Page 8 of Falling for Ezra Thomas
“Ez,” she whispers and wiggles free from Beck’s grip. “Did you think we would be mad at you? Or that we wouldn’t support you?”
Ezra swallows. “Truthfully, I assumed some of you would be angry, yes. There are quite a lot of people to tell, and not everyone will take it the same way.”
Boy, isn’t that the truth. With nine siblings, two loving parents, and a few family-like friends, he’ll be explaining until he’s blue in the face. And the reality of it hits me all at once. He’s leaving. The thought of it forces a ball of steel onto my chest. A white-hot ball…with barbs.
“I mean, I’m not thrilled, but I’m proud of you.” Vivien steps forward and Ezra stands to meet her. The way he relaxes in her embrace seems to set the rest of the room at ease too. Beck’s eyes are red rimmed, presumably from holding back tears. This is monumental. It’s as big as Silas leaving for Romania, and it is likely to have the same explosive consequences with a ripple effect the whole town of Coldstone Creek will feel.
Beck runs his hands over his face and mumbles something before standing and joining the hug. Suddenly, I feel more out of place than ever in my own home. Slipping off of the sofa and disappearing into my bedroom to mope is my best bet, but the huddle hug is still happening right in front of me. When it was just Ezra and Vivien, it was bad enough, but now they’ve gone and softened up Beck and it’s plain weird now.
I manage to maneuver off the sofa without disturbing them and make it halfway down the hallway before anyone notices I’m gone. Holding back tears is more work than I can manage right now.
“Lore, wait,” Vivien says. She jogs down the hallway, meeting me in the middle. She seems mighty happy for someone whose best friend is leaving to go who knows where for who knows how long. “Are you okay?”
I shrug. “Sure, why wouldn’t I be okay?” It’s a big lie, but I can’t admit to her that Ezra leaving impacts me more than quitting my job. I have to put on a brave face, support her, pretend I’m completely fine with losing something I never had to begin with.
“Because someone we both care about just joined the Army?” Her voice raises which tells me two things—one, she hoped more would come from this visit from Ezra besides this announcement, and two, she’s faking her happiness for his benefit. She’s not happy, not excited, and not taking it as well as she’s putting on. But it’s what those two do. They fake it for each other, even when it’s hard, andthatis why they work as friends. But for me, things are changing way too fast, and it’s scary.
“Areyouokay?” I grasp her hand and pull her into my bedroom while the twins talk in the living room. After I shut the door, she releases the tears she held back.
“I am. Mostly. I mean, I’m trying to be strong so he doesn’t feel so awful and Beck can lean on me, but it’s shocking. I don’t want him to go, but it isn’t like he has a choice at this point, right?” She smears her mascara when wiping her tears.
I reach for her and pull her into a hug. It wasn’t long ago that Ezra Thomas was the apple of her eye, then his twin swooped in and stole her heart. That never changed the deep friendship between Vivien and Ezra though, and it breaks my heart for her.
“Are you okay?” she asks, wiggling free. “You don’t seem to care. You’re almost robotic at this point.”
I lower my gaze to the floor. “I care. Of course, I care, but what else is there to say? He’s leaving, and whatever might have been between us doesn’t stand a chance.”
“But Lore—”
“Hey, it’s all right. It’s probably better this way. He apologized and now I know why he fritzed out on me.”
She frowns and crosses her arms. “No, that doesn’t work for me. You know as well as I do that youstillneed to talk this out with him. At least smooth it over before he leaves.”
“I don’t think that’s necessary. We’re good.” I match her stance, ready to go toe to toe with her to avoid the very thing I was afraid of to begin with. There is no hope for Ezra and me, and that would be okay if not for one massive problem.
Iwantsomething with him.
“No, you’re not. I don’t know why you’re acting this way, but this isn’t like you. You don’t shut out people you care about. Beck and I are going to get a late dinner, and when we get back, you two better have worked this out because I can’t stand it any longer.”
I motion over my bed piled high with clothing and other necessities all set out for my trip thatsheinsisted I take. “I have to pack but if he wants to sit around in the living room and wait for you two to return, then he’s welcome to do so.”
“Really mature, Lore.” Vivien’s grumble matches her fiancé’s, but she leaves the room and shuts the door behind her all the same. She says something to Beck and a short conversation ensues, then the front door slams shut and all is quiet.
All right. Maybe Iamacting like a child, but my entire life has managed to blow up in one day.One day.
I’ve quit my job with no prospects, I have an injury that hurts like the dickens, and the only guy I’ve had any interest in since graduating high school has just up and joined the Army. I’m not okay, but I don’t know how to fix any of it. Part of it, I can’t fix.
I toss my clothing in the bag and sit on the bed. The pile of books slides into my lap, so I push it aside and pull my legs up to sit cross-legged. Graduating high school early and pushing hardthrough college and veterinary school kept me too busy to enjoy dating and other things most people got to do. Being driven is my legacy, I guess, but I don’t know anything else. It’s in my blood, my DNA, the whole fiber of my being. And now…I’m stuck. I have nothing to do but pack and go on a trip with some hope that I might figure out my life while hiding away in a cabin.
Alone.
The first tears slide free and land on my jeans, dotting them with little stains. I shudder a breath and wipe my cheeks, prayerfully considering what I should do. What doesGodwant me to do?
“Lore?”
A soft knock jolts me from my prayers. I thought Ezra would have left as well, but his soft whisper at my door sends my heart into overdrive.
“Lore, can you come out? Please?”
