Page 23 of Worth the Rush
“That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it,” she says with narrowed eyes, and the annoyance in them makes me smile.
“I just wanted to make sure we were being honest with each other,” I tell her, and she shakes her head.
“I’m not sure if you’re being intentionally obtuse or if you’re playing into the whole snowboarding persona—” she says, lifting a hand at me. I raise my brows at her. “But you’re not hearing me. I’m not interested in starting something with you, action hero,” she finishes. She hasn’t looked at me while saying all this, so I step closer still, not quite touching her. She doesn’t move or tense when I place my right arm against the car beside her shoulder. She doesn’t shy away from my nearness. She seems to relax into where my forearm meets her body.
“If that’s really how you feel, I’ll stop,” I tell her quietly. Reaching up with my free hand, I tuck some loose hair behind her ear and lightly cup her jaw. She closes her eyes, leaning into my hand slightly, and I turn her head to me. “But I’m going to need you to look at me when you say it. Tell me there isn’tanything between us, and I’ll back off. We can just be friends. Her eyes open, and then her mouth, but no words come. I stare at her parted lips and lean my head closer to hers until we’re only a few inches apart. “Tell me to stop, Ivy. Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you senseless and then put you in my truck,” I coax.
Laughter and a door flying open have us both snapping our heads to AJ’s entrance. Ivy moves out of my touch and opens the driver-side door wider. She shakes her head and smiles. A nervous laugh bubbles out of her, and I chuckle along with her.
“Goodnight, Lover Boy. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says, and I shake my head.
“Not tomorrow. I’m on call for my other job, but if you want, I can stop by to say hi. If you get to missing me too badly or want to finish this.” I wave between us and receive another eye roll from her tonight.
“There’s nothing to finish, and I’m not going to start anything with you. I’ll see you around.” She slides into her seat and shuts the door, effectively cutting off my view of her. A shame. I really like looking at her. I knock on the roof of her car twice and call out a goodnight. I think about staying at AJ’s for a bit longer, but I already know I won’t be doing that as my feet find their way to my Bronco, and I start it up. She may not want me looking out for her, but I can’t help myself. Call it selfish, maybe that’s what it is, but I need to know that she’s made it home and isn’t stuck on the side of the road in the cold again.
I catch up to her once I start the climb up the mountain, she’s driving slowly. Good. She isn’t used to these roads yet, and I’ve seen more than my fair share of accidents on mountain roads. I give her plenty of space, trailing far behind. The snow is coming down a little heavier up here, but it’s still safe to beout. I watch as she pulls into her parking spot beside her cabin, and she’s getting out as I drive by. I wave, and she gives me one back. I smile, thinking about our almost kiss. She can tell me she doesn’t want to date me all she wants, but her body language is telling me a different story.
Once I’m home, I tug off my boots and get ready for bed. I’ve got another early morning. I start my shift at six o’clock. and need to be alert for it. Some days, I don’t receive any calls, and then there have been days where they seem to come in nonstop. I used to wish for slow days, but that only ever seemed to bring me bad luck. Now, I just resign myself to the fact that the day is going to be what it is, and I will be ready for whatever it brings.
I love my job. Helping people has helped me in a lot of ways. Healing from an unexpected loss isn’t linear. I hear my therapist's voice in my head. I have more sunny days than dark ones, and I have a better system in place to help me through the dark days. I had always loved snowboarding, but I started teaching classes six years ago as an outlet. I don’t pay myself for the classes like I do with the other instructors. It’s really just another way I can make sure people know how to be safe on the mountain.
Climbing into bed, I tuck my arm behind my head and look out through the skylight in the ceiling. It’s a clear night, so the stars are easy to see and stand out like diamonds against the dark night sky. They make me think of another gemstone. I close my eyes, thinking of green slanted eyes and a pouty smirk. I can still feel soft red hair between my fingers. The snow is falling softly. I can hear it tapping against the glass pane. I let the soft sound pull me to sleep. All my thoughts on the gorgeous redhead down the road who refuses to admit shewants me too. Somehow, I just need to get her to trust her instincts and this growing attraction between us. That first night wasn’t a fluke, and I’m nothing if not relentless.
Days like today are one of the reasons I love my job. I woke up ready and slept better than I have in months. My verbal sparring matches with Ivy lately may have something to do with how worn out I was. The need to touch her and not being able to is starting to wear on me too. That woman drives me crazy without even trying.
