Page 22 of Isn't She Lucky
I sip more lemonade.
“Okay, okay, okay,” she says between gasps, still laughing. “All you have to do is sign them papers. After he gets his bread and you get yours, y’all can go your separate ways.”
“It’s deeper than that.”
“What is?”
“The connection we had. What I’m afraid of is falling back into that feeling of thinking we’re something when we’re really nothing. It’s not like he wants to marry me forme. This is for him—for his inheritance. I don’t want to confuse the two.”
“Then don’t. Keep a business mind about it. Let him know where you stand, and y’all go from there. There’s no need for you to miss out on this blessing because of some old beef.”
I sigh again, but I give her advice serious consideration. What would saying yes to this proposal mean? Am I to believe that we’d live separate lives while he gets his money, and I live like the wife of a rich man? Would he expect me to cook for him? Clean for him? Sleep in the same bed as him? Could I go through with sharing my life with this man whom I have a lot of resentment for? And if so, just how long is this fake marriage supposed to last?
5.
Her eyes areburned into my permanent memory like a fire that can’t be extinguished. The scent of her skin – the very sweetness of her – toys with my sanity. Sitting here across from her has me reliving the last time we were together. We were teenagers sitting on the edge of my bed on the verge of something we didn’t fully understand. I grimace slightly, remembering:
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.
I smiled. “What do you mean? I’m just looking at you.”
“But it’s different.”
I smiled and looked away, not sure if I wanted to say what was on the tip of my tongue. I just decided to go for it. “What would you do if I kissed you?”
She swallowed the knot in her throat and said, “Run.”
She chuckled.
I grinned. “You would run?”
She nodded.
I licked my lips, very doubtful that she would run away from me. I knew she wouldn’t. We’ve been as thick as thieves since we were eight. We were in sync. Something about us together wasperfect, and running away from each other wasn’t a part of the equation. We ran to each other with open arms. She was my saving grace. The girl I put ahead of everything and everyone in my life. My parents even knew I was in love with her. They didn’t say anything, but they knew. Knew I was sliding her money. She didn’t ask for it. I just gave it to her because I felt like she needed it. I wanted her to have nice things like I had. I wanted her to be happy. That’s how I knew I loved her.
I licked my lips and leaned forward. Closing my eyes, I waited until they connected with hers. When they finally did, something came alive in me. It was a brief kiss. Too brief. At fourteen, I didn’t know how to kiss. I just knew it was what you did when you loved someone.
And I loved her. Deeply.
We separated.
She smiled.
I smiled.
“I thought you were going to run?” I asked.
“I thought so, too. I guess my heart had other plans.”
She leaned closer to me, pressing her forehead to mine, and then, boom – the door opened.
“Giada Gardner, come here right now!”
Her mother was livid. I saw it all on her face as she stood at my door with a broom and a dust rag. We weren’t even kissing when she opened the door, but somehow I feel like she knew what had just happened.
That was the last time I saw her before the bachelor auction last weekend. This evening is the second time. I can’t believe she’s agreed to meet me, but she’s here. This is real.She’sreal. And she’s beautiful. Beautiful in a way that’s pleasing, yet makes me ache. Makes me feel a tinge of pain and chaos in my heart at the distance I feel between us. But I’m grateful that she’s here,even if I am going through an array of gut-twisting emotions in the process. I thought for sure I’d nearly have to beg my way into her good graces, but Diedra must’ve done a good job talking her into giving my proposal serious consideration.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks.
