Page 132 of Full Tilt
I stared a moment, then shook my head.
He fought to get a breath in. “There’s more to you than us, Kace. Please…don’t hold yourself back. You have too much to give. So much love, Kacey…So much.”
My chest tightened. “I can’t even think about it right now, Jonah…”
“In time,” he said. “Promise me. If you find someone…”
“Never.”
His fingers wove with mine. “No. You will. Love him. Love him with everything. Like you loved me. Love himmore.” His eyes closed. “I’m so happy, Kace. Never like this in my life. It’s…a gift. You know?”
I ran the backs of my fingers along his face. “I know.”
His eyes opened slowly. “Make someone else…feel like I do right now. Okay? Promise.”
I wanted to shake my head and tell him I couldn’t do it. Could never do it. I would never again feel for anyone what I felt for him.
“I love you, Kace,” he said in between shallow little hiccups of air. “I love you so much. Promise…”
“I love you, Jonah. And… Okay. Yes. I promise.” Tears spilled over my cheeks as I nodded. “I promise.”
His eyes closed again. His body settled back into the pillows and his next inhale seemed smooth, the exhale relieved. The corners of his mouth lifted, then stretched further. He smiled. He was beautiful then. Peaceful. Serene.
“I need to tell you something,” I said. “I know you’re tired. Just rest and listen.”
Still smiling, he nodded. “Still here.”
“I love you,” I said. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I wouldn’t give back one second of our time together. Not one.”
“Kace…” he breathed. His hand in mine shook, trying to rise. I brought it up for him and pressed my cheek into his palm. His fingertips rubbed slowly in my hair.
“My heart’s breaking,” I said. “And I’m so happy. You make me so happy. Your love’s made me strong. You’ve made me a better person…” Sobs like little knives in my throat, words trying to dodge around them. “Being loved by you, Jonah…it’s the greatest honor of my life.”
He gazed at me, the tears spilling down his pale face. “God, you… So beautiful,” he whispered. “So beautiful. Don’t want to stop looking at you…but…tired.”
“Sleep,” I said, drawing the edge of the sheet up. “I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll be here the whole time.”
I bent over him, kissed his lips gently, and held his face in my hands. “I love you.”
“I love you, Kace. Love you…” His eyes closed, and within a minute, he slept.
I rested my aching head on the bed beside him, exhausted beyond anything I had ever known. Wrung out and empty of everything. No joy, no pain, no hope and no regret.
I’d left no word unspoken.
My head by Jonah’s hip, I sank into sleep, where I dreamed I was floating in a sea of glass. Suspended and weightless, beauty surrounding me in ribbons of color and swirls of light. Quiet.Peaceful.
Happy.
CHAPTER
FORTY-SIX
Kacey…
No regret.
Only love.
