Page 50 of From the Courtroom to the Court
Leah moistens her lips before swallowing and nodding with a grimace while a small knot tightens in her throat.
"I'm sorry, Stella, but I think continuing doesn't make sense. We both know our relationship isn't going anywhere," Leah explains, stretching her hand across the table.
Stella hesitates, but takes it.
"We have our differences and our relationship isn't perfect, but you never cared before," Stella says. "Why now?"
A shiver runs through Leah; she doesn't want to lie, but causing pain without reason isn't part of her plan.
"Because now I feel I need more and you can't give it to me, Stella, and even if you could, we're not in love and you know it," Leah explains in a burst of sensibility.
"Yes, I guess that's true, but I didn't think it would happen like this, without time to prepare myself."
"I'm really sorry," Leah squeezes her hand affectionately and bites her lips.
Even though love isn't enough between them, she cares for Stella and the last thing she wants is to hurt her.
"I know, I'm sorry too that it couldn't work out. I really would have liked things between us to be different. Maybe at another time the feelings would have been different..."
Leah knows that's not true, that at another time, there probably wouldn't have been anything between them, but she smiles fondly.
"Yes, maybe. How did you know I was going to break up with you?" she asks, trying to ease the tension in the conversation.
Stella smiles with a satisfied expression and releases her hand to drink from her glass. Leah experiences a sensation of relief at being freed.
"Because you came voluntarily and suddenly. The last few times, I've been the one asking you to come, and you've always complained about having to be the one to travel. Not this time. You called me as soon as I got back from the retreat, like you'd been waiting, like you were in a hurry, and you showed up here as soon as I arrived. It could only be two things: either you were dying to see me or you came to break up with me," Stella pauses and Leah swallows, "and considering how the relationship has been going lately, it wasn't hard to figure out you came for the second reason, so, in a way, I've had some time to prepare myself," she says, making a gesture with her fingers.
"I really am sorry, Stella," Leah insists.
"Is there someone else, Leah?" Stella asks bluntly, looking at Leah with an intensity that makes her nervous. "I won't get angry with your answer. If there's someone else, I'll understand. We live far apart and barely see each other..."
Stella makes a guilty pause, and Leah doesn't need to ask anything to confirm her suspicions that she has been with other women.
"I'm asking because your rush still doesn't make sense to me, no matter how much you say you need more now," Stella finishes.
"There's no one else," Leah responds firmly, "but I hope there will be, Stella. There's someone I like, and I couldn't stay with you when I can't stop thinking about her," she decides to be honest.
Leah omits the kisses with Emily that, although not sought after, she didn't reject either. It doesn't seem necessary to share information that can only cause pain. Deep down, she appreciates Stella's silence about her adventures, so she figures it's best to do the same.
"In that case, I wish you lots of luck, Leah. You deserve someone who makes you happy and can always be by your side," says Stella, and Leah knows she's sincere.
Her chest tightens and her eyes well up. Again, she stretches out her hand and they intertwine their fingers on the table, only this will be the last time they do so.
"I hope the same for you, Stella," Leah says.
"I know," Stella smiles at her. "Would you like to share one last meal? At that retreat the food was awful and I'm starving; I need a good binge on something decent."
Leah bursts out laughing and raises her hand to call the waitress.
Chapter 26
Emily Harris walks at a brisk pace toward Harris & Associates. She juggles her phone in one hand, her purse and a drink carrier containing two cold beverages in the other—one of those sugary concoctions she loves, loaded with caramel and topped with whipped cream. She nearly collides with a girl who's absentmindedly walking her dog. Further ahead, she luckily dodges two colleagues exiting the law firm until she finally reaches the elevator that takes her to her floor. She exits with the same speed she entered and turns right to open a door that isn't her office.
"I'm sorry," Emily blurts as she enters the office.
Emma looks up and watches her with a flushed face. She appears to have just played a tennis match under the merciless summer sun. She doesn't say anything, just smiles and extends her arm to receive her Chai Latte.
"Where are you coming from?" her cousin asks after taking a sip of her drink and closing her eyes with pleasure as the liquid slides down her throat.
