Page 26 of No One's Like You
"Why do you say that?" Jerome asks, distressed to see Ruby's watery eyes.
"Because she never had any intention of stopping being with men. She installed one of those dating apps and met up with a jerk she's probably already slept with, and who knows how many more. I have to accept it, for Ellie I'm just Ruby, her childhood friend, that's it."
"Ruby..."
"It sucks, Jerome," Ruby continues. "It's hard for me and I feel very lost. Every time she hugs me or kisses me I get in a bad mood, now I don't know how to act with her because I need to do something to push her away from me and at the same time I don't want to lose her friendship."
"I'm sorry you're going through this," Jerome says, taking her hand.
"Yeah..." she sighs, looking at her friend's huge hand. "Before it was different. She was with Marcel and I was with Amelia, I accepted that things were that way, that I'd never have her, but now... Damn, now I can't stand thinking that she's going out with other people, that she's sleeping with those guys who only see a pretty body in her," Ruby looks away, knowing she's rambling.
"This is my fault," Jerome says with remorse. "I shouldn't have encouraged you to go for her. I should have seen it coming too. Ellie is a wild spirit, unable to see what's right in front of her. Just as I encouraged you to try something with her, now I'm asking you to do the opposite, try to meet other people, Ruby."
"I'm doing that," Ruby smiles bitterly. "The other day I downloaded a dating app. Not with the intention of having anything serious with anyone because I don't want to actbadly again like I did with Amelia. While I'm still in love with Ellie, I won't date anyone again, but I plan to fuck like crazy."
"That's the spirit," Jerome cheers with a little shout. "Operation wet panties is underway."
Ruby bursts out laughing and after a bit more chat, they say goodbye. He returns to the hair salon, she to her mother's house to have lunch with her.
"How are you today, honey?" Adele asks, squeezing her in a hug when Ruby arrives.
She shrugs, the Ellie situation isn't going to pass for a long time, she's sure of that.
"What kind of answer is that?" Adele protests.
Ruby sits on the sofa, crossing her legs while hugging a cushion. Adele sits beside her.
"I feel stuck, mom," Ruby suddenly admits.
Two huge drops leap from her eyes and begin to roll down her cheeks. Ruby runs her fingers to clean them, but it makes no sense to continue because after those, many more come.
"Why, sweetheart?" Adele asks, pulling a handkerchief from the pocket of the apron she's wearing.
"Because I don't know how to move forward. Everyone else does except me," she confesses while tears continue to wet her flushed cheeks. "Amelia has moved on with her life, she's going on a trip and seems happy. And Ellie, well, she's already dating men again, as if she's in a hurry to find a replacement for Marcel, and here I am, in love with her likea fool, waiting for a chance that will never come and not knowing what to do to forget about her."
Adele pulls her against her body and hugs her, letting her vent.
"You need to create distance, Ruby," her mother murmurs softly.
Now that Ruby has opened up to her, she feels entitled to give her opinion and tell her what she thinks is best for her daughter.
"Being with Ellie every day makes it almost impossible for you to stop feeling what you feel for her. You should get away for a while, take a break in your life to regroup. Sometimes, it's necessary to take a step back to move forward."
Ruby stops crying, listening attentively.
"You always said you wanted to do Route 66," Adele continues. "I never encouraged you because I'm terrified of you making that trip alone. I know you postponed it because Ellie said she wanted to go with you and that, with the bar situation, you've never found the right time. Maybe the time is now, honey, but just for you."
Suddenly, Ruby sees a flash of light amid so much darkness and sits up to look at her mother.
"You're right, the business works really well and Ellie could run it by herself for a few months without a problem. I could make the trip," she says enthusiastically at the idea of having time for herself, time in which she can stop feeling what she feels for Ellie, at least try to.
"Exactly, Ellie can manage perfectly well," her mother agrees.
"Yes, but I can't leave until we solve the issue with the place," Ruby mutters, twisting her expression.
"What problem?" her mother frowns.
Ruby looks at her and realizes she hasn't told her yet. She curls up again in her lap, where she feels safe, and explains what Chris Fox told them the other day.
