Page 59 of Worth the Risk
“I didn’t say that,” she interjects. “You’ve seen she struggles with anxiety—and she’s had a pretty big week this last week. She loves her brother and I think it took her back to a place mentally where she was losing her parents all over again. I think it made her think about how allowing herself to love you fully leaves her vulnerable to the pain it would cause to lose you.”
“But she’s not going to lose me.” She shrugs.
“You need to talk to her about that part. You guys haven’t told anyone what’s been going on with your relationship yet. I don’t think she would ever admit it, but I think that makes her feel insecure. Like maybe you aren’t telling everyone, because it will make it easier to leave again—or leave her.”
“I couldn’t leave her. I wouldn’t. There is nothing this world could offer me that could persuade me to be without her.” She purses her lips and nods.
“I think that is where you should start, Rhett. Show her you’re in it for the long haul. I love Winnie, but she can be so stubborn when she’s scared. Don’t give up on her.” I shake my head.
“Not a chance. I won’t let her push me away again.”
“Good. Now I need to get back to work so—bye. Also, you should go see Colt. He’s having a hard time with staying down.”
“Right. I will. Bye, Marigold and thank you.” She tilts her head and strides down the hallway. I guess it’s time for me to have a long overdue conversation with my best friend, but first I send another text to Winnie.I miss you, honeybee.
The drive out to Colt’s cabin is short, too short. It’s not giving me enough time to rehearse what I want to say. I guess I’ll be shooting from the hip on this one. I’m pulling into the drive when I see him outside, rinsing off his raft. He’s never been able to sit still.
“Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” I ask.
“Not really my thing,” he calls back and I grin, because that is the truth.
“How’s the head?”
“Perfectly, fine.” He looks at me then, really looks at me. “I have zero memory loss.” Okay so, we are going to be jumping right into this.
“Ah, alright then. Let’s hear it.” We might as well get this all over with so I can talk him out of throwing a punch at me and straight into being okay with me and Winnie.
“What’s going on with you and Win?” Well this is easy enough to answer.
“I’m in love with her.” His brows shoot up and he blinks at me.
“You’re in love with her.” He repeats what I’ve just said looking at the ground and nodding his head. I stay quiet and let him digest this info. “How long has this been going on?” This one isn’t so easy to answer, but I think it’s better to stick with honesty.
“This time? Since I got back to town, eight years since the first time I acted on it and in total since I was seventeen.” I bracemyself. This could get ugly. To my surprise I hear a startled laugh.
“So you’re telling me you’ve been in love with my uncoordinated, nerdy little sister for that long and I didn’t know?” He’s laughing as he asks, but I don’t trust that it’ll stick.
“Yes,” I say, waiting for him to get pissed. His laughter slows, but he still has a smile on his face.
“Am I that unobservant?” he asks.
“I never acted on it until the summer before I went pro. I never even so much as held her hand.” I tell him in a rush. I’m not looking for forgiveness. I wouldn’t ask for that seeing as I don’t feel bad at all about the way I feel about Winnie. I do want to explain to him though that I never meant to lie to him. “She cut things off after that and nothing has happened between us until I moved back to town.” He nods, processing.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I wanted to eight years ago, but she told me she wasn’t looking for something long term so she didn’t want you to know, when I pressed her about it she broke things off and then pretty soon after that she broke off most of our communication.”
“You know I thought there might be something between you a few years ago. She came back from a trip for school the same weekend you had a game in the city and was devastated. I couldn’t get her to talk about it.”
“A misunderstanding. Lacey was involved.” I cringe remembering the texts on Winnie’s phone.
“Uhg. Lacey. She was the worst.”
“She was. More than I even knew. I’m wishing I would have listened to you about her sooner,” I admit.
“So, you and Winnie? Are you together then?” I feel my heart sink, because I don’t know where we stand at the moment.
“Well we were. I was planning on telling you about us the day of the accident, but Winnie has barely spoken to me since. I’m worried I might lose her.”
