Page 92 of Worth the Want
“Are you sure you’re alright, Honey?”
“I'm alright. I’m with you, so I’m alright,” I tell him.
He kisses my lips softly—it’s so painfully gentle—before helping me into the truck. Before we start the drive home, he pulls me into the middle seat and keeps his hand on the inside of my knee when he isn’t using the gearshift. Like he knows I need his touch right now.
I lean the side of my head that wasn’t hit onto his shoulder and let my tears fall silently. Feeling safe enough to let myself feel the effects of tonight.
Knox Holloway is my safe place.
The truck is mostly quiet, my hand is warm, fingers laced with Knox’s on the seat between us. My tears have dried, and I’m trying my best to keep my focus on the fact that Florence is okay. It’s hard knowing whoever did this is still out there though. We’ve seen multiple police cruisers on the way home, patrolling the area. There’s less activity when we get out of town and further into the mountains.
When we get back to the house, it’s dark. The moon is full, reflected on the lake, and illuminating the guesthouse down the road. As much as I’ve come to love it, the thought of staying there tonight has my stomach in knots. I don’t want to be alone. I want to hold Hazel on my lap and let Knox rub my feet.Now I’m being needy.I’m emotional, my head is hurting a little more than I let on before, and my body is working through memories that claw at me.
I’m so relieved that Lo is going to be okay—at least physically—but my worry is for her mind. My situation was different, but I know what it’s like to have your peace destroyed. Iwant to be there for her in whatever way I can if she wants me to be.
“Hey,” Knox’s deep voice cuts through my worried thoughts.
“Hi.”
“Are you sure you’re okay, Honey?” he asks, reaching across the cab to cradle my cheek in his big hand.
“I’m okay. I’m just worried about Florence.”
“I know. I am too.”
“I-I don’t want to be alone tonight, Knox.” My voice comes out quieter than I intended. It’s weak, raspy from screaming earlier.
“That wasn’t an option, Indie.”
Smiling, I place my hand over the one he still has on my face. “Thank you.”
I’m not sure if I’ll ever understand life. The worst and best things that have ever happened to me happened to me in the span of less than a year. I’ll never not feel the loss of my sister, and nothing in this life will ever replace her. I can only live a life that she would be proud of, that she would laugh with me over. That starts with loving Knox and Hazel with everything I’ve got. Opening the truck door and stepping onto the dirt road, I watch them make it to the top of the stairs, turning to wait for me.
When I meet them, Knox pulls me to him by the back of my head, kissing me hard at first, then softening. “I love you, Indie. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“I feel the same way.”
“Also, please keep in mind when you walk inside that I never thought this is how the night would have ended up,” he tells me, confusing me before opening the door and switchingon the light. When I walk in, tears fill my eyes again, this time for the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
Cuckoo clocks, dozens of them, fill the wall. They’re all different sizes and styles. All incredibly beautiful and take me back to a home that was overflowing with love.
“When did you—” I cut myself off, taking a breath.
“Hazel and I set it up this afternoon. I started collecting the clocks when you mentioned them.”
“That was-that was months ago,” I say, locking my eyes with his.
“It was. And I knew then that you were going to be in my life, Indie. I wanted you then. I want you now. And I—we—would like for you to live here with us.” Hazey stirs in his arms, opening her eyes.
“Will you live with us, Indie?” I look around the room, taking in the finger paintings and a banner hanging in the kitchen.
“I’ve never wanted anything more than to live with you, Hazey.”
She holds her arms out, and I walk into them. Who knew two tiny arms could bring me so much joy. I kiss her cheek, smelling her baby-scented shampoo. “I love you, Hazey. So much.”
“I love you,” she says back to me, still sleepy. My heart explodes. Then Knox squeezes us together, and my ovaries do the same.Where had that come from?
“Do you want more kids?”Are you fucking kidding me?I slap a hand over my mouth. His eyebrows are up to his hairline. I move my hand from my mouth to his. “Wait. No. Don’t answer that. I’m so sorry. I’m tired,reallytired, and my filter is nonexistent when that happens.” He smiles under myfingers.
