Page 42 of Worth the Risk
“Hey, Winnie!” I’m jerked out of my daydream by Anna calling my name at the kitchen door.
“Hey, Anna. Need something?”
“I have someone out here wondering if they can place a special order. I know you’re busy this week but wanted to check.”
“Uhm…depends on the order but I can probably swing it.” To be honest I’ve loved being busy this week. This week marks the 18th anniversary of my parents accident and I don’t like to dwell on it as much as possible.
“She’s wanting some custom cupcakes for her daughter’s birthday.” She looks at a small notebook in her hand and starts reading. I smile. Anna has really come a long way as an employee. I’m proud of her. “Four dozen lemon cupcakes with raspberry filling and cream cheese frosting. What do you think?” She looks up at me.
“Well…I can get that done and the other things on my list if you think you could help me…?”
“Of course! I can run errands and take of the front of the shop no problem.”
“I was actually hoping you could help me in the kitchen.”
“In here? Your kitchen? You want me in here…with you?” I laugh.
“Yes. If that would be something you wanted.”
“Yes!! Yes, I would love that!”
“Great. Tell her we can do them. When does she need them by?” She checks her notes again.
“She needs them on Friday, so three days. Is that still fine?”
“Yep. I think we can do it.” I wink and she beams. I feel bad for not having offered her access to the kitchen sooner. I had no idea she would be this excited. I used to love helping my mom in the kitchen. She was an amazing cook and baker. Then I was able to help Mary after we moved here. My eyes are hot and I can feel tears start but I sniff them away. I can’t afford to get off schedule today. I’m going over to Rhett’s tonight to help with some design choices and he’s making me dinner. I’ve never had a guy make me dinner before.
It’s been a long day and I am exhausted when I get home. Rhett’s truck wasn’t parked beside his house when I walked by. He must still be at the school. I need to shower and get changed before walking over anyway so I strip my flour coated clothing off and throw it in the basket by the laundry on my way to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and I am a mess. I start the shower and go to my closet to grab some clothes. I decide on some spandex shorts and a big t shirt.
In the shower I wash away all of the various baking ingredients from my hair and body and also let the feelings surrounding this week come to the surface just enough to examine them. Sadness. Grief. Longing. I sit with each feeling for a moment and try to let it go. It’s a practice that has helped me for years. It doesn’t make the pain go away but it helps me process and keep my anxiety level manageable. I like to end this with remembering that the reason I feel these things is because I had felt loved and cherished. I picture my moms eyes, the same color as mine, crinkling at the corners while she laughs with me. I remember the look on my dads face, arms stretched out and hugging her from behind. I hear his laugh as she swats at him. God, I loved his laugh. I feel a few tears trail down my face and wash them away in the spray of the shower before I turn it off.
I’m dressed and letting my hair air dry when my phone rings.LOMLpops up on my screen along with a picture of me sprawled out on a picnic blanket next to Rhett that he snapped of us at the lake weeks ago. I roll my eyes and I’m laughing as I answer.
“L.O.M.L. huh?”
“L.O…mm what? I don’t know what that means…?”
“So you didn’t break into my phone and change your contact?”
“What are you accusing me of, Winnie?”
“Mm must have been another stalker of mine. My mistake. Did you need something?” I grin when he growls on the otherend of the line and look out my kitchen window that faces the back of his house. He’s already standing in his yard and looking in my window. I gasp.
“Jeezes, Rhett! That scared the shit of me. What are you doing out there, besides being creepy?” He chuckles but doesn’t answer.
“I was thinking we should put a gate in the fence here so we can go between yards.”
“Why? You can just use the sidewalk right there.” I point towards the street still looking at him.
“Yeah, but I like the idea of being attached.” I smile then he adds… “Dreamcatcher?” What?
“Umm…I know we haven’t discussed pet names but that one isn’t really doing it for me.” I step out the side door of my house and walk towards the fence, hanging up. His laughter is loud and undiluted. I love it.
“Your tattoo cover up. Dreamcatcher?”
“Are we still on this?”
“Until I guess it, absolutely.” He says as I reach the gate. “Ready for dinner?”
