Page 30 of Hephaestus
After all, Hestio brought us out here so that we could celebrate my accomplishments and new role. So, me having such negative feelings would only hinder our plans to be jubilant during our time here in Arcadia.
Before I could even take a moment to now appreciate the tranquility and seclusion I had presumed I had here in this spot, the sound of nearby footsteps in the bristling thickets of the fields caught my attention.
I abruptly and clumsily rose to my feet to prepare myself for whatever the source of the noise was. It could be a wild boar or even an enemy ready to strike for all I knew. But what emerged from the bushes and revealed itself to me was an odd-looking man. His features were tan. He adorned a dark brown cloth that draped around his body. His clothing matched his thick, rough facial hair. Although those were the characteristics of his that first caught my eye, it was another the really held my focus.
The man had a revealed erection that was fully exposed and completely oversized. Based on this bizarre trait, I had a suspicion as to just who he was, exactly.
“You are Hephaestus, the God of fire and blacksmithing, correct?” he asked the moment he locked eyes with me.
I nodded. “Yes. That is me. And I believe you are Priapus?”
“Ah. Very observant,” he simply stated, letting me know that I was accurate in my guess as to who he was.
Priapus was a minor, rustic god, not really having significant powers and recognitions as we gods and goddesses that resided on Mount Olympus had. However, he did possess a few titles that were bestowed on him. He was a god of livestock, gardens, flora, as well as fertility. Furthermore, he was the God of male genitalia, for obvious and apparent reasons.
According to rumors and accounts of his childhood that I heard about in casual conversation and storytelling with Thetis and Eurynome, Priapus was cursed with an immense, permanent erection from Hera. The Queen of the Gods learned that Priapus was another one of Zeus’s many bastards. As a result of her indignation with having to be constantly reminded of Zeus’s infidelity because of Priapus’s mere existence, she put a spell on him so that he would always have a massive erection, except when it came time for him to sexually perform. Then he would lose his erection and remain impotent.
Once I had heard the tale of Priapus for the first time, I couldn’t say that I was shocked one bit. I was well aware of all that Hera was capable of. It was no surprise that she would do something so cruel to someone who was completely innocent. After all, I’ve experienced it on more than one occasion.
Now this same god she cursed stood before me, but I was not sure as to why. “Is there anything I can help you with?” I asked him.
“No. Not really,” Priapus vaguely replied. “I just came to see it for myself.”
“See what for yourself?” I inquired.
“To see who the god was that finally captured the heart of Hestio. I saw the two of you holding hands as you navigated through the forest. Even from far away, I could instantly recognize that set of gorgeous auburn hair and smoldering figure of Hestio’s. You see, I have made many advances at him, myself, over the years, but was instantly turned down by him every single time.”
I was unsure of what to say to this. Did I feel sorrowful for Priapus? Yes, I partially did. It’s not a very settling feeling to have your heart broken. So, for that, I was sympathetic. But as to why he was now sharing this information with me, I hadn’t the slightest clue.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” was all I could manage to say to him.
“Well, I am too. Because for the life of me, I do not understand what Hestio could possibly see inyou. Just look at you and that hideous leg.”
I was stunned by his remark. Priapus must not have known I was now an Olympian God, for he would have thought twice before making such an indecent and brazen insult like that towards me.
But I was not intimidated by him whatsoever. I rose to my feet, ready to give him a piece of my mind. “I’d watch your tongue, Priapus. Little do you know that Zeus just established me as an Olympian God. I could easily squash you like the miniscule insect that you are.”
As I stepped forward, Priapus began to slowly back up. The tables had completely turned, and I was now the aggressor, while he remained petrified based on the disturbed expression written on his face.
“And I can comprehend why Hestio has no interest in you. It’s because of how uglyyouare on the inside,” I added.
Before Priapus could say another word and our argument could become even more heated, I heard someone call from behind me.
“Just let him be, Hephaestus. Do not waste your time with him,” Hestio stated.
I quickly spun around to see that he was dropping the pile of fruits and berries from his arms into a clear, clean area on the ground, before making his way closer to us.
“Priapus is clearly just a scorned man because he was rejected by me. I could sense his sanctimonious behavior the very first time we met. It was why I avoided him to begin with. Still, he has been relentless in trying to attract my attention ever since. Best just to ignore him altogether,” Hestio said with bitterness.
“Hmph!” Priapus let out a vexed grunt. “You’ll think twice before choosing to repudiate me, Hestio. Mark my words, you’ll live to regret the next time you…”
But before Priapus could finish his statement, a loud shout overshadowed him. “There you both are!”
Hestio and I abruptly turned around, spotting a youthful looking male wearing a golden helmet with bright, radiant white feathers coming out of each side of it. He wore gladiator sandals with wings sprouting from the back of them as well.
“Hermes? What are you doing here?” Hestio asked.
“Bringing forth a message,” Hermes informed us. “You and Hephaestus are being called upon to Mount Olympus. Both of you must return right away. Hera and Zeus have called a meeting for all the Olympian Gods. Your presence is required.”
