Page 16 of Worth the Rush
I know you like to do things on your own, but we talked about you keeping me in the loop. I just want to know that you’re safe.
Now I feel like a bitch. I think I just didn’t want to deal with anyone else’s drama over the situation when I’ve got plenty of my own. It wasn’t my intention to worry her though. It’s never my intention to hurt people, but man am I good at it. Sighing heavily, I hit her number. She deserves a phone call. She picks up halfway through the first ring.
“What’s going on?” she asks in way of a greeting. I mentally prepare myself to makeherfeel better about all of this.
“Hi. I’m fine, Sienna. It’s just been a long couple of days.”
“I’ve been worried sick, Ivy. You haven’t replied to any of my messages,” she accuses.
“I know. I haven’t been on my phone a lot.”Except for when I was checking Noah’s engagement announcement.“I didn’t have much warning with all of this. I was told I was coming here about three hours before I was on a plane,” I relay.
“And you couldn’t have sent one message explaining? Not even from the plane?” she whines, and the sound grates on my already frayed nerves. She doesn’t mean to, but Sienna will take any opportunity to make a situation about her. I’m guilty of the same. Tonight, I just don’t want to deal with it.
“Sorry, Si. It’s just been a lot to process,” I explain.
“Yeah, that part I get. I’ve been dealing with your disappearance all day. I’ve had to talk to everyone in town asking about you, and all I can tell them is that you’re in Silverthorne, Colorado, wherever that is, and I have no idea why,” she tells me, exasperated. Like it’s her whose life has been upended. I roll my eyes, not convinced anyone is missing me. They want to know the gossip, more like.
“It’s in Colorado,” I deadpan. “And I’m so sorry you had to deal with all of that. It must have been so difficult for you.” My voice is sickly sweet.
“Oh, fuck off, and thank you. It was,” she responds as though she’s accepting a real apology. God, she’s the most self-absorbed person I know. I laugh until she laughs with me and decide to tell her the condensed version of why I’m here. She was there for the wrecked boat and most of the nights that put me on my father’s radar as irresponsible. I may not speak to her for a while so I fill her in as best I can.
“Right. Well, unfortunately, I don’t have time to tell you all the details, but the short version is that I’ll be here for the next three months running this resort that my father purchased. Then I’ll be back home and ready to step into my role at Rutherford.” I breathe in deeply and shut my eyes. What a mess I’ve created. Was I always this way? No. I know that I wasn’t.
“Oh, so basically, a luxury resort winter vacation? Thatsounds like a dream, Ivy. I’m not sure why you’re being so dramatic about all of this.” I snort at her cavalier attitude. Why indeed.
“Right, something like that. Listen, I need to go. I’ll talk to you later.” Maybe. Maybe I won’t talk to her later. I haven’t decided yet.
“Sure, sure. Bye, babes!” She hangs up, and I’m relieved. I’m not sure when we became friends. If you can even call it that. I just remember feeling broken, and Sienna knew how to have fun. I needed to have fun. After years upon years of feeling trapped, trying something else seemed like a good idea.
I unpack one of my suitcases of clothing and put it into my drawers. I need to start brainstorming. Tomorrow, I’ll need to start making calls and sending emails. If I want this gift shop to open the week of Christmas, I’ll have to get it up and running in less than two weeks. I grab my stashed bag of sour candy and change into my comfy pajamas. Lying down on my bed, my mind races with all the things I need to get done, and then, unbidden to me, it fades to Alder Holloway right before I drift to sleep.
Snow is silently falling outside my window when my alarm goes off. There’s something gentle about it, it makes my limbs feel warm and weightless. Looking out the big window in my bedroom, I can see the sun just peeking up over the distant mountain tops. Always having been an early riser, I catch the first glimpse of the morning often. It’s something that I thought would come in handy years ago. I flinch, shutting my eyes tight. Flinging the blankets off my body to sit up, I plant my feet on the floor. For years, I’ve tried to outrun or outsmart memories, but they always catch up to me. Whether at the bottom of a bottle or in a stranger's bed in the middle of the night, sharp and painful reminders that I’m not living the life I thought I would be seem to find me in these quiet moments.
I mentally do a rundown of my day after pushing the button on the coffee maker. Sending emails and making calls is what most of my day consists of, so I don’t need to be too bundled up. Jeans and a T-shirt it is. I dress and pull a beanieover my hair. A shower last night would have been ideal, but I was too tired after my phone call with Sienna. I didn’t even get around to calling my father. He didn’t exactly get around to calling me either, I remind myself. It shouldn’t sting after years of the same thing. It shouldn’t.
I think back to a couple of mornings ago after being stranded on the side of the road, and the voicemail I woke up to.
“Hey, Ms. Rutherford. This is Silverthorne Towing. We got your note and wanted to let you know that your vehicle will be at The Edgemont in the morning. So sorry it took us so long to get up there last night. The snow really delayed us. We won’t be billing you. This one is on us and don’t hesitate to reach out if you ever need help again. Thank you. Goodbye.”
And it was. Parked in front of the Edgemont when I went into the office, just as the message said. That’s one thing I’ll have to get used to. Small towns. People doing things out of the kindness of their hearts. I’m not familiar with that.
Walking out the front door of my cabin, I turn in the direction of the main lodge. I now know where my office is inside the building, and I’m grateful I don't have to worry about finding myself in one that doesn't belong to me with a colleague who I don’t need to be spending any extra time with. That man conjures a visceral reaction from me. I’m on edge when he’s near, and I snap at him before thinking better of it. He makes it hard to think straight at all. The problem with this is that I wouldn't even give my snapping a second thought if it were anyone but him. Most people would view me as a spoiled brat. They wouldn’t be completely wrong to assume that. I am and have always been spoiled. I guess that’s what happens whenyou grow up without a mother and with a father who didn’t want a daughter.
The Edgemont is a beautiful sight this morning. The sun is starting to paint the rest of the world in a golden glow. It makes me feel closer to something. I’m not sure what yet. I spot my SUV as I take the steps and enter the warm cabin. My office is down the same hallway I was in yesterday. Walking in, I sit at my new desk and look out the window. The ski lift has started running, but no one is out there yet. The gondola starts up as I’m watching. I really want to ride that. Maybe tomorrow morning, I’ll be able to ride it to the top of the mountain at sunrise.
I sink back into the leather chair behind the desk and sigh. I need two ways to bring in a crowd in the next three months. Something to show an increase in revenue and prove that I have good ideas and can be trusted. The gift shop is the first. I’ll start making calls to vendors and local boutiques today. I want it filled with artisanal items. I’ll also need to scout a place to start renovations or maybe a new cabin altogether.
Before I know it, it’s lunchtime. You have to be better about eating. I scold myself. I’m not going to be doing anything on my list if I faint again. I pull out my jar of citrus peels and pop a couple into my mouth. There are only a few left in here. I really do need to make it into town so I can make some more. I’ve always loved these. I can’t really remember, but I think I made them with a nanny one Christmas.
“Hey, Ivy!” Jack calls from my doorway.
I smile. “Hey, Jack. How are you today?”
“It’s a beautiful day out there and things are running smoothly, so I can’t complain.” He smiles at me. “I was heading over to the restaurant to get some lunch. Are you hungry?” The invitation is surprising, but not unwelcome.
“Starving.”
“Would you like to come with?” he offers.
