Page 91 of Crash: Love in Scrubs
When I pulled into the driveway, I could see Samaj through the living room window, scrolling through his phone. Thenormalcy of it filled me with relief. My son had matured so much in such a short time, handling everything with grace, I wasn’t sure I possessed at his age. It took everything in me to fight the emotions threatening to bubble over, these pregnancy hormones were no joke.
“Ma, you’re home,” he called out as I walked through the front door. “How was school? You good?”
“Good. Learned some things about myself,” I said, setting my bag down and kicking off my shoes. “Speaking of learning, we need to go shopping for your school stuff. Your supply list is probably a mile long. And Samaj? I’m proud of you, kid.”
He groaned dramatically. “Can’t we just order it online? And thank you, Ma. I don’t know what I did specifically, but I’ll take it.”
“Boy, no. We’re going to Walmart like normal people. Plus, I need to get out of this house before I go stir-crazy. Summer will be over before you know it.”
“And I know how much you just lovesummer,” he mocked with a grin.
“I do, but I was saying I’m proud of you for how you’ve been handling yourself. You’ve worked hard, maintained your mental health, and welcomed a new person into our circle with maturity. And you’ve been such a big help to me. I can see the growth. Keep it up.”
“Time out for games. I had to get my head on straight.”
I sighed because there were the tears again. He had grown up so much right before my eyes. I blinked to hold them back and got myself together.
“Let’s go.Cry Babycomes on tonight.”
“Ma, no, please no.”
I ignored him.
An hour later, we were walking through the aisles of Walmart with a cart that was steadily filling up with notebooks, pens, andall the random supplies his teachers had requested. Samaj was pushing the cart while I checked items off the list.
“Ma, can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
He stopped walking and looked at me seriously. “Are you and Malik gonna be okay? Like, for real?”
I paused, holding a pack of highlighters. “I think so. We just need to work some things out. It’s grown people stuff, let me worry about that.”
“Good. Because I don’t want this to be my fault. And I don’t want you to be raising another baby by yourself because of me. Plus, I really like Malik.”
“Samaj, stop.” I put the highlighters in the cart and faced him fully. “None of this is your fault. Everyone made their own choices. You don’t carry that responsibility.”
He nodded but still looked troubled. This was exactly why I was upset with Malik for sharing too much with Samaj. My son wasn’t a baby, but some conversations I didn’t want him navigating alone.
It was moments like this that made me want to kick my own ass. Because even though Ashe started this mess, when Malik wanted to finish it, I got mad at him for that.
We continued shopping without saying much for a few minutes before he spoke again.
“Can I get a car? So, I can help out more. Malik said he would get me one. But with your approval, though. He said he didn’t want to overstep.”
I raised an eyebrow. “A car? When did this conversation happen? I didn’t even know you wanted one.”
“I didn’t want you stressing about affording it, but when we were in Alabama, he let me drive on some back roads when we went to the store. He made it clear it was only if you were cool with it.”
Despite everything, I found myself smiling. “Well, that’s progress. At least he’s learning to ask permission before making big decisions about our family.”
The silent treatment and space was definitely working.
“So can he get me a car?” Samaj asked with a hopeful grin.
“We’ll see. Depends on what kind. No sports car. You need something practical and reliable. And just because you get a car doesn’t give you permission to run the streets.”
“So I can’t get a Scat?”
