Page 73 of My Kind of Trouble

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Sticking out her bottom lip and twisting her fists against her eyes she mocked him, ‘Boohoo, you big cry-baby. Do you not have friends of your own to demand all their time from. It’s not my fault some of us have a life.’

‘I have plenty of friends, thank you, but sue me for wanting more sibling time. There’s me thinking I got best friend rights since I’ve been there for you since… oh, I don’t know… birth. But whatever, I guess.’

‘Oh yeah, because you had a choice in that,’ Noa laughed. ‘Things are just crazy right now, and I am trying to get settled. But I will make a mental note to make more time for your needy ass. I thought we had grown out of needing dedicated “sibling time”,’ she said whilst crooking her fingers in the air to make quotation marks. ‘But I was wrong, and I will remember that in the future.’

Ryan slouched down in his chair like a petulant child, folding his arms over his chest.

‘Thank you. That’s all I ask.’

Her dad, who had sat reading his newspaper, unfazed by their playful bickering, just looked up and winked at her. It was like his version of a pat on the back for placating her brother.

Whilst Ryan spoke, her mum kept giving knowing looks, but Noa just focused on trying to ignore them. She averted her eyes, looking down at the table, her fingers tracing the very obvious groove she had once tried to hide after she’d sliced into the oak during an evening of pumpkin-carving.

They’d been watching a scary movie on her laptop at the time, as was tradition before Halloween. At the height of a scary scene, Ryan had jumped from behind her to shout in Noa’s ear. With a shriek of fear, she’d cut straight through the pumpkin and into the table. Alex, who usually loved to take part in Ryan’s pranks and teasing, had taken this one badly and berated him for a solid five minutes about how risky it had been whilst she was holding a knife. He then got to work trying to help Noa try to hide the mark from her mum.

The memory made her realise that he had always been protective over her, and maybe she had missed so many signs. Despite their best efforts, Noa had never been able to hide anything from her mum, and she saw straight through them. Like Noa was sure she could now.

Instead of getting angry at them about the slice, though, her mum had pointed to the doorjamb where height markers were drawn throughout her childhood, then to the colourful family portrait in the corner of the skirting boards and said, ‘This house is a home, Noa. It’s the memories littered throughout that make it.’

Lifting her head from the table and taking in the loving family that surrounded her, Noa suddenly felt intense guilt that she had let this thing go on for so long whilst lying to her brother. If her mum knew without her telling her, then it was only a matter of time until Ryan would figure it out. She owed it to him to be the one to tell him directly. They would tell himsoon. She just needed to find the right time, and over family dinner was not it.

After a very draining family dinner, Tes arrived unannounced at their door, much to Ryan’s joy. Noa had never felt so glad to be saved by her best friend. Physically pulling her from the kitchen and up the stairs to her bedroom, she closed the door and fell back onto the bed, letting out a long breath.

‘Well, you look tense,’ Tes observed.

‘Understatement of the century. I can’t lie anymore. Ryan needs to know, but I need to talk to Alex and make sure we are both on the same page. He might want to be there when I tell him, so I just need to give Ryan a wide berth until then.’

‘Good luck with that,’ Tes laughed. ‘I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your brother is like a very intense, very badly-behaved golden retriever, begging for all the attention in a room all of the time.’

‘Thanks. I am aware, but avoidance has been my tactic so far and it seems to be working just fine. Anyway, I am so drained right now. I don’t want to deal or even think about this right now. I feel like I could sleep for a week, and it wouldn’t be enough. Fancy not talking about life for a bit and just watching some TV?’

‘Music to my ears.’

There were unsaid words on Tes’s lips, and Noa could see it. She knew when Tes was struggling. There was something going on with her friend and she knew she should ask, but she felt like she needed some quiet time as much as Noa did, and she didn’t wantto push.

So, ignoring any elephant in the room, the two of them bedded down under her covers, somehow squeezing into her single bed, and watched re-runs of Noa’s comfort TV show,Gilmore Girls. Noa had lost count of the number of times they’d done this together. The predictability of it had always settled something in her and, right now, she needed that.

Tinks squished between them comedically, with only her head popping out from under the covers, enjoying the strokes they both offered her. Noa sometimes wondered if her cat fancied herself more human than feline, but she wouldn’t change her for the world. The comfort her presence brought was like her own personal anti-depressant wrapped in fluff.

Not long into episode two, as Tinks’ light snores filled the room, Noa could feel Tes becoming increasingly restless as she tossed around the bed, letting the odd groan passed her lips.

‘What’s up?’ Noa asked.

‘Oh, just my stupid period. I feel like my uterus is trying to claw its way out of my body as we speak, and I will not thank her for it. Hurts like a bitch.’

‘Hot-water bottle?’

‘Oh my god, yes please.’

Noa flung her feet over the side of the bed and padded downstairs to the kitchen. She stared at the colourful tiles behind the kettle, mindlessly filling the hot-water bottle until suddenly the sight of it had her stomach falling.

What date was it?

When was the last time she had needed this for her own period? She couldn’t remember. Rushing to pull up her period tracking app on her phone, her heart sank when she realised she was two weeks late. Rushing back up to her room with more urgency than when she came downstairs, Tes sat bolt upright as she barged in, as if sensing her panic.

‘What’s up? What happened?’

‘I’m late.’