Page 74 of The Jilted Lovers Club
We sink to the ground, tangled in each other. I drop to my knees, needing to be closer, needing to hold her like I’ll never have to let go. She straddles me, her hands running over the back of my head as our mouths search each other. When she breathes, I breathe. Soon we still, soft breaths shared between us, every curve of her body folded into mine. When we finally find the strength to break apart, she rests her forehead against mine.
“I don’t want this to end,” she says, “but it has to. I can’t stay, and I can’t stand the thought of a whole country between us while I fall in love with you. I can’t be on hold like that. Because what happens next? Either I give up my dream, or you give up yours, and we can’t ask that of each other. It’s not fair.”
“I could figure it out,” I say, even knowing it will be near impossible. “Maybe Lottie and I could try out New York, and—”
“And what? Keep Bec and Bob from her?” Jordy slips off my lap, then sits next to me.
“We’ll arrange visits. When she gets older, she can stay summers here…” I trail off.
“Is that really what you’d want?” she asks softly. “To give up this farm, the Felixes, all of Lahoma Springs in favor of car horns and crowded streets?”
I want to say yes. God, I want to. But when she puts it like that, I know I can’t. As much as I want to be with Jordy, I know I can’t leave this place.
I hang my head. “It’s funny. Two years ago, I was the stranger here. Now, I don’t think I’ve ever known any place that felt more like home.” I peek at her. “I get it. I hate it, but I get it.”
She folds her hands into mine. “I’ve been avoiding this conversation for a while now.”
I smirk, squeezing her hand. “Me too.” Taking a deep breath in and stand, pulling her to her feet with me.
“Now what?”
“Now? We stop stalling on this ranch work, and then go see what Bec’s fixed us for lunch.”
I roll my eyes, then tug her to my side. “No, I mean about us.”
“There’s now,” she says. “Let’s not think about tomorrow or the next day. Let’s just live in the present moment as if it won’t ever end.”
Lottie is thrilled to see us both when we enter the house. She drops her toys and runs at me, barreling into my legs. Then she does the same to Jordy, which makes her laugh as she sets down the basket of eggs we collected so she can catch my rambunctious daughter.
“She’s been a bundle of energy all morning,” Bec says from the kitchen.
“Sorry. I should take her out to run a few laps.”
We all enter the kitchen, where Bec is already plating BLTs for each of us. Bob sits at the kitchen island, a half eaten sandwich in one hand and the newspaper in front of him. He nods at us, then looks at me.
“A fox got one of the hens last night,” he says.
I groan. I repaired a breach in the fence just yesterday, which means they’re finding a new way in.
“Just one?”
He nods. “This time, yeah. I think I found the entry point on the south end of the fencing. One of the hens must not have gotten in before the coop doors shut—served up a nice snack for that fox.”
“How awful!” Jordy covers her mouth. When we gathered eggs earlier, she’d been so taken by the chickens who followed us everywhere. The rooster watched us with wary eyes, but the hens had eagerly chased us down, hoping for treats we didn’t have.
“It happens,” Bob says simply.
“God, farm life is brutal.” Jordy sips the coffee Bec placed in front of her. “Mmm. Thanks, Bec.”
“Well, luckily you’ve only got a few more days of this brutal country life, right?”
Jordy catches my eye, and I immediately regret my words. I’d meant it as a joke—but it landed like a jab.
“That’s not … I mean…”
“It’s fine,” she says.
It’s not. Not for either of us, and now I’ve probably pissed her off.
