Page 20 of Worth the Rush
After Ray, I got my pilot’s license and received my FAA Medical Certificate. I am now an EMS helicopter pilot, and with all the courses and classes I’ve taken, I’m also Alpine Search and Rescue certified. I usually have to lead a rescue once a year. Luckily, it’s been mostly minor situations, and I haven’t lost anyone. For years after losing Ray, I didn’t want to get back on a board or go near this mountain. Learning how to do something I’ve loved since I was a child in a way that makes me feel in control is the only reason I’m here today.
Slipping my pack over my jacket, I grab my board and helmet, take one last sip of my coffee from my thermos, and then it’s off to the races. The mountain is calm this morning. The sun is making all the fresh snow glitter like the inside of a snow globe. It reminds me of the one I gave Hazel last year. She loved that thing, made me shake it over and over, and then giggled and clapped her chubby hands when I did.
Being a father wasn’t something I considered until Knox brought her into our family. I want Hazel to have cousins. I know Rhett and Winnie will be having kids, probably as soon as they’re married next year even though my mom would prefer that they just start now. That makes me chuckle. Most mothers appreciate their children following society’s acceptable order of how to do life. Engagement, marriage, babies, etc. Mary Holloway would be fine with me having babies with anyone as long as she got to love them. I, on the other hand, do not feel that way.
I haven’t found anyone who I would want to have kids with. I saw how wrecked Knox was when he found out Hazel's mother was pregnant. They weren’t on good terms when she finally told him and that was months after she knew. He felt blindsided. He couldn’t trust her after that. That’s not something I want to go through if it can be helped. I want a true partner. That’s something my younger brother got right. Winnie is his perfect match. Lately, I’ve been thinking that I wouldn’t mind my life looking like that too. When I come home to my cabin alone, I feel relief, but also longing. It would be nice to be alone—with someone else.
The lift has arrived at the top of Kettle Peak, so I hop off. The crunch of the snow beneath my board is one of my favorite sounds. I make my way over to the top of the peak and start riding down. I’m tense today, but after a few minutes, I can feel my hips start to loosen up and my spine stretch. Snowboarding can be tough on you physically, but I’m much more in tune with my body the older I get. I’m much more in tune with my emotions as well.
That’s how I know that the feelings I get when I’m around Ivy Rutherford are more than just casual. More than just friendly. I thought that first night could be a fluke or maybe it was just that she was new. Different. She’s both of those things but a hell of a lot more. The way she weaves her words together in a way that feels like foreplay. Being brushed off like I’m dirt under her expensive boot may be the most arbitrary thing I’ve ever been turned on by in my life, butI am.
I look out over the sparkling mountainside, and where I usually see solace and respite—today, I see loneliness. I wish I had someone to share this with. My love for these mountains runs deep. Exploring them, appreciating this small piece ofheaven on earth. I want to experience that with someone else. Someone who can hold their own. Someone who none too recently told me they were a capable woman. That thought has me cutting my morning alone short. I’m off today and have nothing scheduled, but I’m thinking about stopping by the lodge, and I’m hoping when I do, I catch a glimpse of the spitfire that I can’t seem to get out of my head.
It’s Tuesday evening. Time has gone by excruciatingly slowly and, somehow, today has come at warp speed. I’m regretting that I agreed to come tonight, and on top of that uneasiness, I’m running late. I don’t know if you can say that when it’s on purpose. Telling Winnie I would come in front of Alder just to prove a point was a dark cloud over my day today. His looking like he did at work earlier was also a point of contention for me. To be so deeply attracted to a man who I feel so much annoyance toward makes my temples ache. Although, I’m not sure it's really him that I’m annoyed with or if it’s the way those damn butterflies let loose when he’s around.
Why do I feel so strongly about him? I’m not sure, and I don’t plan to think too seriously about it either. He’s annoyingly good-natured and takes everything I throw at him in stride. I find that unsettling. This morning, when he tried to make polite conversation with me, I told him that he had hat hair from his beanie and he should fix it. He didn’t. He looked likehe stepped right out of a snowboarding magazine, and then, to no one’s surprise, he just laughed off my comment and ran his hand through his shaggy hair. The action made me jealous. Wishing I was running my hand through his thick strands. I shake my head at the memory and refocus.
