Page 17 of No One's Like You
Chapter 10
After three days of licking her wounds and devouring all the bags of beignets from Susy's bakery, Ruby feels somewhat better and ready to talk about her breakup with someone other than her mother. That afternoon, the three friends plan to meet at their usual bar, near Jerome's hair salon, and Ruby genuinely looks forward to having a beer in good company while feeling the sun hit her face. She hasn't told Ellie about it these past days because fate decided they wouldn't cross paths at the bar. It happens rarely, but her friend had two meetings with her lawyer to finalize some divorce clauses, and Ruby has also been busy with preparations for the themed party. This morning, she simply sent her business partner a message saying she would go straight to meet Jerome, a comment that needs no further explanation because Ellie understands she won't stop by the bar beforehand.
Ruby opens the closet looking for a t-shirt and, when pulling open the first drawer, her eyes well up. She did it out of habit, even though she knows perfectly well thatdrawer belonged to Amelia, but Ruby always stole some of her clothes and this time she did it without thinking. Her now ex-girlfriend's scent overwhelms her, that fruity mixture she'd been using for years that permeated everything in its path. She looks up, grabs a t-shirt from the hanger, and closes the doors as if the devil himself might escape from there. She takes a deep breath—damn guru—and exhales very slowly. She knows the decision she made is best for both of them, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. She misses her; Amelia was a fantastic girl, and it stings to know she won't have her this close again. She grabs her car keys and leaves her house quickly; she needs some fresh air.
"What's wrong, Ruby?" Ellie's alarms sound uncontrolled.
Jerome also tilts his head to get a good look at his friend; she has a pale face and pronounced dark circles of someone who hasn't been sleeping well for days. Ruby doesn't answer immediately; first she sits at the table and thinks about what to say and how, because she's clear she's going to tell them, but she doesn't feel like making it a prolonged conversation. That pain is hers, hers and Amelia's. Besides, telling her friends that one of the reasons for their breakup is because she's been in love with Ellie for more than two decades doesn't seem like a very nice thing to do.
"Amelia and I broke up," she says at once, like someone who quickly rips off a bandage to avoid the pain.
Jerome opens his eyes wide and, although he loves drama, his gesture is genuine. It was just a few weeks ago that they heard the news of Ellie's separation and had that conversation where Ruby confirmed she was fine with Amelia.
Ellie twists her expression. From the outside, it's impossible to tell if it's a grimace of annoyance, disappointment, sadness, or relief. Jerome glances at her sideways looking for some clue, but the girl turns slightly and gently caresses Ruby's thigh.
"How are you?" is all her friend asks, seeking her gaze.
Ruby shrugs, and the lump in her throat suffocates her again. Ellie's warm hand slides a little further up her leg and with the other, she leaves a caress on her face.
"You'll be okay, I promise," Ellie whispers, and the hair on Ruby's neck stands on end.
Ellie struggles to understand her friend's pain because she felt nothing like it when she broke things off with Marcel. All she felt was disappointment and anger toward herself because all her relationships went to hell. It was as if she were experiencing impostor syndrome and she really wasn't good at romantic relationships. In contrast, Ruby seems affected; she seems to have really loved that girl so much that not seeing her every night at home was a small torture. Ellie's stomach does a flip, a strange sensation that makes her furrow her brow. It's normal that she loved Amelia; they'd been together for several years and as far as she knew, they didn't have any problems.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Ellie decides to give her friend space, and besides, she needs to splash some water on her face. She needs it.
"I'm sorry, Ruby," her friend says the words Ellie hasn't spoken. "I know you loved her."
Ruby nods and wipes a treacherous tear from her right eye.
"I knew it would hurt, but not like this," she answers, bringing several fingers to the center of her chest and massaging it.
"Did you have a fight?"
"Nothing like that," Ruby responds, shaking her head. "We were stuck, Jerome. It seemed like we'd been together for fifty years. Maybe we were better than any other couple; we still had sex, laughed together. But we were really like invisible to each other, you know? We didn't pay as much attention to what we said; plans between us had almost completely disappeared. We stopped having things in common, like those getaways just for her and me, or Sunday walks to the river. It was like we didn't care if we saw each other or not. We settled for sleeping in the same bed."
Jerome understands her; his last relationship was the same—the only difference was that that jerk Mike Thompson had slept with half the apartment block, not counting those at his gym.
"I think you made a good decision," Jerome ventures. "You deserve to feel complete, Ruby, and Amelia does too.The pain will pass, and you'll always have the memory of a relationship that made you feel good."
Ruby turns her neck to make sure her best friend is still inside the place and refocuses on Jerome.
"I don't know what to do now."
"It's your opportunity, don't let it pass," says Jerome, knowing she's talking about Ellie.
"What if all these signals I see are just my imagination?" she says anxiously, touching her head.
Jerome clicks his tongue.
"You've spent your whole life loving her, and if you don't go for it, you'll never know how she feels," Jerome avoids saying that Ellie seems more in love than Ruby herself, but that's not his place to say.
"I need a few days," Ruby responds. "The Amelia thing is still very recent."
"Take all the time you need, but don't overthink it."
"I need a plan," she says, having repeated that same phrase to herself several times throughout her life.
"Count me in," says Jerome, clapping. "The pussy-conquering plan is activated."
