Page 22 of Worth the Want
Her smile is sweet, almost shy. “Yes. I know that.”
“And you’re so smart too.”
“Yep,” she agrees.
“Okay, smarty pants. Let’s get you into some jammies and ready for bed.”
“I’m not tired,” she says, but then she yawns almost immediately after the words leave her mouth.
“You’re not even a little tired?”
“Uh-uh.” She shakes her head at me.
I hum. “What if we read a book together? Would that help?” She nods at my suggestion. “Okay, babygirl. Which PJ’s tonight? Princess gown or sharks?”
“Sharks!” she yells.
“Sharks it is,” I say, picking her up and walking into her bedroom. The pink bow stencils on the walls were Florence’s doing. Hazel loves them. Her bedspread is light pink with small satin bows on the edges. There’s a canopy netting above that gives it a very princess feel. I set her on the bed and open the drawer to her old, cream dresser to get her shark pajamas. It’s one I picked up at a flea market and put new hardware on.
“Alright, Hazey. Let’s get you changed.”
After we’re changed, teeth and hair brushed, I sit down on the couch in the living room, letting Hazel crawl up into my lap. We’ve pickedGuess How Much I Love Youas our book tonight. I feel her yawn, snuggling into me.
“I love you, Hazey,” I whisper over the top of her head.
“I love you bigger than the moon, Daddy.”
“I love you more than that,” I say before reading the story.It’s not a long book, but I think Hazel has fallen asleep before I get to the third page. I keep reading, though, feeling her arm go limp against my chest. After I finish the book, I stay there for a few minutes, soaking up the moment. She’s getting so big.
With my daughter in my arms, I carry her to her room, laying her on her princess bed, covering her up, and tucking in her blanky and stuffies. I kiss her sweet curls once more and then head to change for bed as well. Later in the living room, while I look over a case for a potential client, I see that the light is still on at the guesthouse. Sliding my reading glasses off my nose and setting them on the table beside me, I don’t want to, but I wonder what she’s doing over there tonight and if she may be thinking about me too.
It’s been three days since I talked with Knox and Hazel down by the lake. One week of life at the lake house. I’ve tried my best to keep to myself, but I can’t help the pull I’m feeling. I slept so hard last night, only getting up once in the night to guzzle a glass of water before stumbling back to bed. I had planned on reading more last night, but instead, I called Han while I went through a box, and after that, I felt so tired I just wanted to sleep.
I make myself a tea and a piece of toast, thankful to see that there was already a toaster here. Walking around the small kitchen, I see the various pots and pans, cooking utensils, and even a waffle maker. I’m not really big on cooking meals, but I know how to make a few things. Grilled cheese. Macaroni and cheese. Cheese quesadilla.Okay, so I know that I like cheese.
I’ve been itching to run and have learned over the years that I have to fuel myself if I want to feel good about it afterward. I look out my windows while sipping the rest of my tea. The birds call to one another, and the trees sway in the breeze.I hear the delicate windchime on the porch and see dragonflies flitting about the edge of the lake over the tops of colorful wildflowers.
Getting dressed, I check my weather app. It hasn’t warmed up yet today, so a sweatshirt over my sports bra is necessary. I pull on some bike shorts, socks, and running shoes, making sure to lace them fairly tight. This will be a little different terrain than I’m used to, but I’ve been doing a lot of research on trail running, and I think we’re going to get along just fine.
My hair is causing problems for me. It’s so short, and my little side quest with the scissors leaves strands falling into my face as soon as I secure my hair tie. I need some clips. While looking for my stash of bobby pins, I see a ball cap hanging on a coat rack by the front door. It’s a faded blue and has Canyonlands National Park embroidered in orange on the front. I pull it on and tighten the back, so it fits snugly. Hair contained.
I still have a few boxes to sift through, but the one I went through last night had all my notebooks and pens in it. It gave me an idea, so I grab the hot-pink sticky note after making my bed and throwing my discarded clothes into the basket by the washing machine. By the front door, I grab my running pack. I started carrying mace and a taser on my runs. My keychain has a rape whistle and a compass combo thing on it as well. I do my best to stay safe while continuing to live my life.
Stepping out onto the front porch, I start stretching. The sun is just coming up, lighting up the tops of the evergreen trees in the distance. The little, white house sits in the shadow of the mountain behind me causing the morning chill to still hang in the air around me. I take deep breaths, trying to acclimate to it. I remind myself that although I’ve been running for six years,completed two half marathons and one full, running at this elevation could prove a challenge.
Feeling limber enough to start, I jog over to Knox’s house. Instead of knocking on his door and disrupting his life again, I stick my scribbled note asking about the water heater to his door. Three days of cold showers has to come to an end.
After clearing his front steps, I click the side of my watch that’s connected to my phone app to track my run and vitals throughout it. I slide my phone into its zip pocket on the side of my shorts and take off at a light jog. Thinking it’s better to warm up and see how I feel after the first ten minutes before I pick up my pace. We’ll see how these mountains decide to push me today.
It turns out the mountainsdidwant to push me. I’m a sweating mess when I get back to the property. Knox’s truck is gone when I make it back to the main drive. A quick glance at my watch tells me that I’ve run five miles. It felt more like twelve. The view from up higher on the hiking trail was breathtaking—and that’s not just because I was out of breath after trekking over two miles straight up to the lookout. I’ll have to hike back up there with my camera another day. A picture from there will make another good postcard.
Admiring the big lake house as I pass by, I note the flower boxes under the front windows overflowing with color. It’s odd, Knox doesn’t strike me as the plant-pretty-flowers type of man. Then a thought occurs to me. An absolutely horrifying thought.
Is Knox with someone?
Oh my god. He is. I slap a hand over my forehead. Why had I not assumed this? Neither Winnie nor Rhett mentioned a wife, but I hadn’t exactly asked about a girlfriend. Seeing him naked yesterday now has my face flaming for another reason entirely. He’s told her! Of course he told her! Now she’ll hate me—whoever she is. How will I come back from this? Do I need to apologize to her?I don’t want to move just yet.
While I’m walking to cool down from my run—and my racing thoughts—I pass by the dock. Iamallowed on it now, so I decide to take advantage. Once on the wooden dock, I feel the sun warming me further. The temperature has risen, so I shrug off my sweatshirt, tying it around my waist while walking out. I hear a noise behind me and spin around to see Sally.