I’m here to make an appearance. I would rather be back in my cabin, drinking wine in my cozy slippers. The long day is wearing on me, and being out in the cold, even in a town as charming as Silverthorne, is not how I would choose to spend my night. Walking into AJ’s is like walking into a movie scene. It’s just as I remember, but it’s also been transformed into everything I would have imagined a perfectly holiday-themed bar to be. The bar top is a slab of polished, live edge wood, and the bar stools are a thick black metal. Some tables are scattered around the small space that are a little hard to see with all the people packed in. There must be a big turnout since there’s live music tonight. I make my way to the counter and spot Buck. He’s chatting up a woman at the end of the bar. Wait, I think that’s Marilyn from the hotel the other night. That makes me smile. I have a feeling he was a ladies’ man when he was younger.
With eyes that sparkle with mischief, he greets me. “Hey there! What can I get you, hun?” He smiles, and his eyes almost disappear with the action. I grin back.
“Hi! Can I get a glass of white?” I ask, and his smile widens.
“Course you can!” he replies and grabs a wine glass from where it hangs over his head. “It’s nice to see you again, how long are you here for? Will you be in town for the festival?” he asks, selecting a chilled bottle from the small fridge behind the bar.
“Um, I’m actually here for a bit. I just started working at The Edgemont,” I tell him.
“No kidding! You’ve probably met Jack then. He’s around here somewhere. He’s one of the resort managers.” I nod before replying.
“I do know him. He was actually one of the first people I met since I’ve been here. Apart from you and Marilyn.” I nod my head in her direction.
“And Alder Holloway,” he says, setting my glass in front of me. “He was here the night we met, too, if I remember correctly.” He poses the last sentence like a question, even though I’m fairly certain nothing really gets by this man. “The snowstorm had him stuck in town, I think.” I open my mouth to confirm but shut it when the hair on my neck alerts me to someone's presence. Then I take a breath in through my nose. Citrusy and warm. It makes my mouth water, and that annoys the hell out of me.
“You asking about me, Ivy?” he rumbles softly at my side. I roll my eyes then turn toward him. “You know you can ask me anything. You don’t have to question our local bartender. I’ll tell you anything you wanna know,” he teases.
“No.” The word comes out a little more forceful than I wanted it to, and I’m wishing I sounded less defensive. Even more so after seeing the smirk on his face.
“Hey, Alder. How ya doing tonight, son?” the man behind the bar asks him. He doesn’t look away from me as he answers, still smiling.
“Good, Buck. Real good.” He faces him then. “And you?”
“Oh, you know me, I can’t complain. Getting things ready for my booth at the Christmas tree lighting ceremony this weekend.”
“Beer and Chili. It hits every time, Buck.” He winks at Buck and they both chuckle. I’m not sure what that means, but I smile.
“Good to know. I’ll have some seasonal IPA’s this year and mulled wine and ciders to try too,” he says excitedly. “Be sure to stop by, Ivy.” He winks one of his crinkly eyes at me and goes to his next patron. Leaving me alone with Alder. I take a sip of my wine and look around the room. It’s loud and filled with chatter, but there isn’t a band playing like I thought there would be.
“Do you want me to show you to our table?” Alder asks me. No.
“Sure,” I say and grab my glass of wine from the bar top.
“Right this way, princess.” I narrow my eyes at him, but he just starts walking through the crowd. I follow him while looking at all the lights in here. The green hanging lamps over the tables are composed of mosaic glass, and there are hanging twinkle lights above us to really sell the Christmas vibe. I glance at the people tucked into their tables and booths, talking amongst themselves and laughing. It’s so freaking cute in here. There are red and green bows, wreaths, and fairy lights. I’m ogling a Christmas tree with all cream and gold trimmings when I smack into a wall, almost spilling my drink. Only it’s not a wall; it’s Alder who’s stopped at our table.
“Hi, Ivy!” A sweet voice cuts through my embarrassment.
“Hey, Winnie,” I greet her as she scoots closer to Rhett who shifts closer to another man. A very attractive man. He’s gorgeous. I’m not sure how to describe his eyes. They’re hazel, but they seem to be dancing. Bright.Wild.What are they feeding the men here? I muse to myself.
“Sit down!” she encourages me. I do, and Alder sits acrossfrom me. “How are you?” she asks me. She has her curly hair down tonight, and Rhett is talking to the man who I don’t know while absently playing with a lock of it. It frames her delicate face perfectly. It highlights her kind eyes and sweet smile.
