Page 48 of The Jilted Lovers Club
The corner of his mouth turns up. “You know.”
Yeah, I know.
I didn’t think I had it in me to love a child, not after what happened. But here I am, my heart out of my chest for this little girl. Even with our rough morning, I know I’d do anything for her.
Maybe kids aren’t so scary after all.
Broody Silent Farm Boy Thing
Ashton
You know.
No, she doesn’t know. She has no fucking clue.
But I do.
Watching Jordy fall in love with my child has shattered me in the most unexpected way. Honestly, it’s like I’d been blastedapart, and I have no idea how to put myself back together. I’m falling for her, fast and hard. It’s safe to say I’ve never felt this way before. Not for Sasha. Not for anyone.
But for Jordy, I suddenly have this image of her inourhome,ourbed, her stuff inourcloset. Fucking her slowly every night, and waking up to her every morning.
I want it all.
It’s not just about wanting her body—though god knows I do. It was the way Lottie nestled under her chin as we stood near the cows, how Jordy brushed her hand over my daughter’s back, protecting her from the world, how carefully she carried her to her room at naptime.
And the look on her face as she closed the door.
Pure love.
Fuck, if I don’t feel it too.
I think about this the whole drive into town. I wanted nothing more than to stay back at the house with Jordy. But I knew if I did, there was nothing stopping me from rushing across that room and pressing her against a wall as I tasted every inch of her.
I had to leave.
And here in my truck, I feel every single breath in my lungs as I try to stop obsessing about her.
And fail.
Is it real? Or am I just grateful to her?
No, it’s so much deeper, and I’m running out of reasons to put on the brakes.
I manage to pull myself together once I reach the feed store. Jordy is still on my mind—that woman is always on my mind—but I’m able to at least put one foot in front of the other as I order the supplements we’re running low on.
“How’s that little girl of yours,” Paul asks as he fills the order. “You should bring her by next week. We have some eggs about to hatch, and I think she’d get a kick out of all the chicks.”
“Oh, I know she would,” I say. But in my head, I’m thinking how Jordy would love that too. Has she ever held a baby chick before? It might freak her out, but maybe she’d get a kick out of it.
Pull it together, Ashton.
“Next week, you say? I’ll bring her by.”
I put the supplies in the truck, but I don’t want to go home yet. I don’t trust myself, not yet at least. Besides, Jordy probably wants a little more time with Lottie before I take over.
At least, that’s what I tell myself. My head feels screwed on sideways, and I’m unsure what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing right now.
Figuring coffee might help, I slip into Java Joe’s and order a drip. Then I find a table in the back away from the noise, just so I can sit in silence and wait until my mind feels clear again.
