I know how to kill, and I know how to fuck, and none of that is what she needs.
What the fuck have I done?
I toss the towel aside, dropping down atop my bed and letting my head fall back onto the pillows. I close my eyes, exhaustion washing over me, and as I fall asleep, all I see is Sienna’s face, her mouth fallen open with pleasure as she came for me for the first time.
When I wake up, it’s later than usual, after eight in the morning. I’m rock hard, painfully stiff, and I groan through my teeth. I swear I can still fucking smell the scent of her arousal in the air.
Before I can stop myself, I’m reaching for the pair of panties that I tore off of her last night, still lying on the bed where I tossed them. I wrap them around my hand, pressing the silk against the heated flesh of my cock, and sit up, reaching for my laptop.
Just one more time. I’ll watch her come for me one more time, and then never again.
13
SIENNA
Ican’t stop thinking about last night.
I always assumed I couldn’t come for someone else. I didn’t even think I could really come by myself. I’ve had an orgasm a few times before, when I had a vibrator to use in my videos, but I couldn’t replicate the sensation with just my fingers, and I couldn’t afford a luxury like a sex toy. But Damian’s hand undid me faster than I’ve ever come in my life, last night.
And the way helooked.God. I’ve never seen a man so gorgeous. He’s intimidating—terrifying, really—but I’ve never seen a naked man who looked like that up close, in person.
He looked like a sculpture, like he’d been carved from stone, all chiseled muscle and broad shoulders and chest, his tattoos covering swaths of his skin from his neck all the way down the sides of his thighs. I could spend hours in bed just tracing them with my fingers, I think, looking at all the patterns until he was ready to go again.
And it didn’t seem to take him long. He was hard again minutes after I finished him off.
A shudder ripples through me as I remember how it felt when he came, part arousal, part fear. He’shuge, bigger than I’ve ever seen, except for those men at the warehouse that night. His cock is that big,something to be afraid of rather than want, but I can’t help wondering what it would feel like inside of me. If his finger felt that good…
I showered after I got back to my room, washing off the traces of his cum that soaked through the nightgown. It had felt so good when it happened, feeling him throb in my hand, the heat of his release soaking through to my skin, the sound of his groans filling the air. I felt beautiful… powerful. Damian is a brutal and terrifying man, but I made him come undone.
Part of me wants it to happen again, regardless of what he said. Even though, there at the end…
You’ve done enough.
I felt ashamed when he said that. I came to his room because I felt sure that I needed to, that I needed to find some way to please him in return for all that he’s done, but it felt like something else, when it happened. Him touching me felt like something else, like something more.
And then he said that, and I was reminded of what my situation is. Of how much I owe him.
I feel like he woke something up in me last night. Something I didn’t know was there. Every time I close my eyes, I feel Damian's hands on my body, his fingers inside me, the way he made me come apart completely. I've never experienced anything like that—the intensity, the pleasure, the way my entire world narrowed down to just his touch and the sensations he was creating.
I want to talk to him about it. To find out why we can’t justdothis, why he can’t teach me everything I’ve been missing while I give him the pleasure he so clearly wants. We’re married, and I don’t know why he keeps insisting that it’s so wrong. He could throw me out if he wanted, put me in a terrible position, but how is that different from any other relationship where one person makes more money, or has their name on the apartment, or anything else?
I want to feel that pleasure again. I want to feel beautiful and powerful and sexy, in a way that I never felt at the club. I want to know what else there is. And after last night, I don’t really think he’llhurt me any longer. I think he wants me, and he’s afraid he’ll hurt me, but I’m stronger than he realizes.
It’s fairly early in the morning still, and Adam’s still sleeping. I pull on the new lace-edged robe I bought yesterday, over the silky sleep shorts and cami that I wore to bed after taking off the cum-soaked nightie, and push my door open, glancing out into the hall to see that it’s empty before padding toward Damian’s bedroom.
He’s probably already gone. But maybe…
I stop dead in my tracks as I hear a muffled groan from the other side of the door.Is he…
A strange, warm, excited feeling pools in my stomach as the curiosity becomes too much for me. I reach for his doorknob, my pulse leaping when I realize he didn’t lock it last night, and I slowly push it open just a crack, hoping he won’t notice.
What I see when I look inside has my pulse fluttering in my throat, racing as I take in the sight in front of me.
Damian is half-sitting up in bed, his cock in his hand, stiff and glistening as he strokes it. And on the laptop in front of him…
My heart stops when I recognize myself on the screen.
It's one of my videos from the club—one of the solo performances I did for the cam site. I'm wearing red lingerie, bent over a desk, holding onto the side of it with my back arched and my legs spread as I reach between my thighs and finger myself.