Page 58 of Worth the Risk
Finally after what feels like hours, I’m stepping onto the sidewalk in front of my house.
“I’ll text you later with updates on Colt.” he says reassuringly.
“Thank you for—everything, Rhett. You are such an amazing man. I’ve been so lucky to get this time with you.” I can tell that my words confuse him a little, but he still gives me a smile.
“You don’t have to thank me, baby. I told you, I’m gonna be here when you need me.”
The knife turns slightly when he calls mebaby. This is a new development. He called me that earlier on the phone I think, too. I was too upset to notice, but I definitely notice now. It makes me feel all warm and gooey inside like a chocolate lava cake. Not a bad feeling but one that I know I shouldn’t be having right now when I’m trying to put some distance between us. He said something and I missed it while I was in my head.
“Sorry, what was that?” He smiles fondly at me, knowing I was in my head and not voicing what’s in it.
“I know it feels heavy right now, but we’re going to make it through this and I’m going to be here for you through it…” He says and all I can do is stand there. He looks down at his phone and answers. “Yeah, I just dropped her off and I’m heading back. Keep your shirt on, it’s fifteen minutes.” He taps his screen then looks at me one more time. “I better get back, Colt is getting restless.” I nod and wave, still not having found my voice. I push the door closed and turn for the safety of my house, but hear the truck engine go silent.
“Hold on a second,” he calls. I freeze as I feel his arms pull me into him.
“I just needed to hold you for a minute. I love you.” I’m paralyzed. Caught between melting into him, surrendering to letting him love me through all of my fears and pushing him away to protect both our hearts in the long run.
“I hope you know what you mean to me, Rhett. I love you more than I ever thought myself capable.” He pulls away from me and kisses my lips, soft from the crying.
“I know, baby. I love you that much and more.” He gets back in his truck, pulls away from the curb and I stand there till I can’t see the tail lights anymore—I’m not sure if it’s the distance or the unshed tears that finally cuts them from view. I turn over our interaction in my brain again, something I can’t seem to ever turn off. It really sucks that he has to be so great. Getting over him would just be so much easier if he was a jerk.
I sigh and turn to go inside. I’m really looking forward to showering off this day, changing into my pajamas and melting into my bed. As I clear the top of my concrete steps I look over and see the big Queen Anne. He’ll be there soon and that means I really will have to leave. I won’t subject either of us to any more hurt than I’m going to cause.
I’ve been sitting in my office for two hours. Practice will start soon and I’ll have to go out there and put on a brave face for the boys. Truthfully, I’m exhausted. I haven’t been able to sleep. I’ve barely been able to eat or even think about anything, anything other than my current situation. Current situation being that I’m so gone for a woman who won’t talk to me.
It’s been five days since Colt was hurt while rafting. It’s been six since Winnie and I shared the best night of my life. It’s been four agonizing days since I’ve seen her besides a glimpse here and there of her running in and out of her house. She told me she’s just busy taking care of her brother and things at the bakery. I know better. I know she’s pulling away from me. I also don’t know how to stop it.
Colt is home now and resting. We’ve spoken briefly, but not about what I was about to confess to him out on the water or what he saw at the hospital. I’m not sure if he rememberseverything clearly, but I know he remembers me holding Winnie in the ER. In the few conversations I’ve had with him he hasn’t mentioned her or that he saw me kissing her. I need to talk to him and explain. This isn’t like any of my other relationships. I’m in love with her and want to be with her desperately.
“Hey, Coach!” Dusty says as he pops his helmet covered head into my office.
“Hey, Dusty. Ready for practice?”
“Oh, yeah. Just gotta get my skates on. I forgot though, Principal Gordon wanted me to ask you if you would be willing to do that interview you spoke about last week for the town paper. I guess there’s a reporter that’s been asking.” I’ve done plenty of interviews over the course of my career and been reported on more times than I care for. Usually some sleazeball wants to make me look bad. I assume that’s not the case here since it’s just the local paper.
“Thanks for letting me know, kid. I’ll let Principal Gordon know I’m in.”
“Sweet. See ya out there, Coach!” He takes off for the locker room and I’m left with my thoughts again. I’m not sure how to prove to Winnie that I’m here for good. I’m not going anywhere this time. I think it’s time I brought in some reinforcements. I’m willing to go to great lengths to get us back on track.
After practice I go by the hospital. I spot Marigold easy enough and make my way over.
“Hey Marigold.” She turns and seems a little shocked to see me.
“Rhett. What are you doing here? Everything okay?” She asks.
“Everthing’s fine. Well not everything, but I’m hoping you can help me with that part.”
“Listen. If this is about Winnie…”
“It is. I’m in love with her and I don’t know how to make her see that the only way I’ll leave her alone is if she doesn’t feel the same way.” She smiles at me.
“Winnie is my bestfriend. She’s also the most special woman I’ve ever met.”
“We can agree on that,” I cut in.
“She’s fierce and kind and when she decides someone is worth it, she loves with everything she is.”
“So she may not think I’m worth it.” It’s not exactly a question or something I’ve meant to say out loud.
