Page 58 of From the Courtroom to the Court
Ten minutes later, the apartment doorbell alerts her that her guest has arrived. She walks calmly, hiding a nervousness that hasn't left her skin since that morning when Mia asked to settle once and for all what's happening between them. She opens the door and freezes. There stands that arrogant caddie with her casual air, dressed in simple black jeans, matching sneakers, and a fitted white t-shirt. Her hair hangs loose, slightly damp, and Emma catches the minty scent of her shampoo. It pisses the lawyer off—tremendously—that her heart pounds so powerfully when the girl is near.
"Are you going to let me in?" asks Mia, smiling crookedly. She knows Emma likes her, despite trying to fight against her feelings.
"Of course," says the lawyer nonchalantly and steps aside to let her enter.
Mia takes several steps and stops in the living room. She feels somewhat disoriented; she knows the economic level the Harris family enjoys, but the apartment she's entered seems more like a luxury hotel than a home. Since meeting Leah Walker, she's seen many places and people with money, and she knows perfectly well that most who display their properties like magazine photos do it more for appearance than anything else.
"Is there a problem?" asks Emma, noticing her guest isn't moving and is observing everything with mechanical movements.
Mia shakes her head and turns to hand her a cloth bag she's carrying.
"None," she resolves. "Here, I brought a bottle of red wine and some beers."
"You didn't have to bother," Emma responds politely, "I have everything planned."
By planned, she means she called a restaurant where she usually meets her friends and ordered enough food for both of them, plus the best wine she could get. Emma Harris has ensured it will be a perfect evening.
Mia could say many things, but doesn't want to offend her host. She appreciates that Emma organized everything so well, though it wasn't what she imagined when they agreed to have dinner at home and talk more intimately.
"Come," the caddie requests when Emma exits the kitchen. "Join me on the couch."
Emma frowns. She hesitates for a second, then approaches Mia.
"Take off those heels, please," the request comes with an almost erotic scan from Emma's feet to her face.
The lawyer remains confused, but that doesn't prevent her from complying with Mia's request. She feels that from those lips she kissed a few nights ago, only enchanted words emerge that she can't help but follow. They sit on the couch, and without thinking, the caddie takes one of Emma's feet and begins massaging it skillfully. The lawyer nearly lets out a squeal of pure pleasure feeling those expert fingers bringing relief to her sore sole.
"When I asked for intimacy, I also meant comfort," says Mia, smiling as Emma closes her eyes from the massage. "Don't get me wrong, you look beautiful and your place is very nice, but nobody can think clearly wearing those infernal shoes."
Emma laughs, half amused and half nervous from the compliment she received. It's ironic she's tired of hearing she's pretty, but on Mia's lips, it sounds much better.
"I want to be very honest with you, Emma, and I want you to be honest too," she delves into the conversation that brought them together tonight. "I like you, I really do, and it's been a long time since a girl attracted me this way, but I have my priorities, things that come above everything, even above what I feel for you."
Emma wants to say something, but finds herself speechless. She prefers Mia to continue while she unclogs her throat.
"Since what happened with my parents, my goal in life has been to get Aaron back. I've fought tooth and nail to clean my record and become who I am now," Mia takes Emma's other foot and continues her massage. "I've dated several women, but I've always been clear that I don't want to be with someone who causes me problems, and if you're not clear, you will cause them."
"Me?" Emma finally speaks and points to herself. "Between us, I think you're the one who might cause problems here."
They both laugh. Emma has said these words smiling and trying to help them both relax with the joke.
"I want to be at peace, focus on getting my brother back and giving him the best I can, not racking my brain thinking my girlfriend is uncomfortable because I work at an elite club picking up balls, that I don't drive a high-end car, or that my parents aren't prestigious investors," the conversation turns more serious and Emma straightens her back. "I am what you've already seen, and I'd like to keep discovering what's behind that gold armor you always wear, but under no circumstances will I do it if you try to hide me from the world."
Emma looks at Mia in silence. All she hears is the crackling of a couple of candles on the side table and the sound of her own heart. She's never thought about hiding a partner; she's never had the need to do so because they've all been from her same circle. Now that Mia has mentioned it, she feels strange, miserable, and even somewhat disgusted. The girl is right; if she puts herself in Mia's position, she wouldn't accept being with someone who's ashamed of her or tries to hide her.
"I think we have a connection, you know?" Mia continues talking, she's also nervous and finds it hard to stay silent. "I don't know if you believe in these things; I do. There are hundreds, thousands of people who pass through our lives and only a few pull at your soul as if they had a magnet. I feel that with you I have some kind of bond that does me good," Mia readjusts herself on the couch and this time faces Emma with a serious expression. "But that won't make me stay by your side if you don't do things right."
That last comment seems to give the lawyer the strength to speak. She doesn't want the girl to think she has no interest, though she doesn't know if what she'll say will benefit her or, on the contrary, push away any chance of dating the caddie.
"Although my life has always been pretty easy, from a very young age I chose this bubble I'm still in, and I find it hard to leave," seeing Mia's confused face, Emma tries to explain better. "I decided to mingle with people who live for appearances, you know, who has the best car, who makes the most money, has the most powerful partner... a world of fake friends, expensive clothes, and elegant parties. Without wanting to, I got used to it. I can't eat a hamburger no matter how much I want one, go without heels, or stop choosing clothes as if I were in an eternal beauty pageant. In that, Emily has always been very different and never understood why I stay in this world where I don't belong."
"It's never too late to make a change, Emma, but you have to want it. If you feel good where you are, no matter how hard you try, you'll never manage to leave."
Emma sketches a tired smile and shakes her head.
"Last week I was at a penthouse, at a small gathering I was invited to. You don't know how much I wanted to stay home watching a scary series, terrified in each episode," Emma catches Mia's laughter. "But instead, I spent part of Saturday at the salon, then getting my nails done, and finally wearing an incredibly uncomfortable dress to spend hours listening to a bunch of idiots discuss which five-star hotel is better for a party or about the new car that just hit the market. I've been feeling this way for years; however, I've stayed in the same place without even considering setting aside these people and really doing what I want. Until now."
Silence envelops them. Emma feels she may have said too much and Mia thinks she hasn't heard correctly.
