Page 9 of Falling for Ezra Thomas
Snatching a tissue from my bedside, I frantically wipe my cheeks before heading to the door. I don’t know what I’m going to say or do, but Vivien is probably right. We need to get this over with, smooth things over, especially since he’s leaving. I crack the door and he steps back a little, but doesn’t remove his hand from the door frame.
“Lore? Were you crying?” He brushes his fingers over my cheeks and pushes off the frame. “Come here.”
Somehow, I end up in his arms, and it feels so right my defenses fall without even a second thought. How can something so impossibly wrong feel so right? How can his arms around me feel like home, like the place I’m supposed to be, when I’ve never even considered him as more than a friend for almost a decade?
“I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I’m trying to keep my head above water, and I’m drowning.” He rests his chin on the crown of my head and sighs. “I never, ever meant to hurt you, Lore.”
“I know,” I whisper. “I know.”
“I didn’t expect what happened between us that night, and then I didn’t know what to say after it did. That doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it or you, okay? It’s pretty much all I’ve thought about.”
I inhale even as he holds me tighter. All I can do is nod and pray that this conversation doesn’t bring me to my knees.
Chapter Six
Ezra
Glancing over Lorelai’s shoulder,I spy a suitcase overflowing with clothes and a pile of books. “Are you going somewhere?” I ask, panic filling my chest. I know I need to end this, put a period so neither of us is stuck in misery while I’m gone. But now that she’s in front of me, melting in my arms, I don’t think I can. How can I walk away from something that feels this right?
She looks behind us and shrugs, releasing herself from my embrace. “I already told you that I am. Vivien insists I take a weekend getaway and unwind. I guess she’s going to ask your parents if I can borrow the cabin.” She swipes a few stray tears and clears her throat. She did tell me, but my brain is so scrambled, I can’t even remember to breathe.
“I think you deserve a retreat. Beck said you were attacked by a squirrel?”
Lorelai looks up at me with watery eyes and nods. “Yeah. Um, Mr. Nuts is a psychotic squirrel that always escapes. Anyway, he bit me and it was the final straw. I quit my job.”
The uncontrollable urge to kiss her takes my mind to places it shouldn’t, so I clench my jaw and try not to be the idiot who acts on his impulses again. “I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I think you deserve a much better job. That place is insane, and you’re always working.”
Lorelai licks her lips and sighs. She’s barely holding it together, but I can’t tell if it’s losing her job, the pain from the squirrel bite, ormewho’s causing her discomfort the most right now. I don’t want to be the cause, but I have undoubtedly made her life more difficult.
“I guess I’ll reset over the weekend and try to figure out something next week. Viv says she’s got rent covered while I find another job, but it isn’t like she’s going to be living here for much longer.” Her eyes go wide and she jerks her head up. “Are you going to miss the wedding?”
“No, I don’t think so. Based on the schedule, I should be back in time unless something changes. I swear, I had no idea my best friend and twin would date, fall in love, get engaged, and get married within a few months. I enlisted long before that.”
“Right,” she says matter-of-factly. “Yeah. Of course.” She furrows her brow and tilts her head. “Wait, is that why you set them up? Because you knew you’d be leaving?”
I shake my head. “No, I set them up because I knew he liked her and they would be the perfect couple if they ever got out of their own way. The fact that it worked out so well is a bonus, but I’m not going to lie, it does make me feel better about leaving them both even if that wasn’t my initial reason for doing it.”
Storm clouds roll in and those pretty eyes of hers cloud over. I can’t help or change the sudden need to be more than friends with this woman. She’s always been around, always been asounding board for all of us. She knows us all as well as Vivien does, and she’s gotten into her fair share of trouble around Coldstone Creek with us…just like Viv. We’re friends. We’reclose.And I want more. And I’m beginning to think she should have a say in this before I put a definitive nail in the coffin, ending any chance that wemightactually make a relationship work.
I tip her chin up and go for broke. “I just didn’t see you coming. You and the feelings I have for you kind of threw a wrench in my plans.”
She swallows hard and her lips part, eyes roaming my face as if she can read what I mean without asking. “What…what do you mean?” Her breathy response warms my face and kicks my urge to kiss her into overdrive.
“Lorelai,” I whisper but my brain glitches. I’msupposedto explain why it would be difficult for us to be together. I don’t know where they’ll send me after basic, and even if I did, it’s not easy to be the significant other of someone in the military. It’s a sacrifice, and this woman has already worked too hard to achieve her goals for me to swoop in and upend everything.
I sigh and close my eyes, but I can’t seem to pull my hand from her face. There’s so much to say, but words stick in my throat. If it weren’t for me having to leave, we could take our time. Figure out what this means. Go on a few dates and find out if we’re truly as compatible as I think we are. But it won’t work that way, not for us.
Ideas spin through my mind as we stand this way, frozen in time.
Until she shifts a fraction and the next thing I know, her soft lips press against mine. I lose the battle with my own self control and scoop her up. She’s in my arms, her lips gently peppering my face while I carry her down the hallway and to the sofa. It’s where it all began. One popcorn fight and a moment ofeye contact turned into a storm of emotions I haven’t stopped thinking about.
I sit and pull her close before claiming her lips. Kissing Lorelai is nothing like I would have expected. The woman puts her whole heart into everything she does, always has, and whatever this is between us isn’t different. She hasmasteredthe art of reading my mind—at least where kissing is concerned—and it’s as close to perfection as anything can be.
But I can’t shake the feeling that Beck and Vivien might barge in at any moment despite havingjustleft for dinner, and I tense. Lorelai pulls back and gasps as if she can’t believe we’ve done it again. Her fingers trail over her lips but she doesn’t break eye contact with me. Her eyes search mine with so much worry, so much innocent and purehopethat I can’t let her think this was a mistake. Who cares if my best friend and brother return and catch us? Again?
I swallow over the dryness in my throat and pull her closer. She lets me tuck her against my chest, but that shock on her face remains. I slide my hand up her back and into her hair, pulling her still closer. She lets me kiss her, hold her, keep her next to me until I have to pull away for breath. I gasp and release her.
“Lorelai, I…” I groan and kiss the top of her head. After another breath, I try again. “I have feelings for you. I know it’s sudden and probably insane, but I can’t really control how I feel about you. I didn’t see it coming, and the timing is horrible. We can’t date like normal people would. I won’t get to see you, it’ll stress you even more, and—”
