Page 44 of All In
I twirled my empty seltzer glass around and around. I’d never heard these songs from an audience perspective. Recording and then listening to them filled me with a strange fear. It would be easy to say no. Easy to say thanks, but no thanks, I was happy as is.
But I wasn’t happy.
And doing what scared me was the only way I was going to recover. I didn’t need a Tarot card to tell me.
“Tomorrow is good,” I said to Grant and Phoebe. “Why wait?”
The Olsens hadn’t been lying. Their studio was tiny, but it was also completely professional. It looked like a miniature of the studio where Rapid Confession recorded before the tour. A dim, windowless rectangle, separated by glass into two spaces. The recording area was hardly big enough for a band but would accommodate one chick on a stool with her guitar perfectly well. On the other side of the glass, the soundboard took up half the space—a vast array of knobs, buttons, sliders and other functions I had no clue about.
Posters of indie shows and bands papered the walls of the sound booth, while dark gray foamy-looking stuff, like the inside of egg cartons, covered the walls in the recording space. The whole place reeked of old incense. I loved the vibe of it immediately.
Grant rubbed the back of his neck and gave Phoebe a dark look. “I know it’s not much, and I keep telling Phoebe to chill with the incense…”
“Start wearing deodorant and I’ll consider it,” Phoebe snapped.
“I wear deodorant. Christ, you say something like that in front a potential client?”
They bickered under their breath at each other until I unstrapped my guitar case and set it down like I was unpacking a bag. Then they stopped and stared.
“So,” I said, taking a deep breath. “When can we start?”
Back home, I curled around the universe orb and told Jonah about the new developments.
“It might be the right thing for me,” I said. I usually had a cocktail in hand for these conversations. I clutched the glass tighter instead. “Or it might not. See, those songs…I’ve never heard them outside of myself. What if it’s too hard?”
It was already too hard.
I wiped my tears. “Teddy took me to see your glass when I was in Vegas. And it was so beautiful, Jonah. Your legacy. But remember what you told me in your letter? That our love was your legacy too?” The tears were streaming now, but somehow a smile stretched my lips. “These songs, they’reourlegacy. They’re us. Love. You and me. And I think I should share them. How does that sound?”
It sounded good to me. It soundedright.Maybe recording this album, making those songs permanent, instead of watery breaths in a darkened club that dissipated into the smoky air, was what I was supposed to do. It could be a way to let him go.
I sighed and laid my head next to the glass. My sore eyes grew heavy watching the glowing stars swirl around the planet. I slipped into the twilight space between sleep and awake and felt Jonah with me.
And he was smiling.
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
Three weeks later the album was nearly finished. I still hadn’t heard the whole thing mixed—I’d laid down the guitar track first, then the vocals. Only bits and pieces got played back for me.
I didn’t know what kind of impact it would make on the music world either, despite the fact that Grant and Phoebe were in a state of perpetual giddiness. They assured me over and over again it was going to be a huge hit.
“Even at ninety-nine cents a song, you can make a killing if just one goes big,” Grant told me, his eyes bright behind his glasses.
You can buy a lot of booze too,I thought. An echo of my Rapid Confession days when success wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
We wrapped it up on a Thursday night. Back home, I changed from my recording attire of sloppy jeans and T-shirt to the nicer jeans and blouse for my gig at Le Chacal that night. My cell phone buzzed a text from Theo:You up?
I typed back, thumbs flying.You realize that’s the internationally recognized code for booty call, right?
Nothing for a minute, then:Dirty mind. I was innocently asking if you’re awake.
There’s nothing innocent about you, Teddy. It’s only eight pm here and you know it. What’s up?
You working tongue?
I laughed.No, my tongue has the night off.
