Page 20 of All In
“It’s going to suck for you too,” I said. “If you’re sticking around to watch.”
“I can take it.”
“What about your job?”
“It’s fine.”
“I can’t ask you to—”
“It’sfine, Kace,” he said. “I’ve got it covered.”
His hard tone and stony expression left no room for argument. I hugged my sides and rocked back on my heels. “If you’re sure.”
His face softened. “I’m sure. And it’s late. You should probably try to get some rest.”
“What about you?”
“Once you’re sleeping, I’ll get my stuff from the hotel. Crash on your couch.”
In my bedroom, I kicked off my boots, peeled off my leather pants and sweater, and exchanged them for baggy sweatpants and a plain T-shirt. I crawled onto the bed and curled up around the universe orb, my eyes already starting to droop.
Theo came to the doorway. He stared at the glass a moment, then cleared his throat. “You have a stash in here?” he asked.
“The drawer in the nightstand,” I murmured. Sleep was already coming for me. Behind closed eyes, I heard the drawer open and close. My morning flask of brandy confiscated. A pang of fear and doubt shook my shoulder, begged me to get up and save the stash. But I was sinking too fast.
“Thank you, Teddy,” I said. “I know it’s so much to ask. Too much.”
He pulled the covers higher. I smelled the clean scent of his cologne. “It’s not too much,” he said.
“Liar.”
He grunted what might have been a laugh. “Goodnight, Kace.”
For one short second, his hand rested on my shoulder. I wanted to take it and hold on all night, but the dark kept me limp and motionless.
Still, I knew Theo was there. I wasn’t alone anymore
And that was enough.
That was everything.
I woke in the morning with my stomach twisted in painful knots and a craving in my blood, roaring like a hurricane.
I found Theo asleep on the couch. He wore gray flannel pants and a white wife-beater revealing the inked muscles of his arms. I wandered into the kitchen with the idea I’d make coffee. Like normal people did.
The trash had been taken out and a fresh, empty bag lined the can. I knew then I could check every cabinet, drawer and hiding spot in the entire house and I wouldn’t find one drop of liquor.
I stood in my kitchen, my mouth dry as the Vegas desert, my heart pounding. I didn’t want coffee. I wanted my morning brandy. Or a Bloody Mary. I wanted something hard to drink the way a starving lion wanted red meat.
I tried to muster my courage. No going back now. I had to do this. For Beverly and Henry. For Oscar and Dena. For Teddy, who was giving up so much to stay here with me. Far more than he let on.
For Jonah, I thought.For you, my sweet love. I’ll do this for you.
And though I felt utterly worthless, and the task in front of me seemed impossible, I dared to add myself to the roster.
For me, too. To live.
“Teddy?” I called to him in a tiny voice. He came awake at once, sitting up and glancing around until he saw me. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, clutching my elbows. My skin already felt itchy.
