Page 20 of Isn't She Lucky
Giada, give me a call, please. This is Kasim.
A frown immediately comes to my face.How did he get my number?
“Girl, you look like you just saw a ghost. What’s wrong?”
“He just texted me.”
“Kasim?”
“Yeah. He wants me to call him, which ain’t going to happen. I don’t know how he got my number in the first place. What the heck is happening?”
“Girl, you can’t stop a persistent man, especially one with a bankroll. He probably knows where you live by now.”
“This is absurd. I’m finna put an end to it right now.”
I type a reply.
I don’t know how you got this number, but I told you ‘no’ to your proposal already. It was good to see you last night, but that’s where it ends. Goodbye, Kasim.
“What did you say?” Diedra asks. She’s placed the bowl of popcorn in her lap. It’shersnow.
“None of your business. I’m not about to be talking about this all night either,” I say, taking a sip of this hard lemonade that doesn’t seem to go down hard anymore. In fact, I’ve taken several sips that went down smoothly.
“You know what I find interesting?”
I roll my eyes as the alcohol eases me into a calmness that I don’t want to have. I want to be angry, but I’m not. I’m—I don’t know what I am.
“What do you find interesting, Diedra?”
“That Kasim was your crush, and then y’all just stopped talking. What’s up with that?”
I shrug nonchalantly as if the sting of losing him all these years later doesn’t still bother me. Then I remember the reason I had to let him go. It pained me for years, but as an adult, you shrug things off and keep it pushing. Childhood crushes and dreams of being with someone forever quickly fade when you realize what they think about you behind your back.
I say, “My mother was his parents’ maid.”
“I know that much. Wait—isthatwhy you stopped talking to him?”
“Not directly, but I—I felt like he and his parents secretly looked down on us. My mother worked for them for years, Diedra, and we were still struggling. We went to those rich people’s house every day, knowing we were returning home to a one-bedroom apartment with one TV. I literally had to sleep on a pull-out sofa bed. Meanwhile, they had enough bedrooms in that house to open a bed and breakfast.
“I’m not trying to downplay your situation, but as a single mother, your mom did what she had to do. You still had a roof over your head, right?”
“Yes, and I’m not denying that. I appreciate it all. I’m just telling you how I felt back then.”
“Okay, so let me see if I’m putting this together correctly. You resent him because his parents had money, and he grew up rich?”
“No. I—” I release a sharp breath as frustration builds in my chest, but it does nothing to lessen the bitterness I feel having to relive this. What a mess! There is no way something like this should affect me in this manner.
I say, “Right after freshman year—high school—during summer break, I went over to his house with my mom when she was working like I normally did. Kasim was there, of course, acting like he was happy to see me. Anyway, we were in his room and he asked me what I would do if he kissed me. I said, run. I remember that vividly, but I also remember I didn’t want to run because I was—well, IthoughtI was in love with him. And I also thought he was my boyfriend, even though we had never given each other any title. It was just unspoken. I felt like it didn’t need to be said. We were us. Kasim and Giada. So, we’re sitting in his room at the foot of the bed. He leaned forward and closed his eyes. I closed mine, and somehow our lips found their way to each other. It was quick, but impactful. Then we parted. I smiled. He smiled. My mother opened the door and we both jumped. I remember she was pissed. She didn’t see us kiss, but I knew thatsheknew we had feelings for one another. When I got home that evening, Mom warmed up some leftover spaghetti for dinner and told me I couldn’t go back there.”
“Why? Because of the kiss?”
“No. She said she had overheard a conversation between Kasim and his mother. His mother told him that she didn’t like all the time he was spending with me. Said it was cute when we were younger, but as teenagers, we were too close. She said he couldn’t get mixed up with themaid’s child, and he needed to set his interests on girls that were more on his level, like the ones at his private school. My mother said Kasim replied to her thathe knew better—that he wasn’t interested in me likethat, and he wouldn’t date a poor girl. There were prettier girls at his school. He even laughed at my clothes.”
“No,” Diedra says with a reddened face. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. So, you want to know what happened—that’s what happened. I never went back, and I’m not about to be connected to a man who broke my heart and called me ugly.”
“Wait—he didn’t call you ugly.”
