Page 109 of Born into Mayhem
“It’s not your fault,” I quickly say, stunned that he would even think that.
“That knife was meant for me,amore,not you.”
“Well I took it for myself, and that was my decision, Dario, not yours. And what I meant about it being not fair is that you want kids, and I can’t have them. It’s not fair for me to be selfish and keep you from having a family.” I stop talking because a lump is in my throat atthe very idea of Dario being with someone else, but I don’t want him to stay with me out of pity or because he feels he owes me.
Cupping my face, he sits on the edge of the bed, hovering over me so there’s no way I can avoid him.
“Look at me, amore mio.”
He waits until I meet his gaze, and the love I see in his eyes has my own threatening to spill over as the lump in my throat grows bigger.
“That’s the last time I ever want you to say something like that to me. Remember the things I said to you before this happened,streghetta mia. Remember the way I told you I love you and that I want to marry you, and remember the way I couldn’t keep my hands off you. That’s how I feel about you, Mia, and that will never change. I’m not with you out of pity or because you were crazy enough to jump in front of me and save my life. Fuck, little viper, do you still not understand how much I love you?”
“I don’t want to keep you from happiness,” I whisper.
“Then don’t ever leave me,” he says. “I never thought I’d have a family, Mia. I never sat around wishing I could be a dad. I swear to you that all I need is you. I will be the happiest man alive if I can just have you.”
He rests his forehead against mine and lets out a shaky breath. “I just need you,amore mio.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer, needing to feel his body surrounding mine. He holds me while I try like hell to not cry.
“It’s okay to be sad,piccola vipera.”
“I’m fine,” I whisper. “I never wanted kids anyway, remember?”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s still a decision that should never have been taken from you. It’s okay to mourn that,amore.It’s okay to feel sad, even if you never would have chosen to get pregnant. I know how strong you are, little viper, but you don’t need to be strong right now. Just this once, let me be your strength.”
His words tear through the wall that’s trying to build itself around my heart, and when he hears the shaky breath I let out, he kisses meand holds me tighter while I fall apart. I allow myself this one moment, this one time to mourn what might have been, what could have been, and what will now never be. I cry for the opportunity that was stolen, for the children I may or may not have ever chosen to have, and for the family that Dario and I could’ve made. I let everything out until I have nothing left to give, and when I’m left shaking, eyes swollen and throat raw, Dario keeps holding me, whispering that he loves me and promising that the future we do still have is going to be so fucking beautiful.
“I love you,” I whisper, clinging to him as hard as my injured body will allow.
“Ti amo,” he whispers back. “More than you can possibly understand, little viper.”
We stay like this, him gently holding me while I cling to him, until the door opens and a nurse walks in. Dario reluctantly lets me go so she can check my bandages and look me over. She works quickly but there’s a gentleness to her touch, and when she speaks, her accent is thick, but her English is good.
“How are you feeling,SignoraAlessi? Is the pain too bad?”
I look down at the huge diamond that’s still on my finger, knowing we’re going to have to end the charade soon. I’ll miss it, but judging by the look Dario is giving me, it won’t be long before I really am his wife.
“I’m okay,” I say, and then prove myself a liar when I try to move and hiss out a breath. Dario is immediately at my side, telling the nurse something in Italian.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “He’s overprotective.”
“I’m not,” he says while the nurse tries to hide her smile. “I’m the perfect amount of protectiveness. You shouldn’t be in pain if you don’t have to be.”
“I can give you a stronger painkiller,” the nurse says, “but it will make you drowsy.”
“No,” I say. “I’m tired of sleeping, and I want to be awake when my family gets here.” I look over at Dario. “How much longer do you think?”
He looks at his watch, making me remember the feminized version he’d given me, and I make a mental note to ask him where it is because I really liked that thing.
“About another hour. They’re on their way to the house now. Sandro and Sasha are meeting them. My parents are going to watch Isabella and Enzo,” he says, explaining why they didn’t drive straight here. “Nat insisted on coming, and you know Dominic can’t refuse her anything.”
“I’m glad she’s here,” I say, wanting to see my sister and mom so badly it makes my throat start to constrict. I swallow hard, refusing to cry again.
Missing nothing, Dario squeezes my hand. “They’ll be here soon,streghetta mia.”
The nurse checks a few more things, and when she’s satisfied that everything looks okay, she leaves the room. As soon as she’s gone, I say, “It’s going to be harder for me to get in front of any weapons when I can barely move. Maybe you should stand behind my hospital bed when my dad gets here.”