I was able to help two people make it back to their families safely. We had a car slide off the road a couple of counties over. Luckily, no one was injured, and the airlift wouldn’t have been necessary, but the paramedics who arrived first thought the woman might have had a concussion. Thankfully, she didn’t, but they made the right call. A head injury isn’t something to brush off.
I’m drinking a coffee from the doctors’ lounge now, waiting to hear about our other rescue’s prognosis. My shift ended half an hour ago, but I always like to hear how a patient is doing before I take off. Mare is with him now. I know he had a dislocated shoulder, but I worried that he also had some broken ribs. He was having a lot of pain while breathing which could have just been severe bruising; I guess we’ll see. His family is in the waiting room and has been assured that his life isn’t in danger.
He had been snowboarding on a trail he shouldn’t have been and picked up too much speed. He slammed directly intoa tree. Thank God he had the good sense to have a helmet on; he isn’t facing a head injury because of it. As lucky as he is to only be facing minor injuries, his body is definitely going to feel the impact for a while.
“Mrs. Stephens.” I see Mare call from the swinging double doors.
“Yes, that’s me.” A woman in her late forties slides the head of a sleepy little boy off her lap and stands. Mare walks over with a reassuring smile on her face. She’s really good at that.
“Hi, Mrs. Stephens. I wanted to be the first to tell you that your husband is going to make a full recovery, though I would absolutely recommend no more snowboarding or skiing or snowmobiling this trip. He does need to spend the night tonight because we had to give him something for the pain in his ribs, but he’ll be ready for discharge early tomorrow morning.” Mrs. Stephens lets out something between a laugh and a sob and reaches her arms out to hug Mare, thanking her. She accepts the hug and pats Mrs. Stephens’s back a few times. I’m thankful he’ll make a full recovery. Too many times, people don’t.
I throw my disposable cup into the trash and walk down the hall to the elevators. I could bother one of my siblings or my parents, but I think I’d rather be home for the rest of the evening. I have a class to teach at the resort, and I need some rest before I start my shift there in the morning. I’ll also need some rest before I see Ivy again. I want my head to be clear when I tell her there’s something between us. I don’t want her denying it anymore.
I’m staring at my computer screen. It has my email pulled up, and I’ve hit “compose email” seven times, hit the “x” to close it just as many, and that brings me back to my staring. I’m supposed to be sending my father an update on the progress I’ve made and the plans I’ll be implementing. I’ve spoken to two contractors and their crews, they’ll be here tomorrow to start work on the gift shop. I started collecting items from local artisans and now have a plethora of products to showcase.
I’m going to be running an ad for the resort in Denver, hoping to bring in new customers and some of the residents around the area as well. I have a special on our social media account, so if it’s mentioned, you’ll get a promotional 15 percent off your stay with us. That alone has had the phone ringing all morning. Between Jack and I, we’ve managed to book out all the main cabins until New Year’s. We only have two suites left, and then we’ll be considered completely booked for the holiday season, while still able to handle more trafficfrom the people coming in just for the restaurant, gift shop, and to ski and snowboard.
I’ve managed all of this in my first week here, and yet, I have no idea how to tell my father and him not make me feel like I haven’t done enough. I know my ideas are good, and they’re obviously working. Jack told me this is the most action this place has seen in years. I just know that my success will be met with more expectations, most of which will be unattainable. That’s Sullivan Rutherford though. He sets the goals just to move the post later. You’d think I would become accustomed to it. That after years of coming up just a little short in his eyes, I would be more accepting of my family dynamic. It still stings though. I hate that I care. That I’ve always cared when my whole life has been a one-way street. I give and he takes, and that’s when he’s feeling generous.
It’s not hard to see how I ended up in bed with an older man who told me I was special to him. Noah isn’t quite old enough to be my father or anything, but thirteen years feels like a lot when you’re nineteen years old. He said all the right things that a broken teenager wanted to hear, and I preened at every well-positioned compliment.
“Ivy, you’re such an old soul.”
“You really know what you want from life, and I’m starting to think I do too.”
“You’re going to be snatched up before I’ve even had a chance to throw my hat in the ring.”
“I just want to be here for you, Ivy.”
“I care about you so much; I think I might be falling for you.”
That all lasted from age nineteen into twenty until I told him that I missed my period. I wasn’t planning on having achild so soon either, but because of what he had told me, I assumed it wouldn’t be so bad. I was wrong. He was furious. He accused me of trapping him. First for his money and then because I was obsessed with him. That hurt. I didn’t need or want his money, and I thought we cared about each other. I thought I might have been in love with him. I think back to the morning I found out.
