Page 44 of No One's Like You
"Okay," Ellie says once they sit down. "Let's talk. What do you need to know?" she asks as if she's reading Ruby's mind.
Ruby lets out a little laugh through her nose while spreading butter on her toast, taking a few seconds to organize her thoughts.
"I need to know that last night wasn't just an impulse," Ruby says directly. "That you didn't come here because you were turned on or because you needed to sleep with me to clear up your doubts, for better or worse."
"I would never do that to you, Ruby. I would never sleep with you to clear up my doubts, especially knowing how you feel about me. I came here because I'm very sure of what I want. I've known since we kissed that night at dinner, though I needed time to put all the pieces together."
Ellie takes a sip of orange juice before continuing.
"I feel so stupid for not seeing all this before. For confusing what I feel with a friendship that was too deep. Now I understand so many things, you know?" she asks with a frustrated smile.
"Like what?" Ruby asks with interest.
"Like the jealousy I've always felt when a girl approaches you," Ellie pauses and shakes her head, surprised at her blindness. "I lied to myself thinking it was something like a concerned friend's fear that you'd get hurt. But it wasn't that at all—it was jealousy. I hated seeing them kiss you or that beautiful smile of yours not being just for me. Like I told you, I've looked for you in every man I've dated, and I also made the mistake of wondering what you saw in those women when the question I was really asking was: what did they have that I didn't?"
"So, what do we do now?" Ruby asks, overwhelmed by everything she just heard.
"For my part, I've never been clearer about anything in my life than I am now. I want us to be together, to try and see how it goes. As long as you want the same thing."
"Yes, of course," Ruby says, her eyebrows rising as a smile of disbelief forms on her face, "it's what I've always wanted, Ellie."
Ellie stands up, leans over Ruby, and kisses her.
"I'm sorry I made you wait so long," she says and then kisses her hair before returning to her chair.
"I guess this is our time," Ruby says. "You took a while to realize, but I've lived deceiving myself for a long time, thinking I could be happy with other women."
"Weren't you happy with Amelia?" Ellie asks with a furrowed brow. Although she liked her, Amelia is the woman she's been most jealous of because the connection between her and Ruby was so obvious.
"I was, but I never stopped feeling like I had an emptiness inside that could never be filled with her. Actually, I was selfish. I should never have dragged things out with Amelia for so long. It wasn't fair to her."
"You did what you thought was right at the time. You were trying to survive, I guess," Ellie says sadly, unable to imagine the extent to which she's hurt the woman she loves most in the world.
"Well, it's all clear now. Let's leave the past behind and focus on the present," Ruby says.
"Sounds good to me," Ellie agrees. "What do we do now? Are you going to tell anyone?"
"Yes," Ruby assures her. "My mother should know. She's been worried about this all along."
"Wait, your mother knew you were in love with me?" Ellie asks, surprised, her eyes so wide that Ruby fears they might pop out of their sockets.
"I think she knew even before I did," Ruby smiles with a certain embarrassment. "You know how hard it is to hide things from my mother."
"Oh my God," Ellie says in horror, bringing a hand to her mouth. "Adele must hate me."
"My mother adores you, you know that. She never blamed you for anything. The problem was mine, not yours."
Ellie sighs with some relief.
"I also want to tell Jerome," Ruby continues. "You have no idea how many times he's put up with my complaints. He deserves to know."
Ellie rubs her temples while nodding. She still can't believe that everyone knew except her.
"Are you going to tell your mother?" Ruby asks.
"Yes, but not yet. Not because I have doubts about what I feel for you, but it's too soon to know how this will go. We've been friends who get along wonderfully our whole lives, but now other factors come into play, and you know my mother—as soon as she finds out, she'll start planning our wedding," Ellie says, rolling her eyes.
Ruby lets out a loud laugh while nodding affirmatively. That's definitely Margaret's style.
