Page 59 of Love & Monsters
Deep within the Bone Valley, I would make my last stand against my bastard brother. Once I severed his head from his body, I could return to my throne. That was only if I survived. For Mina’s sake, I had to.
Thirty-Three
Walking down the long corridors of the fortress, I nodded at servants and other Nefellim hiding away from the war. Woman, men, children, and the elderly. Every other day a few more would show up for sanctuary after coming across Vadric’s army. Sometimes they would have brief messages with them that vaguely told us about the current state of the war.
Every line that spoke of minor battles along the way terrified me. Knowing that weeks had passed since he left. I never knew if one day I’d wake up and he would be gone forever. Those weeks were quickly turning into months of loneliness and anguish.
Only at night, when I was alone in the bed that no longer held his scent, could I allow myself to feel those miserable emotions. In the comfort of bed, I could cry and weep over the family and world I lost, and now over the demon lord who stole my heart and left with it.
During the days, I found myself incredibly busy. It wasn’t something I fully understood yet, but it appeared the duties of a leader had fallen on my head. All the things I knew Ilya did before Minak’s birth fell into my hands. There was no conversation to be had. One day, I woke up and realized it happened right under my nose. I became the Lady of the Fortress, and in Vadric’s absence, my word was now law.
With Lord Ascian’s absence, my days were full. They wordlessly expected me to learn the basics of Nadirn quickly. I had to settle disputes among guests in the fortress more than once. Most days, I ensured we had adequate provisions available. Sometimes I supervised and helped prepare the meals.
The most important, and my very favorite role, however, was helping with Minak. Right now, I took a stroll through the fortress with the baby bundled in a wrap against my chest. It wasn’t one of the unspoken duties I felt compelled to take on. This was one I genuinely wanted.
Things changed drastically between me and Ilya after helping her deliver the baby boy. These past two months together, we formed a bond that I never would have expected after our first few weeks of meeting. Her animosity vanished as if overnight.
It was a welcome change. To finally have a friend, and someone besides Vadric, to watch my back in this world of monsters. Ilya’s help made learning about this world and its inhabitants easier. We spent hours together in the library poring over ancient and educational books while passing the fussy baby back and forth.
I rounded a corner, and at the thought of Minak being fussy, I glanced down and realized he finally fell asleep. Swaddled to your chest while you walked around was one of the infant’s favorite ways to fall asleep. Though sometimes the walk lasted over an hour. Kissing the wispy hair on the top of Minak’s head, I made my way back to Ilya’s and Knox’s room.
After a quick knock on the door with no answer, I walked in. Ilya sprawled out on a chaise lounge in front of her fireplace. Her jaw was wide open as she snored loudly. I helped with the baby as much as I could, but I knew she was still exhausted. These days wore me out as well.
“I think you’ve worn your poor mother out,” I whispered to Minak. Sitting at the desk in the corner of the room, I settled into the velvet cushions to rest my feet. Minak squirmed within the bundle, and for a second, I froze, worried that he might wake up now that I was sitting down. I released a breath when a soothing hand rubbing his back quickly eased him back into sleep.
My energy was low this past month, and I figured it was all the terrible excitement catching up to me. I hadn’t had a single day of rest since meeting Vadric. I supposed that was life when fate stuck you in the middle of a war between brothers. With Vadric active on the battlefield, I figured I could handle whatever came my way within the safe walls of the fortress.
Helping with Minak and taking on my new responsibilities didn’t make baring Vadric’s absence any easier. At night when I was alone, I felt the void so profoundly. All the marks he left on my body faded after the first month. I had no more proof that we’d ever been together. Nothing more than the memory of his touch and our nights exploring one another.
In the dark of night, I tried to pretend that he was there, touching me and pleasuring me. It was never enough, and my fingers fell short of what Vadric was capable of. The unbridled hunger in his eyes and the tender passion in his body were without comparison. No lover in my life ever made me feel what he did.
Whatever was between us was entirely different from whatever human feelings I experienced before. It was new, and although it was terrifying to have these feelings while he was away, it was thrilling still. Despite my worries each morning, I knew he was alive. Somehow, I could feel it.
The snoring across the room stuttered like a dying motorcycle engine. The thought caused a chuckle to slip from my lips as I accidentally imagined Ilya back on Earth trying to ride a motorcycle. It was unfair that in my imagination she totally rocked the demon biker chick aesthetic.
The snoring stopped as she jerked up from the chaise. Her head whipped around, searching with droopy eyelids. When her gaze landed on me holding Minak at the desk, her shoulders dropped, and she released a breath.
“Look who’s awake,” I tossed out with a gentle laugh.
“How long was I asleep?” Ilya ran a clawed hand through her mussed-up hair, sniffing and blinking the last traces of her nap away.
“Only a few hours. Minak got fussy after eating, so I walked him around until he passed out. He just fell asleep.” It was about midday now, and a decent nap time for the infant. “Did you rest well?”
“Well enough.” Her red eyes were distant as they stared into the flickering fire. Ilya had her own loneliness, eating her up from within. A new baby to care for while her mate was at war, and her brothers were trying to kill each other.
“A letter came while you were asleep,” I advised, feeling the weight of the slip of paper in my dress pocket. A servant found me shortly after I began my walk through the corridors with the fussy baby.
“When?” Ilya’s head whipped toward me with her eyes wider than dinner plates. “What did it say?”
“A messenger delivered it in the early morning hours, but the servant holding it only recently found me.” I carefully maneuvered while Minak slept to dig the paper out of my pocket. The baby didn’t lose a second of sleep.
“Are they alive?” The anguish in her voice shattered my heart to pieces. I knew I would sound the same if I’d been the one voicing the question.
“Yes,” I answered. “The letter says they’ll soon face Rykan in the Bone Valley.” A place I’d only seen illustrations of on the various maps of Nadirn. Even the sketches of the valley looked as inhospitable as it sounded.
Ilya cringed away, a soft hiss escaping her lips. Her head fell into her hands. All I could do was watch as she fought with her warring emotions, attempting to keep herself under control from the force of her despair.
“At least they are alive.” Her eyes were puffy with unshed tears. I watched her pull a mask over her features to hide her inner turmoil.
