Page 67 of Shameless
I was tense, which had nothing to do with how panic had sent me to a hospital the previous week. I swallowed then said, “It’s more than something. I’ve loved you for a while now, but I didn’t see it.”
His head rose. “You’ve loved me?”
I had butterflies in my stomach. He’d said he loved me, but I’d been so frozen.
I swallowed and said, “I love you, even now. How could I not? You’re sweet. I was so scared of the changes my life needed to make, and I hate bending, so I ran and lied to you.”
“It’s okay, though. We both know you’re quite bendy.”
“No joking right now.” I swiped my face because I hated tears, but they were coming all the time. “I pretend to be tough so I don’t look weak, but… when I realized you had no idea how much I was faking my life… sheer panic sent me to the hospital in pain. I… was wrong to use that moment… as a reason to run. I’ve not slept… I’ve not eaten well… I’ve been a complete mess because…”
He was closer, making my skin buzz at his nearness. “Because?”
I nodded. “Because I didn’t want to admit to you or myself and be weak or vulnerable because I have feelings.”
He let out a small laugh. “You’re the opposite of that.”
I sat straighter and pressed a hand to my heart. “I was a fucking coward, and you shouldn’t forgive me. I was so scared of changing that I… that I hurt you.”
He offered to hold my hand and said, “Well, if you love me and promise to keep our marriage vows, live with me—forever—and we raise our children together to love and trust each other without telling our son or daughter that I assumed the worst without confronting the truth… then I suppose we can sweep what happened under the rug.”
I laughed, and more tears washed down my face. “Seriously? You are steadfast, the calm in the storm.”
“That’s too much.”
“No arguing with the pregnant woman.”
He kissed my wet cheek. “Of course, darling.”
He made life sound amazing. I pressed my leg into him, and his nearness sent a shockwave through me.
I took his hand and said, “We need to promise one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
I met his gaze and refused to blink. This was important. “We can never lie or avoid or omit any truths. It’s time we always tell the truth.”
He nodded as he pressed his lips together. I wasn’t sure what he would say.
“Fair enough,” he said. “In a completely different conversation we need to have, I am hoping you will help manage the funds for our children and for us.”
My eyes widened. I’d never imagined working for my children, but the idea was good. I was good at reading the market.
“Are you serious?” My heart pounded as I finally realized I had some useful skills.
“You had clients as a financial advisor, and I think this child will need your assistance and devotion.”
I almost jumped then quickly nodded. “I’ll help. Actually, I wouldn’t mind starting my own firm to help other people manage their funds instead of working to make partner.”
He caressed my cheek. “I do know some friends who already own a business like that. They’d probably want you on their team.”
I narrowed my gaze and asked, “The Norouzis?”
He nodded and raised my hand to kiss the back of it. “I’d hate to compete with the people who gave me everything, but I’m sure they’d need a partner.”
Right. I needed to stop trying to control everything. I preferred being in a partnership anyway. I quickly said, “I’m willing to compromise. It’s time to start listening as I can’t do everything on my own.”
“I love you,” he said. “And I shouldn’t have shot down your dream. If you want to compete, I’ll be there for you.”
