It was hers.”
“They lied about it? They lied about the money?”
“Fuck the money, Kemah! What the fuck is it with you and the goddamn money?” I yell loudly. I’m sick of it. The fucking money means nothing, so why doesn’t she understand this? Before I can think better of it, I reach up and grab her around the throat and squeeze. Her eyes widen as she looks at me, and someone’s hand lands on my shoulder.
“Fuck the money, Kemah. The money means shit. This, us? This is it. This is all you fuckin’ need, and from now on, this is all you’ll have. There’s no fuckin’ amount of money that’s ever gonna change that. You got me?” She doesn’t say anything, just stares at me.
“Let her go, Hodge. You said what you needed to say,” Remy says.
“Have I?”
“Yeah, brother. You have. Let her go. This has been a crazy night, and we don’t want it to get crazier,” he tells me. I’m not ready to let her go. I don’t think I ever will be.
But I do it. I let her go. I release the hold on her neck and watch as she steps back, a little unsure of what to do now. There’s nothing to do. This is it. This is us.
Chapter 24
Kemah
I’ve kept my distance from Hodge. I don’t know what to feel, what to say, what to do. It’s all so much. So consuming. There’s a part of me that wants to hate him for what he did. There’s a part of me that wants to hug him and thank him, but that would be sick, wouldn’t it? He killed them in cold blood. What kind of man, person even, does that?
I lean back against the couch and watch him as he moves through the room, talking and drinking. He stayed away from me that night. He didn’t sleep in the bed with me, and Kiki said it was because he was afraid he’d do something stupid.
Yet, I can’t help but feel the pull to him. Although torn on my feelings, Hodge has made his perfectly clear to me. I’m not going anywhere, according to him. Not that I really wanted to, but that ugly little voice in the back of my mind tells me I can’t stay with a man like him.
“I know what you’re thinkin’,” Locke says.
“I doubt that.”
“You’re thinkin’ that you can’t love a man like Hodge.”
“He killed them, Locke. He’s going to kill again,” I remind him.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he agrees, nodding his head. “But he’s doin’ it for a reason. What they did to you was unforgivable, Kemah. You didn’t deserve that.”
“But death is so final. There’s no coming back from that.”
“No, there isn’t. And that’s the point, yeah? They can’t hurt you again. Ever.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel here,” I confess as I watch Hodge walk past like we’re not even sitting here and go down the hall.
“No one can tell you that either, Kemah. That’s somethin’ you have to decide for yourself. What Hodge did, he did it for you. He did it because he cares about you, darlin’. He wants what’s best for you, and he doesn’t want you to be hurt again. You gotta think about it from his side too.”
