Page 44 of From the Courtroom to the Court
They settle at one of the tables on the terrace under an umbrella and order two sodas.
"I wanted to apologize for my attitude the other day," Emily says, and Leah appreciates that the conversation starts quickly with no awkward silences.
"You don't need to apologize, Emily, I..."
"Wait, Leah, don't interrupt me, please," the lawyer requests, raising a hand.
"Sure, sorry."
"Look, I'm a very open person about almost everything, Leah, as you've probably noticed, but not about feelings. Expressing what I feel or how I feel is something that's very hard for me, so I have the bad habit of keeping everything to myself. I'm telling you this so you understand how difficult this conversation is for me, which is why I need you to let me speak without interrupting," she insists.
"No worries, say what you need to say," Leah says, feeling consumed by nerves.
"At this point, I don't know if my reaction when I kissed you the other day was right or not. Since we met, I felt we connected really well, there was incredible chemistry between us that at first simply seemed like two people who click and could have a good friendship, but I quickly realized it was something more for me and, I don't know, I had the feeling it was for you too. When I kissed you on the court, it really was caught up in the moment, but I liked it so much I would have continued."
Emily pauses to drink, and Leah tries to stop her hands from shaking while biting her tongue to avoid interrupting the conversation until Emily says everything she needs to say.
"I like you so much, Leah," she says, looking into her eyes with an intensity that makes the tennis player's heart flip, "I can't deny that, nor can I deny that I had built up hopes thinking it was mutual and that we could start something. I never imagined you were with someone, and I felt tremendously disappointed when you told me," Emily swallows and bites her lips for a moment.
Leah tenses and rubs her hands hard under the table, containing the impulse to stand up and hug her, mentally scolding herself for those crazy urges to kiss her that are burning her from inside.
"But I want you to know that I have no intention of interfering in the relationship with your girlfriend. We're two adult women, we made a mistake, and that's it. What I want to ask is that we forget it and start from scratch. I don't want to stop training with you, Leah, or lose you as a friend. I like you a lot, and now that I know you're not available, this will pass, don't worry. Do you think you can forget what happened?"
"The truth is I can't, Emily," Leah says, staring at her.
Emily swallows and drops her shoulders. Deep down, she expected an answer like this and understands.
"I can't forget it because I like you a lot too, Emily," Leah continues, and Emily looks up and opens her mouth, trying to catch her breath.
"What are you saying?"
"Don't ask me how it happened, but it did, and I can't get you out of my head. You drive me crazy, Emily Harris," she confirms, and Emily feels herself melt.
Her heart beats so fast she can barely think. Her hands tremble, and she wants to jump on Leah, sit on her lap, and kiss those lips with nothing to stop or interrupt them, but there is something stopping her, something very real she can't ignore.
"And what about your girlfriend?" the lawyer asks, her voice breaking with emotion.
"I'm going to break up with her. I know it sounds like the typical promise, that I should have done it already, but she's at a retreat for athletes, and until she returns, I can't go see her to tell her. Our relationship wasn't going well, Emily. Actually, it's not that we were bad either, it was just something superficial, something that interested both of us, in a way," she says and sighs, trying to push away the nerves she feels. "I'll tell you more details another time, but what's happened between you and me has only confirmed what I already knew, that my relationship with Stella isn't going anywhere."
Emily takes a few seconds to look at Leah and confirm she's serious.
"Alright, I'll trust that you'll do what you say, Leah," Emily says, and this time she does give her one of her radiant smiles.
"I swear, but until then, you and I can't, you know..." Leah raises an eyebrow and tilts her head with a wolfish expression that sends a shock through Emily's body that explodes between her legs.
Emily fluffs her shirt, feeling it's suddenly very tight.
"Yes, of course," she says and takes a sip of her soda, "I had no intention," she laughs, making Leah laugh too and dispersing the sexual tension between them a little.
Chapter 22
"How did you feel after being honest?" Dr. Mitchell asks.
Emily Harris is attending her third appointment with the psychiatrist. The first one since going to the club two evenings ago and telling Leah face-to-face how she feels about her. The lawyer's surprise was so pleasant that night, overcome with emotion, she struggled to fall asleep. Also because she stopped by her favorite café and bought a chocolate coffee shake that, at first, helped her enjoy the moment when the tennis player told her she felt the same way, but when the caffeine entered her bloodstream, it made her more nervous.
Now Emily lies on the couch, talking with the doctor as if she's been her lifelong friend.
"It was liberating," she says. "It was hard to do it, well, you already know that, but that day I was certain I would do it."
