Page 1 of All In
PART I
Full tilt (n):1. with maximum energy or force; at top speed.
PROLOGUE
“Theo, dear. He wants you.”
Kacey’s soft hand tightened in mine. I looked at my brother’s girlfriend, who gave a wan, reassuring smile. Another squeeze of her hand, then I somehow found the will to stand up.
My mother smiled weakly, hanging on Dad’s arm in the hall outside Jonah’s hospital room. She looked so lost and broken. Frail. Dad looked grim but stoic, holding Mom up. But Jonah was the glue in our family. Without him, we were going to fall apart. It was only a matter of time.
It was time now to say goodbye to my brother. As I walked toward the door of his room, a carousel of images circled my head, each faded with time, as if they’d sat out in the bright sun too long. Jonah and me feeding a goat at the state fair. Jonah and me in swim lessons together. In our Little League uniforms. Walking high school hallways where Jonah was effortlessly popular, and I was his wingman. Visiting Jonah at UNLV, then at Carnegie-Mellon. Swimming with Jonah in Venezuela.
Where he got sick… and I didn’t.
I pushed the door shut and moved to where Jonah lay dying. A thin, pale version of the healthy guy in my mind’s photo album.
“Theo…”
My brother. Struggling to breathe. Struggling to hold on. While I was still strong—strong and ready to tear down the walls of this goddamn place, to set the whole fucking world on fire at the unfairness of it all.
Still not strong enough to walk over to his bed and say goodbye.
Jonah managed a weak smile. “That bad, huh?”
“You’ve looked worse,” I said, finally moving into the room and taking a seat beside his bed.
“Bite me.” His chuckle was a horrible-sounding wheeze. His hand twitched on the blankets. He didn’t even have the strength to lift it. I reached to clasp it, wrapping my fingers around his.
Jonah’s smile faded and his eyes—still sharp—met mine. “I’m worried…about Mom.” His heart could only pump enough air for two or three words at a time, squeezing them out between shallow intakes of breath.
“I’ll take care of her,” I said.
“And Dad… He’ll come around…about your shop. I…believe in you.”
I doubted our father would ever support my work as a tattoo artist, but at that moment, Jonah’sI believe in youwas all I needed.
“Now,” Jonah said, his gaze intent. “The favor…I want from you… Remember?”
I sat forward in the chair. “Name it.”
“Kacey…”
My voice stuck in my throat. I coughed it free. “What about her?”
“You love her.”
The words were weak and soft, yet each one struck my chest like a hammer. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, could hardly blink. I was on fire, a million different emotions boiling in my guts, stealing my air, choking my words.
Despite keeping everything buried, deep down where it could never see the light of day and betray my brother… He saw everything. He always had.
He smiled at my paralyzed expression. “I’m glad, T. I’m so…relieved…it’s you.”
I almost found my voice to tell him it wasn’t me. I wasn’t anything. What the hell did I know about love? Not a damn thing. And he was wrong anyway.
She’ll never love me because she loves only you. Which is how it should be.
“The favor…” Jonah’s gaze bored into mine with all the strength his failing body lacked. “Take care of Kacey. Please. She’ll need you. She’s strong. But if she falls, help her… Love her, Theo. This life is…short. Don’t hold back. Okay?”
