Page 48 of All In
I inspected myself in the mirror. None of the other bridesmaids had a black flower, but none of them had ink all up their arms, either. But I had to admit, the black rose was a perfect accessory, complementing my tattoos and bringing the whole look together.
Tania approached. “You’re the most badass bridesmaid I’ve ever seen,” she said, looking resplendent in her own dress. She linked her arm in mine. “Come on. It’s time to rock ‘n’ roll.”
We descended the stairs and a harried-looking wedding planner jostled us into place. Dena was like a cloud of calm, floating among us in her white silk dress, while the rest of us fluttered around her like nervous birds.
A cellist played Pachelbel’s Canon in D, and we took our turns marching out of the house and between the rows of white chairs set up on the lawn. Oscar and his groomsmen were already under a white awning, wreathed in green vines and pink flowers.
I took my turn down the aisle, paranoid my heels were going to dig too deep into the lush grass and send me sprawling in front of everyone.
How would that be for badass?
Oscar looked handsome in his tux but a bit petrified. My eyes found Theo standing beside him. In a tux.
Oh, wow…
He looked devastatingly handsome. His dark hair slicked back, his hands clasped in front of him where cufflinks glinted in the sun. His expression was flat with boredom, until he caught sight of me. His mouth fell open a little and his eyes widened.
I smiled at him, tried a little wave behind my small bouquet of white roses. Theo didn't respond but stared at me in that way he had, like he couldn't believe I was real. I thought he was playing around but as I neared my place on the platform, his stare hardened and then he suddenly looked away.
Okay, then.
The ceremony was the perfect length—not too short to make all the fuss seem excessive, and not too long that anyone grew impatient. Oscar and Dena exchanged traditional vows, then kissed as the sun sank beneath them. The crowd cheered and the procession returned to the house for the reception.
For the recessional, I was paired up with a buddy of Oscar's. Theo naturally escorted the Maid of Honor, who clutched his arm extra snugly, I noticed. She giggled something in his ear that he ignored.
Once inside the manor house, Theo ignored me, too. The bridal party took photos with Oscar and Dena, then we were free to enjoy the cocktails and hors d'oeuvres being served in a grand sitting room. A cellist played in the corner under the muted conversations of a hundred guests.
Over a little plate of snacks, Beverly gushed over Theo, Tania, and I. Henry made me promise to save him a dance, even though his eyes strayed to my tattoos more than once while we chatted. Theo didn't say a word.
“What’s wrong, dear?” Beverly asked. “Nervous for your toast?”
“Yeah,” he muttered. “I guess.”
I pulled him aside. “Hey. How you holding up? For real.”
“For real? I fucking hate giving speeches.”
“Picture everyone in their underwear. I hear that helps.”
“I picture everyone thinking,Jonah should be up there.”
The smile fell off my face like a paper mask. “Teddy,” I said softly.
“It was already hard without him here. I’m making it ten times worse.”
“That’s not true,” I said.
He glanced around darkly. “Isn’t it? It’s what I'm thinking. Jonah and Oscar were best friends. I’m like a bad stand-in.”
“That’s not true,” I said, gripping his arm. “We all miss Jonah, but no one thinks that you’re…”
“The consolation prize?” Theo said, meeting my eyes for the first time. “Forget it. I just want to get this over with.” He downed his flute of champagne and set it down on a small table.
“You’re going to do great,” I said.
His expression softened as he took in my dress, my hair, and then his gaze swept over my face. He looked about to say something, but changed his mind, his features hardening again. “Oscar should’ve picked someone else,” he said, and walked away.
I started to follow after, to tell him that Oscar picked him because he wantedhim, but the wedding planner threw open the doors to the grand ballroom and the guests flowed in, carrying me on the current.
