Page 6 of Falling for Ezra Thomas
“What is going on in here?” Rafe pushes in past Silas with a game controller in one hand and a breadstick in the other.
“This doofus joined the Army and didn’t think to tell us until mere days before leaving,” Beck says, fuming. His face is red, and he’s a second away from an epic meltdown.
“Beck, maybe consider this from his point of view,” Silas says, but Beck only shoots him the signature drop dead glare.
“He what?” Rafe stares at me with that same betrayed expression Beck does. If Lev were home, there’s no doubt in my mind he’d be in here giving it to me too.
Beck growls. “Look, it isn’t that you joined the Army that ticks me off. It’s that you didn’t tell anyone, and now you’re waiting until the last minute? That’s going to be what breaks Mom’s heart. Didn’t you think we’d support you?”
“It isn’t that. Have you ever had…How do I say this?” I bite my lip and sigh with deep frustration. I cannot explain this to them, especially with Beck so angry, but I’m out of time.
“A pull to do something you can’t deny, but without a good enough reason to give your family,” Silas says. “You two don’t understand, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that,but you gotta know it isn’t easy to explain this to people. You get this pull, thisideaof something you have to do, and it makes no sense because it all seems so out of left field.”
“Only, it isn’t. It’s your thing. It’s what you’re supposed to do, at least for now,” Rafe says. His gaze focuses on me as if he’s still trying to read me. “I sort of get it. I mean, I’m not giving you an out for not telling us sooner, but, yeah, I…I get it.”
Beck throws his hands in the air and stands, shoving the chair back. He storms from the room and slams the door against the wall. The only time he’s ever gotten this mad was when guys would beat up on me on the ice. He always protected me when we played hockey together. He sees red when he thinks I’m in danger, and…oh. He’s not mad. He’sscared.
I shove from the bed and chase him down the hall.
“Beck! Wait!”
He ignores me and jogs down the stairs, passing the dogs on his way toward the front door. Yanking the keys off the organizer hook causes the whole thing to come down and crash all over the floor, so he kicks it across the room in a fit. He hasn’t behaved like this since that last game, the one that ended his career.
“Beck!”
He finally stops and turns. Heaving breaths rock his shoulders and he clenches his jaw so tightly, he can hardly breathe. Rafe and Silas stare at us from the bottom of the stairs, waiting. Beck inhales long and deep, then says, “You’re going to get killed.” His voice cracks on the last word and his veneer fades. Angry tears fall from his eyes and dot his gray tee shirt, and I realize what a jerk I’ve been.
Rafe and Silas slip into the kitchen and give us a moment to work this out, even though I’m not so sure it can be worked out in the time I have left. Five days. I have to make this right witheveryoneinfivedays. I’m a fool, and getting involvedwith Lorelai on top of all this is the stupidest idea I’ve ever entertained.
“How could you do this?” Beck asks, his voice wavering.
I close my eyes as the sting of tears bites hard. “I didn’t do it to hurt you, Beck. I’m as drawn to this as you were to hockey. It’s something I have to do, and I really hope you can find a way to forgive me for not telling you sooner.”
We’re in a standoff, and neither of us seems to know where to go from here. It’s like looking in a mirror, save the few freckles he has over his nose, and it hits me how interconnected we’ve always been. I mean, on some level I’ve known. We’re twins. We have the bond thing, but this? I thought the emotional turmoil he faced when he lost any chance at a pro hockey career was rough, but it turns out, I’m the one who has brought him to his lowest point.
For our whole lives, we’ve done everything together. But he can’t do this with me.
“Beck?”
He flinches at the sound but maintains eye contact.
“I’m scared, too, but I have to do what I truly believe God has put in my path. I need you for this as much as I’ve always needed you.”
Tears slip free and over his cheeks again and he nods. He clenches his jaw, working to hold it back, but he can’t.
“I love you,” I say.
This hits him hard enough for him to let go. His slow tears break into choking sobs that break my heart. I don’t know what to do, but my feet do. I’m moving across the room and before I know it, I’m hugging my twin. Our whole lives, we’ve had each other’s backs, but he can’t follow me wherever I go, cross checking enemies into the glass when they come after me. He can’t be the enforcer smashing skulls and slinging sticks when things go wrong. I’ll be on my own.
This is why I should have told him sooner. I let some misguided idea that I had to tell Lorelai first dictate when I’d tell the truth. It was an excuse to avoid this, the very thing I knew would happen. Tears and fear. Worry. All because of me.
“You gotta talk to Viv and Lore about this,” he mumbles. It’s enough hugging for him, and he wiggles free. He sniffles and wipes his nose before adjusting his shirt. “Viv might be my fiancée but she’s still your best friend. You’re not strapping me with telling her.”
“Will you at least come with me?” I bite back the sting in my throat and try to mentally prepare for what I’m about to do.
He chuckles, but it’s anything but jovial. “Yeah. Someone has to make sure she doesn’t murder you.”
“Vivien is not going to murder me,” I say and grab my coat.
